stephanie507

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Its been a long time since I been here in the room.  I am going to go from VSG to Bi pass I put on 35 lbs in the last 4 yrs post op.  However been having other health issues so I need to loss more weight dealing Barrett Syndrome and other stuff to long to explain.  A part of me feels like a failure and another part of me feels proud I am doing something to help myself.  I got remarried on 8/4/12 to my new love I started dating 6/2011 it has not been easy but most time worth the drama.  My son in medical school in CA and I am about to be a grandma at 46 go figure.  Life has been with its up's and downs but I am here.  Glory be to GOD.  I been dealing with depression and I pray it does not get worst because when the food is gone really gone I still have to deal with my grief and loss my mom died 5/18/2013.  I miss having her in my world just to know she's here and loves me unconditionally.  Any way this is my journey my life.  Dr. Sadek is doing my new surgery 7/31/15 I pray it goes well but I am still scared.  Anyone gone from VSG/sleeve to Bi Pass what have been your experince(s)?  Help in NJ trying t make it out here, be blessed.  

Today I restarted my weight loss journey it is rather has been a real trip.  Well I started back at the gym ya GYM.  It was so hard to but I did it 1/2 of cardio and little arms weight lifting....I am going 3 days a week until I can get back to 5 days a week my future hubby is joining with me this week to keep his sexy body  in shape did I mention  that he is 6'9" tall.  So he can afford to get some muscle's.lol.... We sister is tired everyone good night...Going to snuggle up with my boo....

So with that having been typed lol. How is everyone I pray the new year bring each of you happiness and peace.  I am living my life at my second job working hardly.lol  I am still in love even more crazy as that might seem or sound out loud we are staying home for new year with my now 21 yr. old son.  Cooking a little munchy food.  I have not lost another pound 240 holding but  I am OK with that not.. My anniver is coming 2/9/12 and I am having thyroid remove on the 2/10/12 So happy anniver to me.  I should be 210/220 by now but I am not hitting the gym as hard as I once did tired but ai am planning to go today.  Pray for me have not been for 2 months ya love did it to me and lack of sleep working to much two jobs and grad school.  But with the new year tomorrow I am recommitting to me plus I miss the feeling of sweating it out the stress of life.  y son applied to 4 medical school and two turned him down I feel so bad for him.  But he is applying to grad school as his back up then reapply next year.  I am so proud of him he is my everything.  Now on to my man he is still wonderful towards me and the sex life is awesome.  I am planning to have tummy tuck in the spring gives me some time to lose more weight.  I am in therapy now once a week not sure if I need to be but it feels so right.  OK no one get on me about my writing skills  I am sleep deprived and hung over last night was date night and drinking when we got in from movie and dinner.  I am able to get more now but not a whole lot at once.  My life has changed for the better thank god for this surgery and Dr. Sadek.  I thought I would be half of what I was but I know if I do the work i will be I m 50 pound from my want to weight.  Yet for me I m healthy in size 16/18 from 26/28 so I am so happy.   I am in love with me and have a good man next to me who love my extra skin and tummy so to all that think its not possible it is trust in yourself and do it all for you.  Happy in love in NJ.  Maybe soon I will be telling u guy's I got married to my lover best friend Ron.   This is life on my terms how about that my terms.....

It's been a minute since I written on here I miss everyone.  I am still hitting the gym and working out weight loss has slowed down but it's because I am eating more lol if that is possible.  I am happy so let me tell how crazy my life has been the last month I meet an old childhood friend from 30 yrs ago.  We grow up next door to each other he was my first crush lol.  now fast forward to now we are can say living together crazy as that might seem.  My 20 yrs old is not to pleased but hey it's my life and I am happy he is a good man towards me.  He is in recovery and I still worry that he might relapse but I am going to believe he wants to remain sober its a daily choice.  Anyway I am happy today and today is all that matter right lol.  We have fun together both in mid life lol the 40's.  So today I made a decision to not live in fear of another failed relationship.  It's so nice to have a partner that talks to me and shares his feelings.  I pray for him to find a peace in his life I am talking about that internal peace.  I can't explain it any better then to say life can be all that you (we) desire.  I am at a point in my life to be at peace and living for me even if I don't lose another pound i am down 122 lbs I am 238lbs wow ......My boo is the sweetest man I am so enjoying him in my life all 6'8" of him...

