Question:
How should concerned coworkers react to your weight?
The Association for Morbid Obesity Support (that's Us, folks!) will be compiling a booklet on workplace obesity sensitivity to be distributed to major employers. Would you like to contribute? If so, please answer this specific question (there will be several similar questions) : I am a concerned coworker. I notice how you have trouble sometimes moving about. Sometimes I feel like maybe helping you up out of a chair or picking up stuff up for you if it falls off your desk, but I never do, because I'm afraid it might offend you. How should I react? — ericklein (posted on May 10, 1999)
May 10, 1999
Any smart company will want to support a valued employee but when it comes
to policy many are skittish and worry about fairness and special treatment.
However, it makes sense to offer ergonomically sensible chairs and desks
and work environment, without getting into major design disruption. Good
manners are always appropriate. So offering to help (carry, hold a door,
pick up a fallen object). No need to make a special occasion of it or call
attention to someone's difficulty. But helping is better than ignoring as
long as it's not made a big to do and embarrasses the fat employee. Other
than that a sensitive company and sensitive coworkers would be wise to
discourage fat jokes or remarks just as they would any other prejudice. And
make sure all employees know that if they have a problem or some
difficulty, you can discuss it and talk it over and look for a solution
without making a Federal case. great questions. thanks for asking it
Susan
— Susan C.
May 10, 1999
The major concern that I have always had was when meeting in a conference
room or cafeteria or staff room to have chairs that have no arms on them.
It is highly offensive for an large person to have to squeeze themselves
into a chair they know they can not fit. And then to have to sit there
through an hour or so meeting with their circulation being cut off. Its
wrong.
Each person is different. Proper ways to treat and obese person begins
with a SINCERE respect for all people. Treat us like you desire to be
treated. Good Health. Sheila
— Sheila W.
May 11, 1999
testing, testing
— ericklein
May 11, 1999
Since I consider myself "just like everyone else" I prefer to be
treated as such...no special treatment. I don't like calling attention to
my weight...it's already obvious.
— Barbara W.
May 13, 1999
Hi Eric,
I work for a company with a very active "Diversity" department
They train employees to see "inside" the people who are
different
than us. They have never included overweight, to my knowledge.
I bet they would love your booklet. Do you plan on distributing
toward the Boston Area? [email protected]
— Audrey C.
June 4, 1999
Obesity is not contagious. Other than that, co-workers should treat one
another with respect and courtesy regardless of age, race, gender, sexual
orientation or size. Don't ask me foolish questions that you would not ask
an extremely short person, a deformed person, a physically disabled person,
a tall person. It is just as rude to ask me as it is them.
— Sandi L.
June 28, 1999
Obesity does not mean that we are of low or no intelligence.
Do not treat us as such. Overeating is an addiction just like
the others (alcoholism, drugs, nicotine, etc)with one exception.
We cannot just quit eating. We have to eat. Obesity is not a
character flaw. Don't judge us unless you can say that you
have walked in our shoes.
— Linda M.
June 30, 1999
This is a difficult issue to be sure. Let me answer by saying this,
Obesity does not equal deafness. Do not throw stones at me if you do not
want them to be thrown at you. Are you bald? Are you crosseyed? Do you
have something different about you? Do not condem the differences in me
unless you want the same condemnation about your flaws. We are all human
as imperfect as that makes us. Be kind to others as you want them to be
kind to you. But do not be overly kind or overly helpful that can and
often will cause more uncomfertable situations than not helping at all.
Most importantly judge me on the size of my heart my mind and the size of
my contributions to the work place, not on the size of my belt. Or perhaps
the best way to sum this up is to quote "Judge not lest ye be
judged". Life with out diversity is stagnation! enjoy the diversity!
— Damien N.
July 1, 1999
I have been employed at my job for almost 15 years. The people here have
been wonderful towards me, very caring and considerate. One thing is that
I am open with them about my weight, and discuss any diet I may be trying,
successes and failures (more of the latter) and also my current journey to
WLS. I am touched when a co-worker offers to walk somewhere for me, or
pick up something I drop...or even accomodate me with an armless chair in a
meeting. I would be much more upset if they ignored me! The main thing
that I feel employers need to do is base the employee's merits on their job
performance...NOT their size! That is the most important thing to me.
