how do you handle no support?

Kellie, We will support you as much as we can maybe we can't subsitute thefamily bond but we will support you and a lot of us is online late at night early morning. Hope this will ease it a little Audrey

Kelly, where are you having yoru surgery? There is a support group at Silver Cross in Joliet. Surround yourself with positive people. Your family will come around once they see the health improvements with you. At this point, remember, it is YOU and YOUR HEALTH that are at stake! Do not waste your energy and emotion trying to convince your family that they should support this, save your energy for your upcoming surgery and recovery. It is great that you have your fiance there, focus on the new life you are beginning that will affect you and him. Remember, You are never alone, God is always there for you, turn to him in prayer to help you find peace with your decision! Good luck with everything! I live in Mokena, so close to you, maybe we will run into each other at a meeting sometime! Sandy

Hey Kellie. Who are you doing this for? You or them? Sure, it would be "nice" to have support from the people you would expect it most. Sometimes you don't get support there because they don't have a good understanding of this. Maybe you hear, "well, so and so had this happen ... and I heard about so and so's cousin who died ... why can't you just eat less?" One thing that's great, is you've found a lot of support right here. Those who have been there, done that, and bought the t-shirt. I'd suggest you get to a support group meeting (they have them all over ... I go to several in the Chicago area) ... it would be even better if you could get some of your family to go too ... so they can ask questions to those who have been through it. Girl, you CAN do this, and you are NOT alone ... if you'd like to come with me to a support group meeting, I'd be more than happy to go with you (or have you come with me). Just make sure you've done your research, talked to people, and know what you're getting into (in the short and long term). Hang in there ... one thing I mentioned to the family of a friend of mine who had the surgery (they were not supportive either), was (to the husband) " ... are you prepared to take care of her in 20 years when she's 60 and perhaps cannot walk, or clean the house, or work ... what kind of quality of life is that for either of you, or the kids?" I know that's what I also thought about when I finally decided to go ahead with surgery. I could not imagine myself alive at 60. So, you've got friends here, we all have different stories, but the same journey, and we're here for ya. Karyn

Its not easy I have no support so I dont bring it up often. well my hubby is ok with it because he knows how bad I want this but hed rather me now do it. Hes afraid I will be misriable and in pain. my parents forget it. my mom says im selfish because of doing this because I have 4 kids. she said I will die and this surgery takes 4 years before you begin to lose weight. lol talk about is informed. Im not going to tell her when I doing it if possiable. my mothers even going to the extent of telling me I will die right in front of my 11 yr old. so now hes scarred and begging me not to do i either. my grandmothers are both making me feel bad for it. And aunt im very close to started crying the other day aking me feel bad. Im doing it for me and no one else no matter what they think. I figure if they try and guilt trip me then they are the selfish ones not me Dont give up please your lettng them and your weight win.

>>I'd suggest you get to a support group meeting (they have them all over ... I go to >>several in the Chicago area) ... Where??? I just had lap-band surgery April 10th. The only support I have is my mom, and if I told her what I'm thinking and feeling right now, she'd flip out. I'd rather go to a support meeting where people understand and probably have expereinced the same thoughts and emotions I'm feeling. :-)