Hello everyone. I am going to start to be more apart of the community here. I have posted but rarely. I am 5 months out almost. Had surgery on Nov 2nd. I have lost 68 lbs. I know I am doing great my surgeon says I am very healthy and doing great. Lately I have been having image issues. Not real bad though just the passing by the mirror or a store window at night and seeing my image. I cant believe it is me. Its not like I am a size 3 or somethign. I ama size 20 and 236lbs still. My highest weight was 390lbs so I know I have lost a person. But no matter how my logic steps in and says this is you. My emotional side says not real. I guess I am so use to gaining back everything and I know it is different this time. I had a issue friday. I went to a resturant for a going away party for a friend. This resturant I was shocked nothing on th emenu I could eat it was all fried and the soup was a heavy cream chicken and rice. They had chili but I didnt want to try it . I am still dealing with an inflammed pouch. So surgeon said no acids for another 60 days. Im anemic and all my iron has made my pouch still be inflammed. ANyways I realized I was about to cry. so I took the keys and went to the car. Hubby just asked if I was ok I told him I needed a moment to myself. I went to the car and flicked down the visor adn tried even giving myself a pep talk. It is just food adn your emotional attachment is why Igot to be 390lbs. The tears just flew. This shocked me I havent reacted to food like this ever. I even had a protein bar with me so if I actually got hungry i had food. But I was mad because it was the tavern food I wanted and reality stuck to me. See in the past I just stayed positive and said there is always somethign on the menu I could have and havent run into a problem with the menus anywhere me or my hubby have gone until now. Later that night I realized I was actually greiving for the loss of food. So things are better now. I knew it might happen you read other talking about it btu I thought not me I will talk through the issues, and then wamm there was nothign I could do about it. It happened. So nomatter how together you think you are, you never know what your brain will sneak things up on you.

I LIKE that idea! If I follow your lead, I'm off 105 1/2! Thanks! PS. Read ur profile... Hope you're doing OK. Life can really suk sometimes. Email me if ya wanna talk. & 's, Janet

Hi Jennifer, There is NOTHING wrong with having to take a medication. I live by the philosophy that everyone appears "normal" -- until you get to know them. Each and every one of us has issues to deal with and they are all equally important. Please take the medication that you need and your health-related quality of life will benefit! Jenny

I'm assuming you can't cru**** Can you melt it in ho****er? Can you break it into 4th's? I feel so bad for you. Maybe you should talk to your Dr's. Remember, you were less than 2 weeks post op. That means your pouch, and everything the surgeon touched was still swollen and aggravated. It may be a lot easier now. I hope you find a solution. I hope you feel better. God Bless you... Dawn 315.5/231/??

I was prescribed Lexapro 20mg starting in September 2003. Ever since my surgery, I've had a problem getting my tablets down. Less than 2 weeks post-op, I had one get stuck and had my first crisis of WLS. Since then, I've been very anxious about taking them. Even broken in half, they still make me nervous. So, about a month ago, I stopped taking them. This is my first confession of this fact. My psychologist doesn't know, my PCP doesn't know, my surgeon doesn't know and finally, my husband doesn't know. The truly sad part of this is I cannot stand the person that I am now that I'm not taking it. I'm angry, aggressive, impatient, etc. All around, I'm not a nice person... Through this "exercise", I have learned that I am truly ill and lacking mechanisms to cope daily in a manner that is acceptable in polite society. I think we all strive to be nice people and I realize that I am not. This makes me so sad. So, here I sit with my Lexapro tablet, broken in two pieces sitting in front of me trying to manage and accept that this is the only way I will be near "normal." I hate that this is my only choice... Thanks for listening. Blessings, Jennifer 253 / 187 / ???