— Cindy Lou C.
July 2, 1999
Where I am employed now is great. People do not treat me any
differently than anyone of normal weight. However, my prior
job was a totally different experience. I worked for an
insurance company in the workers' compensation department. I
would constantly hear the adjudicators commenting on different
claims saying such things as, "Well, if tubbo would drop some
flab she probably wouldn't have knee problems!" or "She's only
5'4" tall and weighs 190lbs. Can you say S-H-A-M-U?" I weight
well over 190 at that point at the same height. I was so self
conscientous that I was miserable the whole 4 years I worked
there. Thank the Lord, I got out of there. So, I have one
comment to co-workers - If it's rude to discuss an alcholic or drug
addicts problems, it's rude to talk about an overweight
person's problemsm, also. Show some sort of compassion, even if
you don't have a clue as to what we're going through. We're
overweight, not stupid and dense.
were very judgemental toward the overweight person. They would
make insulting comments regarding weight
— Vicki C.
August 1, 1999
All employers should make an effort to accomodate an employee's physical
differences. My employer is wonderful. When I was hired, the HR Director
ordered a larger-sized office chair before I started my job, so that when I
arrived there were no embarrasing moments... now THAT'S considerate!
— Kim H.
September 18, 1999
This is a good one to answer...though I feel the question cited is an
example not often encountered. From my experience, and that of others I
know, the prejudice comes in the form of looks, comments and attitudes..all
of which show a high level of intolerance. From intolerance comes
assumptions...thoughts and feelings that due to our weight, we are
unmotivated and completely lacking in self respect. I see it this way...we
have an addiction/disease that is highly visible..one from which we cannot
easily step away from. ( Not like alcohol or drugs....they can appear
unaddicted...) W e cannot...we carry it around like a badge....does this
mean we are open targets? Does this justify jokes or rude comments that
devalue us? What if they wore tags that broadcasted their weaknesses or
severe personality flaws..would they be so quick to ridicule? Until
obesity is seen as a disease and not a choice one settles on, society will
continue to pass on the frame of mind that it is OK to treat obese people
poorly. Do they think we woke up one day and decided, " I want to
gain a great deal of weight...oh, yeah..I want to not fit in regular
sizes..I don't want to fit in a booth at the diner..". Come on! This
is nonsense....why do we let people talk like that to us ? As I have
gotten older, I realize the value of the spoken word..not only can it cut
deep, it can enlighten. Just the other day , at a diner , I requested a
table ( knowing the both was uncomfortable to squeeze into)..after waiting
20 minutes I asked her if my wait would be much longer. She responded,
" You wouldn't have to wait so long if you could fit into a booth..we
have 9 booths empty." At first I was humiliated...years ago I would
have walked out...well I said, " That was uncalled for and quite small
minded of you. May I please speak to your manager?" All in all, the
manager- all 280 or so pounds of him- felt horrible and I never saw that
hostess there again. To this day the manager has made it his business to
inform his employees of the incident to increase their awareness...speak as
quickly as they do and you will be heard..
— Jackie S.
October 21, 1999
I have worked for the same company for eight years. When I was hired I was
overweight. I probably weighed 230 when I was hired. My high weight was
260. I began to diet and struggled myself down to 120 pounds. I have had
the same boss in all these eight years too. He didn't even introduce
himself to me until after I had lost all the weight. He was sure I was a
"new" employee. I was promoted from a back-office area to a
public relations, government affairs and media interview job. I had that
job for two years. After the first year my weight started to creep up just
a little bit. I was at 140 pounds when the fat comments started to happen
again. In the final months it was miserable. Suddenly the meeting started
to transfer me into back into the department I had come out of. I felt in
my heart that this was all weight related, because I knew it was not
performance based. My suspicions were confirmed when I found a
"confidential memo" from my boss to the president of our company
indicating that I was not the right "image" to be projecting and
representing our company. At this point I had not even reached 200 pounds.
