Question:
Is it worth the risk?
I just got word that a friend of mine that went in for a revision for her WLS that she had 5 years ago died in the hospital 2 days after surgery. She went in on 1/31, had the revision and a couple of days later developed an infection. She had trouble breathing and her heart stopped. They resuscitated her but it stopped again a little while later and they couldn't bring her back. The irony here is I hadn't spoken to this person in years. We just weren't traveling in the same circles anymore. She saw my name and profile on here and emailed me out of the blue just a few months back. She wanted to help with any questions I might have had. We got to be friends again in a short period of time and now she's gone. Because of a surgery that I'm trying desperately to get. God, is it really worth the risk? I know the arguement that I'm dying anyway with this weight but still.... — Scott D. (posted on February 11, 2005)
February 10, 2005
Scott,
First I want to say how sad and sorry I am to hear about your friend. She
obviously felt strongly about getting healthy because she took the risk.
No one plans to die but we all know that going into this, there are risks
involved. You are the only one that can say, if it is worth it, when it
comes to your life. I had surgery 3 years ago, I was more concerned about
how much hair loss i would have vs death. The reason i say this is,
because I had figured that I could try and live healthy or die miserable.
that maybe sound morbid but what kind of life would I have lived being so
obese and unable to funtion. It is so sad to see people give their life to
have a better life but I try and look at it this way, they did what ever it
took to improve their life even if it meant giving their life. I had a
friend who died last year, she had just gotten approved for the surgery and
passed away prior to her surgery date. It breaks my heart that she didnt
even get the chance to go through the surgery to better her life, before it
was taken from her. I live a much healthier life now, I have a child that
I would have never had if it werent for my having this surgery and losing
weight. To me, yes it was worth it. I gained my life back and brought
life into this world. I hope the best for you and may God be with you
weather you have the surgery or not...Deanna
— Deanna Wise
February 10, 2005
Hi Scott, Sorry for the lose of your friend. I know how you feel about
that I too lost a friend recently. She had her surgery before Christmas
and I had mine 2 weeks ago. I came home to the upsetting news. As for is
all of this worth it, I do believe that it is worth it in the long run. I
have lost 30 pounds in two weeks and I feel great. I can move around
without being out of breath all the time. I had my doubts also but in the
end I am glad that I had my surgery. You will be in my prayers with
whatever decision you make. Remember that we are all here for you. Email
me anytime you have a question. Take care and God Bless.
— julez
February 10, 2005
Ultimately its a question that only YOU can answer. My husband thought he
should be able to 'just' diet... it never happened and when he finally
decided to have WLS he died fighting for insurance approval. I decided at
the time I had nothing to loose. Make a list... pros/cons for your life
and then make your decision. sorry about your friend.
— star .
February 11, 2005
Scott,
I am terribly sorry to hear of your friend. I understand your fears and I
had fears similar to them. I however, am a woman of faith and I had to hand
it over to God. I decided last January to pursue this and knowing if I do
the leg work "HE" will do the rest. So with that in mind I
decided to do Atkins again and startd exercising 3X a week to make myself
as healthy as possible for surgery. This surgery is a MAJOR surgery and
should be thought about and differences weighed very carefully. I prayed
about it everyday and asked God that if it NOT be his will then make it
very obvious (e.g. denials)( I don't listen to authority very well...HAHA)
and if "He" was going to pull me through safely then it would be
as smooth as oil on water. And it was. I was very selective as to who I
told because of the negativity and judgements. Even my church family, I
surrounded my life with those who supported me and wanted better for my
life. You need to remember that this is a very personal decision and only
you can make it. The Bible says we are to fear God not man. I Hope this
helps. Good luck and God bless you.
Sonja - San Diego (open RNY 9/9/04-334/282/250/211~ goal 150)
— Son-Son
February 11, 2005
Scott, I'm so sorry you have lost your friend. It is a tragedy.
Unfortuntely this surgery as well as any surgery has significant risks.
One thing you should factor in here is that your friend was a revisions.
This is always considered to be much trickier and riskier than the original
surgery, at least in the great majority of cases. Most surgeons will not
do revisions. Not knowing her circumstances it's hard to say what all
factored in. If you decide to go ahead with surgery pick the best possible
surgeon you can and then put your life in God's hands and let him guide the
surgeon. I knew going into surgery I could die, but I decided I would
rather die trying than continue on the path I was. I was getting closer
and closer to being home and/or wheel chair bound and not being able to
work. For me personally, I would rather be dead than have to rely on
someone to do everything for me, including wipe my butt. I maybe had 5
years before that was reality but it was getting way too close for me. I'm
2 years out, down 250 lbs and life is so much better physically. I can do
whatever I want in life without ever factoring weight into the picture. It
truly is a very liberating life when you get to that point.