Hi everyone it's been some time since I've been on the site wow life is so crazy right now.  i am dating (sexing) a old childhood friend he is a tall man and old friend.  But enough about him it's crazy in my world right not still in grad school but on line this semester.  I am down to 248 wow weeee I am just getting back from visiting Cornell and Canada (for the weekend) for my son he is graduating from college 2012 and applying to become Vet doctor.  I am so happy I started getting this weight off my engo said 200 lbs will be good for me I say no I want 180lbs half of what  I was last year. 
Well the trucker is still on the road and the other guy we are on chill he pissed me off when he did not go on the boat ride after I brought the tickets trying to treat him special as he did towards me.  So we had few words and I told him I can not do this even thought now I am missing him.  I text-ed him today to say hi but so far no response. 
When I got back from Canada right away I showered changed my clothes and went to my can I call him boyfriend no he just got out of relationship with a gf of 4yrs but I living for today and enjoying what ever this is.  He and I will define it he asked me if I would still see him if he went back to her I had no answer.  I am living for this moment I visited my husband on 8/1/11.  I stayed the night with him and the sex was good but I am no longer in love with him.  I know understand how people say they love there ex but no long in-love with him.  It's sad but life goes on and I am still his friend for life he gave me our son.  But back to sex it is so great now that I am I am 110 lbs off my body I can't wait until this last 50 lbs to 70lbs and my tummy tuck.  He is supportive but in a friendship kind of way. 
I went to NYC yesterday afternoon with a girlfriend she went to see a plastic surgeon Dr. Micheal Jones and she is getting butt job done I think this month.  I told her I would be there for her since she wants the surgery.   Life is good right now I am going to a party this fridays and saturday new group of friends meeting for the first time.  I been having an awesome summer a new lover (old lover), hanging with friends and traveling life is good....Be blessed  Ps you guys can leave a comment or two darn....lol

Well I told you how I met a guy named David and another guy on  July 1 in NYC at this club we end up meeting again for dinner on my Birthday 7/8 he took me to this expensive restaurant called The Palm he was very luck I am such a cheap date.  This restaurant was so expensive I had a great time.  Oh PS is government name is Youssouf not David he explained to me how the name thing to me he is so sweet and age check 32 not 27 it's a little better.  Then the next day I went to meet up with the other guy his name is Abdul also African for dancing in NYC.  We meet at a BBW party in lower east side lets just say he looked so good but hear this ladies he said after he brought my drink he did not have any money to go to another club so I was with friends and did not drive so we left him.  He later text ed me this long long to long message how I was wrong to leave I explained to him that I offered him a ride to hang out but because he had no money he could not go.  Get this after all that he still wanted to go out with me but I told him I was not interested because he does not know how to treat a lady.  So I ended it before it began ladies I was kind. 
No back to my dating Dre the trucker the heavy guy he has me mentally so open to him even though in the past he was not psychically my type.   But he has me so open to him.   Now Youssof we went out last night our plans were change because sister girl cold not find 42 n st after taking the wrong tunnel into NYC.   We recovered after I had to get off the phone because I was going to lose it.   We went to a movie in Bronx we saw Bad Boss highly recommend the movie.  Afterward we went back to his place and the rest lets just say sister girl is happy.  I know it was only the second date but dam it so what I enjoyed what ever we are having now.  The funny thing of it is the trucker is the one that has me open mentally but Youssof is the one that I am having sex with go figure.  He told me he like what he sees as in my body.  How about that before the needed tummy tuck and let's just say this after 100 lbs loss sister girl needs it lol... He is coming out here to NJ this Friday night who knows what will happened between us may love or just lust but I am happy and that is all that matters.  Oh before I forget he is Muslin I really do not understand the religion but he tells me he pray 5 times a day and a few other intimate details that I'm not put on here.  But I am Christian but he told me we both believe in God that is all that matters.  I like both of these men so let's see what happened this summer....Sister girl out....