I am 2 weeks post op, my high weight this time was 248. I am actively
seeking to leave this company. I did photocopy that memo, and do plan to
use it in descrimination proceeding once I have left. Companies should be
very away of what they say and certainly what they write.
— Bridget M.
November 19, 1999
I worked for the Girl Scouts of the USA for 9 years it was a very public
job and I was always a very hard worker and always put my job before my
personal life.Then We had a change of executive directors and my life was
made a living hell. My ed looked at me with such dissaproval and I had more
that I can count talks about how my weight was a problem for my
job.....things said could have been taken as harrasment and hurt me so
deeply that those scars may never heal... I started trying to do anything
to "over come her hate by trying to be the best at everything"
and I burnt myself out trying to prove I could do and be better everyone or
the skinny people in my office. My work suffered and my self estem
suffered, I was also medically making myself sick. I left the Girl Scouts
using my upcoming wedding as a way out of the hell my job had become. And
you know I found a new job were my work is looked at for what I do not how
I look. I am now a trainer for the sales force for a computer network
company and I have never been happier. My office is being so supportive of
my upcoming surgery. My husband and my counslor have repeatly wanted me to
sue my former employer.... but for me I am so much above that and replaying
those past 3 years of my job is something I do not want to live through
again it is behind me and I have grown so much stronger. Never let someone
look at you and judge you nor make your self have to prove your worth
because your happen to weigh more. If some one has that attitude it is
their problem and is breaking the law if they cross the lines by making it
an issue or making it reasons for letting you go. Talk to a counslor and
get help... It took me 3 years of painful loss of self esteem to make the
break and to move on. The skills you have are valuable and if they cannot
see it , it is there loss and you can go elsewhere. Be true to yourself and
you will go far. Coleen Moore 11-19-99
— Coleen M.
November 26, 1999
Well, first of all let me tell you I am overweight by 160 pounds. If I
drop something and someone offers to pick it up and they get to it before
me I just say thank you. I really don't take that as "your too fat to
pick it up so let me, a skinny person, pick it up for you." If I need
help I will ask for it. Just treat overweight people like you would treat
anyone else or how you would like to be treated if the situation were
reversed.
— Kathy W.
November 26, 1999
Weeeelll, this is a toughie. How would one approach a co-worker that has
cancer, or has any other terminal disease or disorder? I feel unless you
and that person already share "that" kind of relationship, this
is a hard one to call. It is very well known by all of my friends, family
and co-workers that I am VERY moble and agile, so this doesn't come up as
frequently as it would with someone who is obviously having a hard time. I
think before anything is said, a person should "feel" out the
person before assuming they need help, first of all. I mean, if someone
were to come up to me to ask me do I need help, they would probably go away
with their ears burning!!! Seriously, I know I am a rare breed, but don't
assume because we are overweight, we can't get in and out of a car, or we
can't bend over. That's just plain stupid. I am 422 lbs, and I bend over
QUITE well thank you. And sometimes, things like that are said out of
ignorance, rather than spite. When this happens, I just make it my
business to be the one to give them the facts, than to let them continue
along on the same ignorant path they were following. As far as those that
are having these rude people make intentional, nasty comments...well, I
won't say exactly what I would do, but demand respect form EVERYONE, and
that is what you will get!!! Love to you all!!!
