VOLUPTUMISS1223

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Hey everyone! I feel like its been ages since I have been on here... its been kind of a crazy hectic beginning to 2011... lots of changes in my life... I was stuck at 218 for the the longest time, and finally got down to 208-210.... but even there I was stuck for a long period of time. I couldnt exercise like I wanted too because I had this terrible pain in my side... and awful shoulder pain... kinda felt like the gas pain right after surgery. It would hit me out of no where!!!!! Well In March, I had exploratory surgery and they found scar tissue, which was removed and put me on nexium! I lost a few lbs... got down to 205 solid... and I could eat just about ANYTHING! So, I in May I went for my first fill in 5 months *crazy* and in 30 days I have lost almost 20 lbs... SO IM HAPPY... WORE A DRESS OUT FOR THE FIRST TIME EVEEEEEEEEEEER lol and ladies and gentleman... IM BAAAAAAAAAAAACK!!!!!!

So I have the implanon and have been trying real hard to lose these last 30 lbs but I cant! No matter what I do, I have had difficutly since I got the implant. Could this be my problem???? OHHHHH BTW Im looking for twitter followers.... mullatomami I miss yall!!!! 

I decided to train for a 5k! Any advice on what the best way to go about it!?

Feel like an emotional wreck lately!!!!!!!!!!! I am 24 years old... with a tool that is going to help me jump start a new life... why am I miserable????? I have not been to the gym in weeks! YES I SAID WEEKS! 2 to be exact! I have had such a lack of motivation! This has been going on for a month now! I need some motivation. I have had such a hard time trying not feel sorry for myself lately but all I do is sit back and say... well you are a good person...and you dont deserve to be mistreated... yet I allow myself to be mistreated over... and over again... its like a neverending ride... BUT IM  SOOOOOO READY TO GET OFF!!!!!!!! As you all know my boyfriend and I of 5 years broke up a few months ago. Right before my surgery... and now that we arent together...hes doing the things I wish he would have done when we were together... for example.... I am an outgoing person... I like to party... be around people... he is the opposite.. he is content watching sports all day... typical male... anyway... when we were together he quit drinking... said it was bad for his body... so when Id ask him to come out with me his response was... I dont drink anymore so it probably wont be that fun...so we wouldnt go... WELL he drinks and parties all the time now.... hmmm wat else... OH... one day... he didnt have his son with him so it was just the 2 of us...I was all excited because rarely do we get "us" time... so anyway we got our time and I was all excited.... WHY did he sit on the couch and play his video game... and me... I sat on the couch and played a game on my phone. When I said lets do something together... he said " what do you mean we are doing something together" !    THIS IS JUST A VENT BLOG... Why do I evern care about this guy so much!!!!??? He makes it clear life is GRAND with me gone so... WHY AM I NOT AT THE GYM! WHY AM I NOT RUNNING! WHY... AM I NOT LOSING THIS WEIGHT!!!!!! I have made every excuse in the book as to why I cant  go... So... sorry for just ranting... I had to get it out... Im gonna go tomorrow! LOL

I am so close to those 14s!!!!!! Goal- 10 lbs by March 20th! Then Ill know I got the 14s in the bag!!!!!!!! It feels so good to be so damn close to onderland. After these 10 lbs.. Ill need to loose 11 more then... I AM THERE!!!!!!!!!!! I AM IN WONDERLAND... 21 LBS TO GO... AND I GOTTA BE MOTIVATED!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SO WISH ME LUCK GUYS ! 

So... I went to the doctors yesterday...and the nurse wanted to take my blood pressure. For the first time in a long time she was able to use the regular sized cuff to take it!!! LOL and I also got an EKG so I had to get undressed.  For the first time also in a long time I was able to wear a regular sized gown that I could close the whole way so my heiney wasnt out LOL! I was so excited... and the last NSV for the week is.... lol I am a special education teacher at an alt. school, and I gave my kids some extra gym time because they have just been amazing this week.  We got to play with another class and I played dodgeball *stress relief*. Well we had to wear the pinnys(dont know how to spell that LOL*. I got that old feeling I used to have in highschool where I would just ask the teacher if I could wear it around my neck because I knew when I put it over my head it would be toooo toooo tight and people would make fun of me.   Even around about bunch of elementary students that old feelingcame flodding back!  But I sucked it up, put the damn thing over my head and it actually fit! I was so happy LOL I barely even played the game... just was running back and forth with joy that I could fit the pinny and play with my kids! It was awesome....


