Sookie77

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It is hard to believe that I am 6 weeks out and I am doing well.  I am down 25lbs since surgery.  I still wish I could count the 12lbs they put on me when I was in the hospital lol but I am still very happy with the way I am doing.  The infection is clearing up and I am working part time, which is helping to get my mind from the mush brain that I had.  I am enjoying the day to day things.   I have met my first goal of getting below 200lbs which I have not seen in 6 years when I was unemployed and going to the gym 6 days a week.  Plus going dancing 2-3 nights a week.  I am walking and doing more and more each day.  So smile and enjoy the day.

Well here it is 2 week's out and I am doing better than hubby thought I would, but not as good I as I had hoped I would be.  I just don't bounce back as fast anymore.   I am doing well losing weight I am down 10lbs and that to me is amazing.   I can't believe that I am changing that fast, but people that haven't seen me since the day of my surgery say they notice a difference in my face. 

I am walking more everyday, I even drove for the first time today.  All in all I am very glad I am on the losers bench!

Just for today I have made a better choice for me. That is how I am taking this week.  We will bury my mother on Saturday and it is bringing all the hurt back up again.  I would normally run to the baking and bake & eat my way through all of the pain, but I am not doing that and I am happy about it.  I have lost weight since mom passed and I have kept it off, I am still pre-op so I could eat anything I want, but I haven't and that makes me feel good. 

I am in charge of baking the cake and making some of the food for after and I have decided to make it all at a friends house and not touch it.   I know Mom was  always worried about my weight and I am now going to do something about it.   I know it will be a tough weekend, but I have a great husband and wonderful kids to help me through. 

And just for today I will make the right choices and when tomorrow comes I will know how to chose for TODAY!

This journey that I started as a support person for my DH has turned my life around.  I just went for my pre-op testing and I am one step closer to my surgery.  This road has had some setbacks, some ups and some downs, but I know in my heart I will reach my goal when I am supposed to get there.  I had doubts about this whole process for a while, and I would sabotage my weight loss so I wouldn't make weight and then I had an excuse.  When I lost my mother just over 2 months ago my normal response would have been to eat myself silly, and probably no one would have said a word about it.  Although I did make a couple of bad choices overall I did very well and actually managed to cook and feed about 100 people with out gaining weight.    So when I went exactly 2 months after I lost Mom and I was below goal I knew it was the true sign that this is the time for me.  By doing this I have set a goal for myself to be the first woman on my mothers side of the family to live to 80 years old.  (my mom was 66, her mom was 54, my aunt was the eldest at 71)  so for my health this is for ME!  This journey we call life is to be enjoyed and not watched from the sidelines and I am one step closer to participateion instead of spectator.  So I guess no matter what you are going Through, and all the hoops we have to jump through to get the insurance to approve us, just enjoy the journey you will get there when it is exactly your time to arrive.

Wow it doesn't seem possible that it has  been 2 months since I lost my Mom.  So much has changed yet
it all seems to stay the same as well.  I still go by her house about 3 times a week, but now it is to clean it out.
I still jump when I hear the phone ring, and sometimes I even think it may be her.  I know I will never get that phone
call again, but sometimes I just forget she's gone.  I was not sure how to tell Mom I was preparing for surgery,  she had
seen my husband go through it and a good friend as well and she wasn't sure about it.  She said I didn't need to lose that
much, but the next day she would ask if Walmart still carried my size.  That was mom, but now I know this is the time for me.  I am ready and it is time for me to take me back and be able to do the things I want to do with my boys. 
SO Table Rock beware, I am coming back for another trip up the Goat Path this summer! 

I can't believe it has  been so long since I have been on here.  So much has happened in the last 5 months.  My mother went in for a pacemaker and it went down hill from there.  I lost my mom at the end of January, and it still doesn't  seem real yet.  I am working, and trying to clean out her house, keep up with family and all of her friends that just can't believe that she is gone.  I am trying to be everything to everyone, and I think I can handle it for a little while longer.  I know when her birthday hits I will fall apart, but I will make sure to be there for my boys. 

Losing mom has made me kick it into gear with losing the last few pounds I need to make goal.  I would like to be at goal weight by the end of Feb.  I know I can do it and more.  I want to be healthy and be able to do things with my husband and my boys.  I need to do this for me!  I am worth it and I deserve to be happy.

I am making better choices even with this.  I am not bringing sweets into the house and have had very little to do with them outside of the house.  I have had some slips, I don't think of them as cheating, I think of it as sliding back to my old ways of comfort food. 

Well,  I am walking almost 1 to 2 miles a day and am not seeing much progress.  I am not stopping, just hopping things will pick up soon.  I need to keep walking, but the knee is not liking what I am doing.  I need to lose another 12 pounds before I can be scheduled.  I have met with Jackie, and PT I have scheduled to meet with Dr. Wagner and I have taken the classes already.  So I am really just venting.  I am hoping to have this done before the end of November. OK I am off my pity party now and out for a walk.

Well after my official first meeting with Nancy I had put on 2.5 lbs since weigh in.  Not the way I wanted to go, but it happened.  I am not officialy starting my pre-op weight loss and I am making better choices for me.  I started eating more protein and less carbs.   I had a tough choice Saturday with being at camp and all the food that was around, but I was proud of myself and I didn't over eat.  I did have some Taffy Apple salad that was not the best choice, but compared to the 3 layered rasperry filled wedding cake I helped my mother make it was a better choice and for me that is a start.  I weighed myself at home and I have lost almost 3lbs since meeting with Nancy.  So we are getting things going in the right direction at last.  

Well it was donation day today and my iron level was too low,   I am worried that I will be too anemic post surgery to donate.  This is something that I started doing with my brother and even though we don't donate together anymore I still feel close to him when I donate.  I know that sounds strange, but that is how it is.  So I pick myself up, call the Dr and get another script for Vit D and try again next month.

Well I went to my PCP on Friday and she couldn't get the paper work to Dr. Gens fast enough, she was so excited that I would consider this tool.  I was a little frightened at how happy she was.  My blood pressure was up a bit and she is
worried that it will continue to go up. It has me a bit concerned as well.  She was happy that I had lost 5lbs since March, but  to me it was nothing for all of the changes that I had made.   I guess I am rambling more for me than anything else.  Sam took pictures of me for my highest weight and then I  took some of him for his 2 week out he has lost so much and I am so scared that I won't be able to do it.  Anyways I have started down this road and I know it will be a better life for all of us!