— tipdawg1
March 24, 2000
I don't have an answer, but I would like to relay a story to you. Four
years ago, I was hired by a local school systerm in Alabama as a Math
teacher. At that time, I weighed about 500 pounds. I told my principal at
the interview that I was going through a difficult time and was sensitive
about my weight. I told him that I would not tolerate comments from
students and I certainly wouldn't tolerate insults from adults. (I've been
overweight all of my life and knew the attitude most people have towards
obese people). The principal said if anything like that happens then
"I will handle it". Well, there was a woman at the school who
was about 22 years old and everyday she made some comment about my weight
or some kind of weight related insult. Well, I began to see a physician
and began to take Redux and my weight started to drop. I was exercising
about 2-3 hours a day and eating 1200 calories a day. Most days I was
exhausted from the sheer willpower of forcing myself to exercise and
forcing myself not to eat. Anyway, this girl kept making these comments
everytime I would see her. And, she didn't limit herself to me. She began
to make comments about my father, who she didn't know, and he happens to be
dieing from Alzheimer's. Anyway, I went to the entire administrative staff
at my school including the principal who hired me and asked for help with
this situation. I was ignored or told that I didn't have thick enough skin
and I was too emotional and too sensitive. Well, I had finally reached my
limit with this girl so I chewed her out. I said somethings I shouldn't
have said, but it was 4:00 in the afternoon and no students were around.
It became a big mess and no one could understand why I had to say anything
to her. I got in big trouble and they acted like I had killed someone.
Well, the next year when school started someone left a dead rat in my
classroom. Then, someone started going through a locked room and writing
comments on my board such as "There ought to be a special school for
fat people". "We don't want fat people like you here." I
went to my principal and his suggestion was that I go see a Social Worker.
Later, someone took a women's dress catalog with no address on it,
highlighted the part that said sizes 60 and up and put it in my mailbox at
school. My principal said that there was a student who had it in for me.
Later, someone wrote on my classroom door that I was a 500 pound cow. Over
$200 in workbooks and supplies went missing from my room. All of these
were blamed on a student, but no effort was made to find the student.
Important information and forms would disappear from my box. In Alabama,
if a teacher is nonrenewed for the next school year (and she can be
nonrenewed without reason until the start of her 4th year)she is given a
dismissal notice called a "pink slip". During the school year,
someone placed a pink slip in my box as a joke. My principal never made
any effort to find out who was doing these things to me. Each time that I
complained, he became aggravated with me for being emotional and his
recommendation was that I continue to see the social worker. Even when I
went to him with suggestions as to what could be done, he was condesending
to me and he thought my ideas were ridiculus. At the end of my third year,
I was terminated from my position and I was forced to find another job.
Although I am relatively happy with my job, I now have a 1 1/2 hour commute
each day. The scars from my experience at the previous school remain.
It's like a bad marriage and I can't get rid of my former spouse. Each
time I apply for a job, I have to explain why I was terminated as a 3rd
year teacher. Then, I have to hope that the person I'm explaining this to
is sympathetic to my plight. I'm sure that there were things in this
situation that I could have handled better and I can even deal with losing
my job. What upsets me most is that I went through that entire situation
at that school all by myself. I didn't have any support from any staff or
professional in the building. My family was supportive, but family can only
do so much. I got no support from the Central Office even though I had
called the personnel director, assistant superintendent and superintendent.
Regardless, I am one heck of a teacher. The kids were crazy about me.
Their parents called and requested my reinstatement. The kids circulated a
petition. Even though I'm not teaching in that school system I tutor about
14 students who attend school in that system. Also, the young woman who
continually made comments about me still has her position in the school
system and I have to continue to explain that I really am a nice person and
easy to get along with. I lost my temper once in my life and I've paid
dearly for it. I shouldn't had to lose my job. I don't know what I could
have done to make these people less insensitive to the plight of overweight
people. However, something has to be done. We are the only group of
people who can acceptably be discriminated against. I don't care what
anyone says, abuse, harrassment, and discrimination hurt regardless of the
reason. In my case it was especially painful because I was working so hard
to lose weight. Unfortunately, I know that there are others out there who
have been through similar experiences. I would like to know how I can put
this behind me and go on with my life.
— Pamela W.
March 24, 2000
As to the directed post about people assisting us large people, I have
absolutely no shame attached to my size. I HAVE dropped things under my
desk and have asked for assistance, stating, "I took a vow to never
bend over again in public in 1992, would you please get that for me?"
I asked my new employer for a chair without arms or a wider chair. I got
it. I huff and puff terribly after climbing the stairs to the conference
room, so I pause in the hall before going into a meeting: mostly so I don't
disrupt it by causing people alarm. Many people have simply expressed
concern for my well-being. And, for that, I am grateful. I can poke fun
at myself and be self depracating, without manifesting a low self esteem.
