just some thoughts... crazy i KNOW!

Jan 30, 2010

Havent stepped on the scale since the 25th and I have decided, I am not going to do so until V-Day.... no special reason just something to do... I have been lookin at pics on here and am growing exicted as to what is to come over the next few months... I am nervous however. Its crazy to even have this thought, but Im worried about looking too skinny.  Last night, I was playing telefunky... a card game... with my gma, mom had rny, myuncle-had lapband, and a bunch of other relatives. My uncle said..."wow Amber, you collar bone looks awesome!"  I said thanks! I have a neck LOL and smiled... later on when I got home, I showered and wrapped the towel around my body...*Makes me happy to say ... wrapped the towel around my body... lol and it actually closes*  Anyway... I stood in the mirror and began to examine my progress. I am so pleased that my stomach is starting to flatten and it seems as if the rolls are slowly working themselves away...  but I did look at my neck... which is very visable... lol bones and all and I started to get nervous! Although I still weigh 200+ I am worried about becoming too skinny!!!!!!!
 (I just woke up lol and decided to take this pic... my chin is tilted back lol so I dont really have such a giraffe neck lol )
My boyfriend of 5 years and I broke up this past September and things have been really rough for me... lots of things happened in those years that its hard to walk away and forget. I have found myself becoming stronger in the past month than I have been in all those years... I am able to look at things in a whole different lite... its takin me an awful long time to start to be comfortable with myself and thanks to this weight loss I am... But as I stated above, will I know when to stop? Will I look sick or emaciated?  Nervous and excited for the future... guess I just have to take it one day at a time! 

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