Anyone feel guilty for wanting WLS?

I met with my surgeon yesterday and it went great, my husband is more supportive of the sugery now after talking to Dr. Oliphant. The problem is now that it seems like this can really be happening after trying for over a year, I'm starting to feel guilty about taking a life/death risk. I know I'm doing it so I can have a better future, but I still can't shake the thought that I could be leaving my 3 kids without a mom. Is this just the "pre-surgery jitters"? Did anyone else feel this way? I feel like I'm being selfish for putting myself first, I guess I've never done that before, that's how I ended up this way.

Mendy

Hi Mendy - I think a lot of people go thru the guilt especially when there are children involved.  Just remember you are not only doing this for yourself, you are doing this so you can have a better quality of life with your children and husband.  They are going to be so thrilled when Mom can ride bikes, coach socker, keep up with them and the list is endless.  Just stay focused on that prize.. a healthier, happier you. You will do just fine, the emotions/feelings are going to be all over the place.  You'll be happy, sad, scared etc.  It's gonna be ok. BTW, it's great to hear hubby went w/ you to your appointment and is being so supportive. ((HUGS)) Christina

Mendy, I am going through the same thing right now, but it is with my husband, all my kids are grown now, it is just him and I,  so I know what you are saying, just hang in their  everything will be ok, anyway that is what I keep tell my self,   (((Hugs))) to you,

Mendy,
 I agree with what everyone has said. As I round the corner to my surgery tomorrow. I have felt a little quilty but I also know my family and I will love the new me and that this is a tool I can use for the rest of my life. Also we as mom's and mothers deserve something for ourselves too. So good luck and just keep your chin up. Love Martha

Sorry so late with a reply,  I only check this board every few days We all had pre-surgery jitters, each for their own reasons, its a part of being human to second guess decisions even when we know we've chosen the right course.  There is the fear of facing possible death from surgery (not just this one but any surgery has its risks), there is the fear that we are being selfish in wanting the surgery, the fear of the unknown ... what helped me prior to surgery was the cold hard facts of my life. I have a husband who like yours is supportive and he went with me to my appointments, not only with Dr. Oliphant but all my other doctor visits that were the results of my co-morbidities.  We faced my PCOS issue and infertility as well as my worsening high blood pressure and the shadow of possible diabetes which could have happened at any time.  The fact was, my husband loved me exactly how I was, he didn't care that I was fat, just that it made me sick.  He truly is one in a million!   It honestly helped because I had his total support and confidence throughout, he seemed to take the worry onto his own shoulders and let me focus on a future ... a future that I firmly believe would have been taken from us had I not had the surgery.  If I had not chosen WLS I would most likely be 400 pounds, heart diseased and sick with the rest, and shortening my life by decades ...  but because I chose to do this WLS, that some people call selfish, I am now at least assured that I have the *chance* to grow old with my husband in better health than I've had since high school.  And of course there is the matter of the babies!!  We would never have been able to get pregnant before without serious medical intervention. It is a brave decision you have made, and its natural to be worried!  Just try to keep in mind that you are giving yourself the most precious thing as well, the chance to be there for your husband and kids. Good luck!!

((hugs)). Im sure this is totally normal. In fact im feeling the exact same way now. I now have my date for surgery im feeling very guilty. My family has been though alot of death the past 2 years. Tha last one being my little boy a few months ago. Now my husband is having some health issues. I feel badly BUT i HAVE TO DO THIS FOR ME and the family. Im scared to die I cant lie im terrified since my sons death. My 1 yeqar old doesnt want me to do it because he just lost his little brother now maybe me. I cant promise him I wont die what do you do? You PRAY. thats what im doing im trying to lay it in Gods hands now. He wants me happy and healthy so im praying it will all work out. Dont feel too guilty your doing this FOR your children AND yourself.

Thank you for your post. I watched your sons memorial video and my heart goes out to you. Good luck with your surgery! Mendy

Thank you so much.