As a result, people are mostly comfortable around me. As a matter of fact,
after a while, they just seem to want to come up and squeeze me with hugs
like I am some kind of fat, adorable baby.... So, bring on any assistance
desired. As for Pam and that school district: can you spell l-a-w-y-e-r?
Does the term "hostile work environment" seem appropriate? How
about "pattern of management disregard for acts of harassment"?
I doan know nuthin' bout Mississippi, but dat dog woan hunt in
Michigan....Fondly,
— merri B.
May 25, 2000
Obesity discrimination is probably the only politically correct
discrimination left! It is rampant in the workplace, as well as in social
life! It is incomprehensible how people can judge so harshly on such a
meaningless indicator! How should you treat me?
I want to be treated just like everyone else. That's all! I want to be
treated fair and to NOT be judged immediately by just looking at me.My
weight is NOT an indicator of my personna! It is not an indicator of my
performance! If anything, I am an overachiever, because I feel I have to
prove something constantly! When is America going to wake up, and quit
being so snobbish!
— [Anonymous]
June 6, 2000
I have just been laid off from a job that I had for 5 years. I was one of
the producers, having brought in about 25% of the revenue for the duration.
I was promoted several times, and nearly tripled my income. When my
position was returned to the vendor, I lasted 3 months. Was it my size?
No...I was no longer able to generate revenue and had a high salary. It
was a business decision. The company, in fact, employed several large
people, and it was quite the joke that the conference room chairs were not
substantial to hold us. I do know of one case where they ordered a
reinforced chair for one of my co-workers. What stands out most is that we
all accepted our size, were able to laugh about it. I sincerely believe
that your attitude is what counts. If you walk around with a chip on your
shoulder, people will target your weaknesses. And for us, that's our
weight.
— Allie B.
July 14, 2000
Don't tell me about the great new diet that you are on. Don't tell me how
fat you are getting when you weigh 130. Don't ask me to join the
triathelete's group. Don't assume that a large body equals a small
brain. Do judge me based on my work. Do ask me to your parties. Do be
my friend. I am a wonderful person, not a dress size.
— [Anonymous]
July 19, 2000
This is the kind of question that a fat person HATES!! It drives me nuts
that people equate size with capability. I have been blessed with a boss
and co-workers that DO NOT! They know that I can do what they can do, and
have shown them, I work in the package delivery industry, and can load
packages just as fast, and just as efficiently at 300+ as someone who
weighs 160. My boss has never placed my size or those of anyone else
(regardless of size) above our capabilities. In fact he is my largest fan
for my having had this surgery!
— Elizabeth W.
August 2, 2000
I don't find this question to be at all offensive. I think it comes from a
sense of caring and concern! I have alot of coworkers who accept me for
who I am and are for the most part very understanding. I think that help
up from a chair is a bit much but I drop things all the time and others
gladly volunteer to pick it up for me. You don't know just how much I
appreciate this gesture. Its hard for me to bend over from standing or
sitting positions. I once fell out of my chair here at work while leaning
over to pick something up. Several people ran over to make sure I was
okay. I was a bit embarrassed which is natural but I was also greatly
touched that they cared enough to check on me and continued to the rest of
the day. I must be one of the lucky ones who actually work with wonderful
folks. Also, I don't generally wear my feelings on my sleeves. I've
learned to "toughen up" from years of stares and whispers from
folks who have no manners. I can lose the weight but unfortunately they
are stuck with their personalities. I think that if employers and
coworkers just treat obese individuals with the same respect and concern as
that of a non-obese individual then all will be well.
— Eva M.
November 25, 2000
Gently ask me if I need help. Sometimes I just need you to look the other
way and sometimes your help will be greatfully accepted. Usually, if I drop
something, I'll pick it up. However, if it falls in a hard to reach place,
just say, "let me get that", and I'll really appreciate it.
— Judi R.