<p>Only you can make this decision. For some people surgery is not
the right path, but you need to then find a way to work on reducing your
weight and increasing your exercise to at a minimum stop the gain and
slowly lose. It's hard, but if it's the right way for you, then I'm sure
you can do it. For me I had lost about 200 lbs 8 years earlier and was not
able to keep it off, so I knew surgery was my last resort. Look deep
inside yourself and figure out what you want out of life, then set out to
get it! Blessings, Chris D.
— zoedogcbr
February 11, 2005
Scott, I am so sorry for your pain..I had a sister named Christine she was
41 married to the same mane since she was 20.they have 3 wonderful kids.
an had just built a 250,000 dollar house bought all new new furniture had
it all all her dreams coming true..The surgery at palms of passadena,Dr
Rennke things went fine then on the 9th day at home 6am in bed with her
husband she started to shake.when dave figured out something was wrong he
pulled her to the floor.An tryed to do CPR but nothing . she died with her
young kids watching an her husband at her side. At the hospital they said
she had a P.E..we are all very sad an miss her very much.
My DR. Haickien is using a IVC FiLTER in his patents. helping blood clots
that comefrom the legs and pelvis to breake down.I will be getting my IVC
filter soon I hope then 3 weeks after surgery.Some people think I am
crazy,but my family an I feel we all die when we are wanted by our god or
goddess...if its my time i will join the other part of my family.
So I hope this helps in some way.
Blessed Be Patricia 375lbs
— Patricia T.
February 11, 2005
If you're asking the question, then maybe it isn't. A lot of people use
this surgery to lose weight, but it is really to save your life. It is a
treatment for the disease of obesity. If you know you are going to die
from your disease, then this surgery is a good alternative to dying young.
— mrsmyranow
February 11, 2005
First I want to say sorry for you loss. To answer your question...YES for
me it was worth the risk. I was so depressed about my weight I didn't want
to be in public. I didn't feel worthy to be loved by others. I was 29 years
old an I weighed as much as 365lbs. I knew I could never have kids at this
weight without risk never mind the miracle of actually getting pregnant.
To be honest I didn't want to live another day at 365 and if my fate was to
go during or after surgery then that was a risk I wanted to take.
— davesband1
February 11, 2005
Hi, I am sorry for the loss of your friend. I have always heard that
revisions are really risky, and in the almost 4 years I am post op, and
from what I have seen posted, most of the people that have passed were
having revisons. I'm not sure why but it just seems to be the case. I
personally would never undergo a revision, I would be just too scared. As
for you. You have to listen to your inner voice, and pray about it. If
you are having severe doubts, then don't do it. Yes being overweight is
life threatening , but you have to do what is right for you. Have you
exhausted all other possibilities, eating habits, etc.? I know the WLS was
a last resort for me, as it should be for anyone. I had exhausted every
single possibility with diets, exercise, whatever, and then made the
decision, because yes it is surgery. The best thing to do is to talk to
your surgeon about your doubts. Surgeons do not want their patients to
pass away. They usually won't even consider doing the surgery if they feel
there is major risk. Talk with him/her. It is a tough decision, but I
wish you the best in whichever you choose.
— Carey N.
February 11, 2005
Dear Scott,
I am so sorry for your pain over the loss of your friend.
