Daughter had wls April 16

Hello! I am 4 yrs out from wls.  I have done well. Now I feel I had lost so much of my life being so big for so many years. My body will not let me eat icecream or milk and cereal now! This keeps me from gaining it back!  When I want a candy bar now I eat a protein bar! I am so proud of my daughter Carissa! She had wls 6 weeks ago and has lost 60lbs and does water exercises. She is really emotional! She is upset that she is not a normal size yet! I have told her it did not come on over night, it won't go away over night! She is looking good! I will be so happy for her when she reaches her goal! Carissa has been over weight her entire life except at birth. My one hope for her is she stops letting men run over her! She doesn't like the nice ones, the ones who don't show up as promised, the ones who she has to pay for the date! Thats the ones she likes best! Does this show men, or her friends at least, they can mistreat her and she will come back for more!   Hopefully she get get some self respect and start telling her self she is worth more than that! She deserves more! I want her to be happy! She is not happy with thses guys who she keeps picking! The nice guys who I like are boreing to her! Ok I will admitt, my boyfriend Kendall is boreing! But he respects me, pays half the bills and does what he says he is going to do!  If your looking into WLS DO your reseach! WLS is not for everyone! I am so glad that it worked for me and my 27 yrs old daughter! See ya all lighter! Cyndi

Hi, Cyndi... I know that feeling picking the wrong guys....when I was overweight. Somehow, this is what we do to be accepted... The one I had for eight yrs mistreated me and had me thinking I wasnt worth anything to anyone but to him....Once I realized that I was a better person, I dumped his butt. and now I have found the man of my dreams. he is wonerful...we have been together now for 7 yrs....(we meet on the internet) not trying to lure your daughter into doing this,,,but, i correspond with his sister for over two yrs b4 , her brother and I meet.... I believe once she had more confidence she too, will make better judrgements....Give her time. she will shine! Congratz to your daughter for her acheivements....tell her for me to keep up the good work...

Thank you! I too left a guy 1 yr after wls, that I had dated 10 yrs on and off, now have met the man I am going to spend the rest of my life with! I hope after Carissa loss's her weight she will see She Can Do better! Thanks for the advice! Cyndi

Cyndi, I never had any kids so I do not have much to offer in the way of a motherly advise but I do know that sometimes mom's and dad's will live their life through their kids. Maybe she needs to start making some of her own choices and learn from them. It might be what she needs to give her the boost to figure out the right or wrong guy. Sometimes it is just so hard for the other person to just shut their mouths and not say anything so the other person can learn. Maybe she just needs someone other than you to be giving her the same advise as you, mom. Many times the child or other person will listen to that advise more readily than if it came from you. I have seen that so many times with friend's who are teachers that when they have a guest teacher come in and s/he will tell the students the SAME EXACT THING teaching lesson and the kids will grasp the concept. Sometimes it comes across as a lecture from the parent or close relative.  Take care. Why don't you encourage her to become a member here and have her post some of her thoughts and questions?  We all would love to get to know her. Christine

Christine, Thank you for the reply and encouragement. Carissa says she has come onto obesity help for advice but she says she feels funny telling things to strangers. Well when I had my wls before and after these "strangers" became my best friends! I try not to give her advice about men! All her friends tell her time and time again to stay away from "those bad boys" but those are the ones she is attracted to! When she tells me she is dateing one from the past who I know has done her wrong I tell her I do not want to know! In my mind I know he will do the same tricks ect.. sure enough a few days will go by she will say "Mom You were right" Again I don't want to know!  Carissa wants all my advice about wls and things have changed in 4 yrs, her wls Dr has different rules than mine had!  Some things she is allowed I would have never ate as soon as she is allowed to eat! No way would I eat salad at 2 mths out! But her wls Dr allows it!  Thanks again for the advice! Lov Cyndi

I am a little confused - who is sweetgrrl517 and who is Cyndi B? Christine