January 18, 2001
I think people should treat you like everyone else is being treated,
NORMAL!! I mean if your over weight it's no big seceret (they see what you
look like) but people shouldn't treat you diffrent because of it. To me
that is discrimination not to mention humiliating...
— Kristina G.
February 14, 2001
— Hope S.
February 14, 2001
Eric- I was thin for most of my life and then became obese when I got
pregnant 8 years ago - When I was thin, people went out of their way to be
helpful and nice, picking up things, holding open doors, assisting with
packages, even smiling and being pleasant -- Once I was obese, and often
struggling with 2 small children in a stoller, people ignored me or were
downright rude and even said nasty things to me in front of my children,
allowing doors to slam in front of me, leaving me to pick up stuff by
myself if the kids knocked something over, etc. Helping someone who has
dropped something is a matter of human kindness and politeness not anything
to do with obesity or offending someone. I would help anyone who appeared
to be in need of assistance no matter their size.
— darcieleigh
February 15, 2001
Some people can be ignorant, and some are wonderful, we all know this. When
situations come up at work, or any place else, I think it's all about the
attitude of the person offering to 'help'. Not only have I been overweight
my entire life, but I'm also 5'10. So, I've not only gotten the fat
comments and abuse, but the BIG & fat stuff. I've been bigger, and
smaller, but have always remained darn near 6 foot. No matter how my weight
is, I've still been bigger than every employer that I've had so far. I work
in the healthcare feild, and I think people in that field can be pretty
unforgiving. It's hard to get hired when the employer dosn't think you can
handle things on a physical, or even emotional level. (I've been asked at
an interview if I'm hyper-sensitive). Healthcare professionals also know
the many risks of obesity, and I know alot of wonderful people who are very
caring. I work in a hospital that actually does the surgery, and there is
still so much ignorance among the workers! I think that employers should
hold mandatory tolerace inservices for all employees. This should cover
anything that makes people appear diffrent to others, and should instruct
them how to handle these diffrences, no matter what they are.
We all know that these things should be taught in the home from childhood,
but, unfortunately, we all know that they are often not. Especially now,
these kids and young adults aren't being shown anything of respect for
others, or even them selves! It's too bad that this even needs to be an
issue, but here we are. I feel lucky to have been my full height in 7th
grade, it helped me delovep into who I am, and how I handle the world. Like
anyone who's been born with naturally red hair, or is very short, I've got
thick skin, and a great sense of humor, but I also have learned not to take
any bull from nasty people! So long as the attitude of the person who wants
to help is sincere, I give them a big happy thanks, and give them a hand
next time they need one.
— Danielle G.
March 21, 2001
If you are not there, I still have to get up out of the chair by myself or
pick up things myself. Therefore, don't think I can't do it -- I just do
it with more effort than you do. If you happen to be standing by me, and I
drop something, sure, pick it up. Friends do that sometimes anyhow. But I
might feel self conscious if I was aware that you were doing it because you
thought it was too hard for me.
— [Anonymous]
March 25, 2001
I think anytime you see someone having a hard time it is ok to ask
"can I get that for you?".I have been there and I know that
people wouldn't hesitate to pick up an object if I wasn't heavy. I just
want to know why it is inappropriate to make a comment about someone's skin
color, hair color,age or sex but perfectly alright to comment on their
weight. Is it because we feel that it is something "easily
correctable" and since it is such an obvious thing if the person
doesn't correct it that makes it ok with them for us to comment on it? I
wonder how people would feel if it was someone they love having the
comments thrown at (or whispered behind their backs)? I work in the
healthcare business and lost 185 pounds prior to taking this job. We see
alot of extremely obese persons here and it never ceases to amaze me how
people make comments. I must admit that I do think to myself"how much
easier this would be on this person(whether it is my drawing their blood or
their surgery or using the bedpan or whatever) if they could manage to lose
this weight. But I also know that it isn't all that easy.I am sure the
people I work with that are making those comments wouldn't be so free with
those comments if they knew just a short time ago I was one of those people
they are commenting on. I needed one of those specially made beds because I
weighed 400 pounds, I couldn't sit in a wheelchair because they weren't
equipped,at that hospital with a larger wheelchair, and as clean as I am
about myself, I am sure I had that odor that extremely large people have
when they spend too much time in bed. 3 1/2 years later and it still hurts
and no doubt probably always will.
