TraceyM45

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So we had a luncheon at Red Lobster today for my son's 26th birthday, it was really nice and great to all be together.  I thought I was feeling pretty good about being down 80lbs until I saw some pictures we took today and they were not great.  I still feel like the elephant in the room and that I have so far to go....I guess with everyone noticing the weight loss I am more aware of what I look like all of the time and it's hard not to like what I see. 

I feel like I need to work harder now to try to get to a place where I can be comfortable with me.

Had my 3 month follow up today, have lost a total of 80lbs from my highest and 68 from the start of optifast.  The clinic's goal is 181-220lbs, so I am currently at their high end goal.. I told Vanessa (ApN) that I had a personal goal of 150lbs.  She pretty much told me it was unlikely that I would get there based on their statistics.  Pooh, I think I shall prove them wrong and be the exception to that rule.  Nothing like a throw down challenge to fire one up.

My blood work numbers were all excellent with the exception of my iron which is "depleted" so now I am taking iron and vitamin c at night for the next three months to see if it brings the numbers back.  I have always had low iron but according to Vanessa the number is so low if I needed to generate red blood cells I don't have enough iron in my body to do it....supplement it is.

Need to go to a store and try on some clothes things are falling off, thank god for the bag of clothes my daughter gave me or I wouldn't be able to leave the house. 

I'm up to 2km walking a day (weather permitting) and want to add yoga and more consistant strength training.  Otherwise things are good, still battling some food taste issues but am very happy that I went through with this. 

Well I survived!  Had my surgery on Friday November 4th, 2011 with Dr. Yelle at the Ottawa Civic.  The team of doctors and nurses were terrific, very kind and always looking to see how they could make my experience better. 

During the surgery Dr. Yelle discovered a hernia that he referred to as rare approximately 5% of the hernias ever seen are like mine and since it was pressing on my aorta he fixed it while in there. 

I had a fair amount of nauseau, dry heaves and sleeplessness for the first few days.  I kept walking, sipping and taking my meds as needed and left for home on Sunday.  One of the things that freaked me out was having 4 extreme liquid brown stools on Sunday morning. Like my body was purging of all the toxins.  Hasn't happened since which I am grateful for.  Recovery is slow, I am sipping water, taking my vitamins and getting 60g of protien in (even if I have to force myself to do it).   Getting in and out of bed is the worst and I have had a laugh that if I drop something on the floor it stays there because I can't bend down to pick it up. 

My highest weight of 2011 was 297, pre-surgical consent day 286.5, surgery day 268.4 and today it is 258.  Crazy how fast it drops off not that I am complaining.  Probable a good thing that winter is coming because I will need to buy all new closet by spring and need the time to save up. 

My bff Denise, friends Kathy and Donna have been very supportive along with my daughters.  I only spoke to my sister in law once and my friend Angel not at all...they appear to be of the "it's the easy way out club".  Too bad, I have always thought they were higher thinkers than that.  My son has not called or checked in to see how I am, it is very sad that he doesn't care enough to ask or just say hi.  Some day he will come around, I hope.

Well I'm pooped need a rest and some water time. 

So I've gone from patiently waiting to starting optifast tomorrow.  Surgery in three weeks.  Pretty happy, a little scared and very hopeful that I will succeed. 

Kinda nervous, but more releived to know that after this appointment I only have the class and surgeon to get my date...yeah!

Called Ottawa today to see when I could expect my next appointment and thereceptionist told me another 4 weeks that they were working on early Feb. appointments now.  That means 10 weeks from orientation I should have an nurse appointment...good thing I'm not holding my breath!

It's the waiting that gets to me, and many others from what I read on the daily posts.  I have been waiting five weeks now for the next appointment which should be with the nurse.  Other centres seem to go quicker and some the same pace...I wonder that they couldn't come up with a standardized system like HRRH uses and send out the list of appointments after you sign your form at orientation.  Their system seems to be working and people are flying through.  I do realize that there are far more surgeons there but pre-booking appears to be working and I bet it significantly reduces the number of calls from people wanting to know what happens next.

My daughter will be going through HRRH and by the look of things will be on the bench a couple of months ahead of me.  I estimate that it will have taken two years from the time I started this process to the day I enter the operating room.  If I am not prepared by that time I never will be.  All I know is I really don't want to wear the ugly black tent coat next winter!!!!! 

So, since going to the orientation in Ottawa on Valentine's Day, I feel much calmer.  I know that I will be on the bench 4-6 months from now and I am excited and ready to get some changes going. 

I have picked up and started taking the Vitamin D as recommended at orientation, started drinking more water, a little walking and have switched out my coffee to half/calf, in another week or so I will go to decaf.  Getting rid of the coffee will help during the optifast stage no withdrawl headaches etc.
 
Over the next few months I will clear out the cupboards, pick up the things I will need to have in the house. Do some menu research and I will have to practice sipping, and chewing slowly. 

Lots to do!

I received my letter to attend the orientation session at Ottawa Civic and will be going to the 1pm clss Feb 14,2011.

So, another week starts...waiting is hell, I just want to be in the process not watching from the sidelines..

My bmi is 46 can't anyone see I need help!  I want a life, free of the pain inside and out. 

Vision board thinking: "I know I will get the call for orientation this week"

That is all.