Hi all I am home this is the first time in years Ive ever been home on the fourth of July well i am in grad school so i am home doing my homework.  boo hoo for me right not lol.  My son is out hanging with his friends which is what a almost 21 yr old should be doing right.  yes bur a part of me is missing him but i know i need to let him go and be with his peers and friends.  It is so nice to have a great child he is my world and now i know what true love is it unconditional and so kind.  enough now of the mess stuff David's been calling me like crazy to day I talked to him 2 third time i had to tell him I'm busy doing homework.  We are meeting up in NYC to hang out on my birthday I know I will have fun with him.  He offered to take me to Central park for a run in two weeks he added walking in there too.  But girls I have to tell you this 27 yr old has an amazing body and when we talk we talk about working out and he is so encouraging to boot.  Today ladies I ran on the treadmill for 30 Min's and did 30 Min's of walking too I felt awesome I never thought in a million years I would love the gym its my life. 
Today I did better eat ting had coffee, protein shake which i made and ice pops and popcorn OK not perfect but it's all i wanted.  I miss Dre that's the trucker he told me last night he never dated a woman over 200 lbs that's when it hit me I felt instantly fat again but he then went on to tell me how much he like me and that he should of never had a rule.  Mind you we still have not have sex he is 350lbs so i was thinking how dare he but then again we all have our preferences.  I never been into heavy men myself.  Bot girls he makes me feel so safe when I m with him.  He told me he is not ready to commit however he also told me to do me so that is what am doing dating seeing what out there but it is not in my comfort zone but sister girl is having so much fun.  Its so nice to be treated like a lady and having safe fun. No lover yet but I m learning to take it slow get to know a man first.  I was married for 20 yrs and how i meet my ex  was at the lib ray through a mutual friend and he moved in with me the same day which I told Dre.  He thought I was joking but it is true  love and lust at first sight plus i was 21.  So ladies I am having so much fun now I must get caught up with my graduate class I hear the fire works and miss my son so now I am going to call my teddy bear Dre and talk I miss him too.  Be blessed Sister girl out....

Life is so good right now I am a summer babi with my birthday coming I am going out like crazy I love NYC in the summer ps at night.  Well I went out this Friday that just past I meet to guy both younger then me I have to stop asking guys their age.  Well let's just say I am in cougar zone David is 16 yrs younger and he said he thought I was 28.  I get that alot with my son when we go out most people think I am either his sister or my boyfriend my son is 20.  Well we dance and he was such a gentleman all night we hung out I drink ed he brought and he does not drink alcohol.  I am meeting more men that do not drink Andre now him.  He has a body of an action star about my height 5'8 he maybe 5'9" yet he did not have a problem with me in my high wedges.  Guys he is single has a job and the biggie no kids from Congo been in Us for 11 yrs.  So he called me in the morning but sister girl was a sleep.  I went to NYC with an old GF she was ready to go home 330am so I dropped he off and meet up with Andre at his truck stayed with him until 7 am then I had to head back home because my son had to be to work boo hoo.  I slepted in his truck he's a trucker for a few.  He is the guy that I want to be in a relationship but he told me he needs to take it slow so why that is going on I am dating meeting but no sex with anyone yet.  I have to keep my head clear and sex messes me up.  I am a very sexual person so I keep my panties on lol.  At least for now who now especially since I am so turned on by David I hope to see him when I go to Harlem Friday which is my birthday 43.  Wow I remember my mom beening this age and thinking dam she is old lol.  But let me tell it's a beautiful thing to be
African American because we tend to age so well.  I m always told how much younger I look and now that 103 pounds is off my body I am told that even more, holler.  Life is good I am so blessed.  At one time I was scared to even dream of this day because I failed at so many diets but now i am doing it one day at a time.  I am winning and feeling health....Be Blessed, Sister girl....

Today I see life is not going to go the way I want just because I am losing this extra person I ve carried with me as long as I remember.

 Now I am fearful that once I get to my goal I will not know how to live in this new body crazy as this might sound.  Has anyone gone through this once they lose the weight?  Now I feel like my support system my cousin is not willing to offer me support because as she said she is tired of hearing me talk about going to the gym and what I eat.   Yet she herself has a weight problem all her life too.  So what a sister to do I am not stopping I want to be healthy and sexy once before I die. So there it is life my life.  Class (grad school) start today to so back on my grind lol...I am dating but its hard out there for a black woman so I am taking it slow. 

Hi everyone it's almost been a month since I been on here blogging.  Its been going really well I've lost 98 lbs so far and working out like a mad man but I love I love the results.  I started going to Zumba classes once a week an hitting the Gym 4 days a week.  I been eating really well for the most part.  Yesterday I had  a McDonald breakfast sandwich I was a bad girl but I eat really really well for the rest of the day.  Its been lonely since the weight been coming off family and few friends have told me they really don't want to always talk about weight loss or hitting the gym.  I suspect they are a little jealous of my weight loss because they have not been able to lose weight my favorite cousin Dawne told me she does not want to hear about my exercising.  I would be lying if I said I was not hurt.  I told her that even I meet a new man and its starting slow which is the way I like it.  But I am little fearful of sex because of the extra skin and jiggles.   He is OK for now I can not weight to lose the other 60/80 pounds it crazy to see it really happen.  But I am not stopping for no one I want to be sexy once in my life by my standards.  Well I am out living my life and thank god for the surgery it is my tool that helped save me from me.