— Roberta Murray
March 26, 2001
This is silly! So to are some of the responses I have read. Get over it
poeple, obesity is unfortunately a part of who we are but it is not the
defining part unless you choose to allow it to be.
Perhaps I am fortunate. I am able to work very well in a team environment,
which calls for self deprication and confidence at the same moment. Here
is the thing though friends, sucessful people, regardless of their belt
size work well with others. I do not spend a moment considering the
misfortunes of my life, I would much prefer to rejoice in the
accomplishments. Attitude shines though regardless of body size, a poor me
gets the same reaction in a fat guy as in a thin guy, and I give the same
response to both,, get over it! You can either get busy living or get busy
dieing, your choice.
— Damien N.
April 3, 2001
I would love, welcome, and appreciate any assistance offered! I would
never take offense. I would view it as showing compassion for someone less
fortunate. I only wish my co-workers had that compassion!
— Amy O.
June 29, 2001
I wouldnt want help, I would just like for everyone to treat me as they
would a thin person, and not stare.
— [Anonymous]
August 9, 2001
I could see where this could be a concern, but I would not look at it as
offensive. Any "shape/size" person could have problems moving
around and doing certain tasks. I feel that as long as you don't make any
reference to offend the person (whether thin or obese) there should be no
offense taken....just a sign of a compassionate, helpful co-worker.
— Stefanie H.
August 25, 2001
not only am i overweight, but I have really bad spine and lower back
problems. Sooo if anyone helps me by bending for me, i am always
appreciative. maybe your co-worker has the same problem, ask questions. the
power of speech is our biggest asset and we hardly ever use it properly....
— [Anonymous]
September 4, 2001
I wouldn't want special help. I would want everyone to treat me just like
they would want to be treated. One thing about being helped, is that
usually the one that does the helping tells everyone they helped you.
Making it the talk of the office. If co-workers would just treat everyone
equally and not make fun of others because of differences, and not just
weight differences, work would be something people look forward to instead
of dreading.
— [Anonymous]
October 2, 2001
I wouldn't be offended if someone offered me help depending on the motive
behind it. I think if we treat others as we like to be treated things
evenutally come full circle. I realize that is not always the case - but
then you have to remember that they are truly the ones with the
"disability" - not you.
— [Anonymous]
November 28, 2001
I feel that you should make an effort to get to know the person. Chat on a
break, go to lunch together, then you would get to know the person, not
just the issue of there weight. Most people are there to help you pick up
somthing, or do somthing, but no one really faces the issue at hand. Large
co workers are needing friends, not hand outs, not to feel like someone is
watching us in amazement of how we fit in our chairs and how we cant see
our toes. Be our friend, then you should have no reason for being
offended, or feeling like you offended someone. You will know what to do
by just taking a few minutes out each day, to get to know the larger
person, and how he/she you will react.
— Melissa R.
January 1, 2002
For me just being plain thoughtful would go a long way in the workplace.
For instance. I went to a job interview and the HR rep was taking me to see
the manager in the dept I would be working in. Thin little bean pole
dashing up 2 flights of stairs when there was an elevator right next to the
stairs. Now I know she noticed me at 5"1 weighting in at a whopping
315 lbs. Yet instead of taking the elevator she just says "follow
me" and proceeds to skip effortlessly up these steps. I try to keep
up but of course I can't and by the time I am sitting in the managers
office interviewing for the job I am huffing and puffing still trying to
recover from 2 flights of stairs 5 minuetes ago and the manager staring at
me stupidly, I had to excuse myself and try to catch my breath before
answering each question. Needless to say I was humiliated and angry.
