To start...

Aug 05, 2012

An introduction to myself.  Ideally, I am a 5'5" 155 pound bubbly person that is outgoing and fun to be around.  Truthfully, I am a 5'5" 305 pound person that puts on a bubbly personality to help hide the fact that I am obese. 
When I was 20 years old I was 130 lbs and realtively fit, now that I'm 43 and life has taken it's tole, I can't even look at myself in the mirror.  I get a glimpse of myself in a store window and am disgusted with what I see.
I can't keep up with my kids, I sweat doing housework, nothing fits me anymore.  I don't want to be this person.

My history...
Dated a guy when I was 16 who was insecure so he fed me fast food.  Years later it was brought to my attention that he was feeding me to make me fat, so that I wouldn't feel comfortable leaving him.  Then, typically, a bad marriage and children put pounds upon pounds on.  I know now that food was my comfort and the only thing that I could count on.  Years of "do you think you need a second helping?" turned into 'damn straight', just because I didn't like being told what to do.  It was a form of rebellion.  Then came an accident that prohibited me from daily activities; walking became a painful thing to do, stairs were almost impossible.  I used to hike with the kids, now I'm lucky to walk to the corner without getting winded.

Now...
My health is an issue.  I am using a CPAP machine, on meds for blood pressure and anxiety as well as anti-depressants.  Acne is an issue, which I'd never had before and skin tags are forming.  This is NOT who I want to be.

Getting help....
I went to a doctor because I was experiencing a bought of depression - he blankly told me "you need to lose weight".  Slap in the face - yes, I knew I needed to lose weight, but to be told by a 'walk-in' doctor.  That sure was a wake up call.  He suggested that I find a doctor, and have them recommend me for gastric by-pass.   

On a road....
I've gone through all the paperwork, testing, testing and more testing and am now just waiting to meet the surgeon and book the surgery.

I'm looking to find a few people that are going/have gone through Roux-en-Y surgery that I can chat with and would be a support system for me. 

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