4 days and counting...

Jul 12, 2010

Hello everyone!

I thought it was about time to take pen to paper so to speak. I am scheduled to have surgery on July 15th, 2010. I'm more excitedly nervous than real nerves. I had a hip replacement surgery almost two years ago and came through that well, so I am hoping the surgery will go just as smoothly. I am in good health so, it is the perfect time to do this! Why wait more miserable years and risk all the health problems I know are coming. The "yets" are plaguing me...

I don't have diabetes....yet.
I don't have high cholesterol...yet.
I don't have high blood pressure...yet.
I don't have heart disease...yet.
And so many more...

I am so ready to start my new life. It really does feel like being reborn in a way. I remember when I had my son 6 years ago...I remember thinking how clean and pure this new life was. How innocent. I wanted to be so careful to treat it (the life and body) with respect. I nursed him for almost 3 years in hopes of giving him a good solid nutritional foundation to start from. When he started eating, I made his baby food. I wanted to keep him as pure and clean as I could. He is so healthy today. He eats too much sugar and we constantly monitor that, but he is a very healthy vibrant little boy.

I want to treat my new stomach like that. I want to care for it and nurture it. I feel like I am getting a chance to start over. I intend to take full advantage of this tool I have been lucky enough to get to use!

Am I concerned? Worried? Scared? Sure a little. I am concerned about excess skin. I am concerned about being one of the few that this tool doesn't work for at all. I am concerned about my body changing and my partner not liking the changes. I'm lucky to be with someone who loves my body now. He is very supportive because he wants me healthier and around to be with him longer but he loves my curves. I keep reassuring him, I will always be curvy...but what if???

I'm concerned about my hair falling out. I keep thinking of this first year as "it will get worse before it gets better". I want to prepare my mind that even though weight loss should occur, my body is going to be in a pretty unhealthy state for awhile. I would imagine I might feel fatigued, look sickly, etc. So, I am trying to prepare myself mentally. I'm ok with that and recognize as our bodies adjust to the weight loss, our health increases and we will start to feel and look better! Just trying to keep myself realistic!

I've also been trying to focus on attainable goals. The goal weight my doctor set is much lower than I had anticipated. I would love to reach that goal but want to feel successful even if I lose only 60% of my weight. I've read that most people lose between 60-80% of their excess weight. So, I think it is conservative to think of the 60% and focus on that as my first goal. I may need help remembering that I intend to be pleased with that marker!!! That amount is approximately 110 pounds with 142 being around 80%. I will be super excited to lose 100 pounds. It's mind-boggling to even say that. How can I possibly be OVER 100 pounds OVERWEIGHT??? Good grief! ANd then to think of losing that amount! Whew! Let's get this started already!  :)

So, I'm trying very hard to connect on here and make some contacts. I find other people's stories motivating almost as much as before and after pics. I'll get some before pics posted this week. I've done all of my measurements. What am I forgetting? WHat else did people do before surgery they think I should consider? Or what did you NOT do you wish you had? My therapist suggested I write myself a letter to open in 6 months and one in a year. I haven't done that yet. Will do it this week...the clock is ticking...

Thanks for listening...

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