How have I used excess food to escape life's problems?

Feb 09, 2013

 

I have used food to reward, console, medicate, punish, and numb myself.  Food is what I use to take my mind off situations in my life I don't have the emotional capacity to handle.  It softens the blow of life's little disappointments.  Another thing I use food for is to blanket my fears.  I'm so afraid to go after some of my dreams so I play it safe. Instead of dealing with a bad relationship I ate "because I deserved it."  I drowned my thoughts of disappointment with food.  Mostly disappointment in myself.   I am disappointed I let my finances get out of control, that I let myself gain so much weight, that I'm not a more charismatic person, that I'm not doing anything worthwhile with my life.  So much negativity is swimming around in my head that I use food as a distraction.  And it inadvertently makes my life MORE difficult.  That is the greatest irony.  The more I fall off track with healthy eating habits, the more I feel like a failure, and then the more I need food as a crutch. 

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