Death is definitely a risk of the surgery. I had first heard of the surgery
10yrs ago, I couldnt' even consider it then. I let it go. in 2000 I was
again contemplating it, even set an appt. up with a surgeon. I couldn't go
to the appt., I was not ready. Finally in January 2003 I couldn't move
anymore, I was housebound, couldn't breath, couldn't do anything...I was
dying. I weighed 340+ lbs, at 5'4". My family history with stroke,
heart attack and early death was not a good one. I felt the clock ticking
and prayed daily that I did not die before I had the chance to have this
surgery. I researched all the time, and still do. I did background checks
on the 2 surgeons I was trying to decide between. I found out everything I
could and tried to eliminate any complications that I could, or at least be
prepared for any bad outcome. I was calm about my decision. I had surgery
10-23-03 and 2 days later I had blood clots that broke off and ended up
with bilateral pulmonary embolisms, i got a greenfield filter (vena cava
filter). I knew that I was at higher risk for this to happen and discussed
it at length with my surgeon. Therefore, we had a contingency plan for
this, and I survived. I was not upset, I never felt like I was going to
die. I had God by my side the whole time. I am now down 165lbs and I am
losing the memory of what the pain was like. I have two children that I am
raising alone, they are now 10 and 16. I wrote my will and living will. I
was prepared for any outcome. But as you may have noticed, I had to be
ready for the surgery, if you are not ready, you are not ready. Doubt does
not mean you are not ready, just look at your life, have you tried
everything, and what are the odds facing you for having a life. Then pray
about it. If it is meant to be now, you will be able to come to that
decision, if not then you can wait. If it is not in your future to have the
surgery, make the best choices you can. This surgery is not for everyone.
For me it was my last choice, but one I had to make. And I am so glad and
grateful for it. So think hard and go with what you know is right for you.
Sorry for being so long winded here.
Lisa postop lap/rny 10-23-03 340/174/??? -166lbs
— Lisa H.
February 11, 2005
I, too. am sorry for the loss of your friend. It is perfectly normal to
have fears about having WLS - or any elective surgery, for that matter. I
researched and looked at the memorials and wondered if it was right for me.
I was scared of leaving my family. But when it comes down to it, there are
hundreds of thousands more people who have WLS and survive and go on to be
healthier and live longer because of it. Having your friend die puts
things out of proportion for you, and only you can decide if surgery is
worth the risk.
— koogy
February 12, 2005
I am so sorry to hear that your friend passed away from the surgery. But,
let me share with you something that relates to surgery that I had for
breast reconstruction after having being diagnosed with breast cancer and
and having the thought that I would would not have any complications with
TRAM operation for the reconstruction. The surgeon was an excellent
surgeon. There was a 1% chance that the surgery would fail. Guess what, I
fell into the the 1% category and subsequently had 9 surgeries in order to
save my life. They were approximately a two weeks apart. I wanted so much
to let God relieve me of my suffering and pain. But, He did not say that
it was my time. So, I survived. I was overweight and that might have been
the reason why the surgery was not a success, but, I will never know. I
just had GB WLS and once again, I had a wonderful surgeon on January 17th,
I had no complications and I am proud to say that I have lost 39 lbs to
date. What you need to keep in mind is that although there is always going
to be the risks with any surgery that you have, your life and health are
what is the most important factors that you must consider. Do whatever you
need to do to understand the risks, and follow the doctor's instructions to
the letter and most of all surround yourself with positive and supportive
friends and family that will pray and be by your side. Fear and doubt will
always cause things to happen because you do not have faith in what you are
doing. Questions your motives, do it for your health and wellbeing, not
for anyone else but you.
God speed and I believe that you will be successful and happy after
thorough and complete commitment to your decision.
Blessings and Love,
Jan
— Jannat B.
February 12, 2005
This is a question that only you can answer. I wish you the best in your
soul searching. ~~Rebecca
— RebeccaP
February 14, 2005
Scott,
I am so sorry that you lost your friend. Especially in the way she died. I
know it must make it really hard to make the decision that you have to
make now. You are the only one that knows the answer to the question. Well,
I should say that you are asking the right person, God. He can guide you if
you give Him the chance. I had my surgery Oct 20, 2004 and prior to surgery
I had already had about 7 other major surgeries. I was totally surprised
that I had complications. I am nearly free of all the complications now,
but I know that if it had been my time to go, I would have. God kept me
here for a reason. I have lost 67 lbs. I feel much better. I had
uncontrolled high blood pressure for 25 years and now it runs LOW. That is
wonderful. I had a stroke in 2003 so this surgery has put my risk for a
stroke decrease dramatically. It took me about 5 years to make up my mind
to have this. I was just so tired of having the health of an 80 year old
woman. I'm only 47. Pray and ask God to show you what to do. It is an
individual decision. Don't let anyone sway you. Good luck and if you need
any support, please feel free to write.
— debi327
February 21, 2005
Scott, I am sorry to hear about your friend. Stay strong and be positive.
You need to do some soul searching and make a decision that you feel
confident with.
— mzb2u
February 26, 2005
Thanks, everyone. I appreciate all your support and have decide to continue
on the path of surgery.
— Scott D.
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