I have been stating lately that I have had a lot of stress lately. I am working really hard to get through the drama and still keep positive. I have had such a lack of motivation so... Im going back to basics... Starting tomorrow its gonna be my accountability week. I am going to start keeping track of what I eat in my journal,well not start but continue without breaks *smile* , gym sat and then mon-thursday!  Goal-size 14 by March 31st! Any tips for staying motivated????

 I AM HATING THIS SNOW...I AM SO BORED! 

So, I have realized that I really cant eat certain things! I have gotten so sick in the past 3 days then ever.  Food gets stuck....and the pain is terrible. I try different things but its just not working. Is band too tight? Probably... but I need to learn how to use it this way.... so I have decided..since the snow is up to my thighs....*not looking forward to shoveling* that was going to go back to my soft food diet. I am going to increase my protein intake and drink more water. As much as I dont want to admit it, I have been struggling the last week... emotionally, I have been going through some crazy things and I dont want to be sad... not at this stage in the game. I have to learn to let things go and stop concentrating on the what ifs but on the what is....Just hard...

So I get to work today after a drama filled weekend... just waiting for the BS to end...and I got right to work writing the kids schedule on the board. On of my co workers said... OMG SLIM GOODY... you look wonderful... that made my whole day. So despite the drama at work *dont ever fall for a coworker* LOL I had an overall good day. I have been taking my MV daily.. its GNC womens ultra mega, and I seem to have a lot of energy but the past 3-4 days I have just been exhausted. At the gym yesterday I did my arc training... ran for 15 mins and back muscle training. I got a bit scared because I got out of breath VERY quick. I made an appointment with my PCP fo blood work just to make sure that everythings cool.

On another note, the weight is coming off... I can tell because instead of weighing myself, I am having the nurse at my job take my measurements and she has been charting my progress. So far from my waist, hips and bust I have lost a total of 17.5 inches! Im so darned proud of myself! 

Looking forward to warmer months so that I can ride a roller coaster at Hershey Park and not look around infront of me to make sure that there is someone bigger and that he/she could fit in the rides.  I used to get so nervous!!!


So despite my tiredness... drama at work... I am doing well... THINKING SPRING!!!

Havent stepped on the scale since the 25th and I have decided, I am not going to do so until V-Day.... no special reason just something to do... I have been lookin at pics on here and am growing exicted as to what is to come over the next few months... I am nervous however. Its crazy to even have this thought, but Im worried about looking too skinny.  Last night, I was playing telefunky... a card game... with my gma, mom had rny, myuncle-had lapband, and a bunch of other relatives. My uncle said..."wow Amber, you collar bone looks awesome!"  I said thanks! I have a neck LOL and smiled... later on when I got home, I showered and wrapped the towel around my body...*Makes me happy to say ... wrapped the towel around my body... lol and it actually closes*  Anyway... I stood in the mirror and began to examine my progress. I am so pleased that my stomach is starting to flatten and it seems as if the rolls are slowly working themselves away...  but I did look at my neck... which is very visable... lol bones and all and I started to get nervous! Although I still weigh 200+ I am worried about becoming too skinny!!!!!!!
 (I just woke up lol and decided to take this pic... my chin is tilted back lol so I dont really have such a giraffe neck lol )
My boyfriend of 5 years and I broke up this past September and things have been really rough for me... lots of things happened in those years that its hard to walk away and forget. I have found myself becoming stronger in the past month than I have been in all those years... I am able to look at things in a whole different lite... its takin me an awful long time to start to be comfortable with myself and thanks to this weight loss I am... But as I stated above, will I know when to stop? Will I look sick or emaciated?  Nervous and excited for the future... guess I just have to take it one day at a time!