— [Anonymous]
January 16, 2002
When people at my workplace learned I was going to have a gastric by-pass,
most didn't believe I was morbidly obese. I guess in some ways, I probably
didn't look like I weighted 237 lbs. I wore a size 14-16 but I carried most
of my weight in my mid section. As I had a heart attack several years ago,
my doctor was concerned the excess weight was putting too much strain on my
heart. Many of the people I work with are overweight. The head of our
department as well as one of the supervisors. Of course there are a few
skinny minnies, now I am included, but no one makes fun and we just all
help each other with whatever we can. I truely don't believe anyone thinks
twice about the other person's weight. I was very upfront and honest with
everyone at work, as to why I was having this surgery and everyone was
behind me 110%. One of the "heavies" has asked me about wls as
she is considering it and I gave her all the information I could. Also
turned her on to Weight for Life. Guess I am lucky that we all work
together so well. No, it's not perfect but we are a pretty good
disfunctional family. I have been at my workplace 6 years as of today.
— Rita D.
May 31, 2002
Be polite. Good manners are never out of place
— Jackiis
June 14, 2002
Being curtious and using good manners with co-workers applies to ALL sizes.
We should ALL work together to fulfill our employer's mission statement and
provide the best service to our consumers. Obese people tend to be
kind-hearted and sensitive not only to ourselves, but toward other's needs
too. A smile and a helping hand is PRICELESS!
— RaeManning
September 20, 2002
I have found that because I am overweight that I must be lazy. I am quite
good at most things I do and usually find myself working circles around
co-workers. However, I have seen so much what I call fat discrimination in
the workplace. I am not working right, but will need to soon and am hoping
to after the surgery (if approved), am actually not wanting to look for a
job with the way I feel about my looks. Co-workers in any situation should
work as a team and be courteous to each other in any situation.
— waringd
December 15, 2002
I think the main thing is to treat us as human beings. I have gone on many
job interviews where they use my personality as a reason they don't hire
me, when it's clearly my weight. I've seen the eyes bug out when they
shake my hand. I've also been a victim of weight discrimination at work.
There was someone who would write messages on a whiteboard at my desk about
me being fat and needing to go to a fat farm. My boss was very sympathetic
and tried to erase things before I saw them, but I did. and HR did
nothing. If you make fun of someone who has AIDS or is a different race,
you get fired, when you make fun of a fat person, there isn't even an
effort to find you.
— Jennifer I.
January 23, 2003
We are overweight not handicapped. Were not lazy, shiftless, greedy etc.
We are just like you. Good manners are always appropriate, pick it up,
hand it to me, assist me, open the door, the same you would do for me if I
were a size 5. Don't do it because I am obese do it because you are being
kind hearted. Don't think you are offensive unless those are your
intentions. Our lives are not centered around our weight, if so you
wouldn't know us, you wouldn't see us.
— Laaliyyah M.
February 18, 2003
I personally live by the golden rule of life - "Treat others as you
would want to be treated." If you follow this rule you would never be
accused of offending anyone! I teach 2nd graders and I drill this moto
into them from the first day they enter my classroom.
— Holly F.
June 7, 2003
Within our work environment we should always be aware of opportunities to
assist one another. As a manager I look for each employee to offer support
to their co-workers and as our company has made this part of their employee
performance review the question would be "Why would you not offer your
assistance".
— blockie
October 14, 2003
I do not want to be treated any differently because I am overweight. I
sometimes feel that people don't think I am as smart or on top of things as
they are. This is probably my low self-esteem taking over most of the
time. However, there are definitely people out there who have very
negative attitudes towards overweight individuals.
— Rada J.
October 14, 2003
There is an underlying attitude in the workplace sometimes that people who
are overweight are (1) lazy; (2) uneducated; (3) stupid; (4) not capable of
carrying a job through to completion. Some simple rules need to be
reinforced: (1) Treat everyone with respect; (2) Weight has nothing to do
with intelligence; (3) Motivation is an attitude associated with character,
not weight; (4) Job skills are developed by people of all shapes; (5)
Kindness and a sense of teamwork are appropriate in any setting. (6)
Remember the break room is used by everyone--not just those who aren't on a
diet--be considerate.<br><br>
— Cathy S.
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