slomoj2000

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I just calculated my BMI for the first time in a long time and it is actually down to 29.6, which is moderately overweight and not morbidly obese! This just might give me the encouragement I need to keep at it!  Praise God!

So today at support group, I realized that I need to make a fresh start of things.....I had surgery on June 24th over two years ago. I remember thinking at that time that it was going to be amazing and that everything would work out and I would lose weight with the help of the band and that by losing weight I would be happier and healthier and that would lead to better aspects in all of my life.  Instead, I've had problems finding the right fill level in my band, had to change doctors, which has broken the consistancy that I need to stay on track, and have been having problems getting in to see my current doctor ever since the nurse practictioner, of whom I loved by the way, left for further endeavors.  

I have let all of this stuff and the other stresses that I've had going on in my life: death in the family, moving, looking and finding a boyfriend, trying to find a teaching job in Michigan, not having insurance without a teaching job, getting a new house, getting a puppy, and just being a WLS person in general, take over. I have used all of this stuff to make excuses for myself and to not exercise and not eat what I should be eating.  I know that I eat too fast sometimes and forget meals. I know how important eating 6 small meals a day in. I know how important drinking a lot of water is of which I haven't been doing. I know how important protein is and the fact that I STILL cannot eat meat without throwing up really bothers me. It's not normal to throw up twice a week *on a good week* but considering that with my old doctor is was almost every other day, I guess it's better-but it's NOT OKAY. I just don't know what to do.

I have an appointment with my doctor next Wednesday and I hope that she knows whether to fill my band or release some fluid. I don't know what to do anymore, but I've decided that I'm going to stop making excuses and own up to my own WLS life. I need all of the help that I can get and so I am also vowing to check this everyday as one of my fellow support groupers said that it helps her stay on track.  If anyone has any words of encouragement, I sure could use some right now.  

I am so unbelievably frustrated right now!!!! I hope someone out there can relate and help me because for the past two months the only thing that I've been able to keep down are the sliders....soup, ice cream, potatos, chips, etc. basically bad stuff except for the soup.....I've become so frustrated that I've started going back on my old eating habits, which I never wanted to do, but everytime I try to eat meat/protein that I'm supposed to, it comes back up.....since I'm not supposed to throw up, what the heck am I supposed to do? It's not like my band is too tight...it hasn't been tightened in 3 months because my Doctor was out of town and busy....and then it was only filled .5 cc....I'm scared that I will have the same problem tomorrow when I go to the doctor and he fills it.....if I'm only able to keep down sliders.....how is the band working for me...it's not!!!! I don't know what to do?? 

Does anyone out there have Dr. Kam from Grand Traverse Surgery as a doctor for the Lap Band? or another WL procedure...I'm just curious :)

Ugh! Today just feels like one of those days where you want to eat the entire container of ice cream, you know? I can't help but wonder if this lifestyle gets any easier...I've been at it awhile, almost a year, and it still seems like I'm starving....all I can do is hope for tomorrow.