Surgery in 6 days... and I feel weird...

It's all starting to hit me now.  I saw my surgeon today.  My life is going to change forever.  I can't stop to think, am I really doing this.  I am bothered by people at work who are now giving me the cold shoulder.  I can't understand it.  I didn't do anything to them.  I keep trying to be nice-- my nature, but I feel sad.  Why wouldn't people be happy for me? My good friend told me not to talk about my surgery so much.  I didn't think that I was talking about it a lot.  I thought that my friends were interested in my life.  I must be wrong... Now I feel like I'm taking this huge step and I have to keep it all in. I just want to be free from pain.  Can't they understand that.  I don't care about being skinny.  I just want to be able to breathe again, walk down stairs without pain, roll over in bed without help, walk for more than just a few feet with becoming winded, fit in a normal chair, fly on an airplane, allow myself enough time to get out of harms way, climb a step ladder, ride a bike, walk in a room without worrying that everyone dislikes me.   I'm a little upset.  I have waited a long time for this.  I should be filled with joy, not worry that I might be offending my shallow co workers.  Thanks for listening.

This is what you can do with those not so nice friends of yours    People HATE change, and if they see a huge improvement with you it just might make them feel guilty or jealous!   You just worry about the new you and things will fall right into place for you.   Congradulations    Don't let anyone steel your excitment and joy over this! Pam

Janet - I'm sorry to hear your so called "friends" are treating you this way.  Some may just not know what to say, some may be jealous, some may be afraid of the unknown.  People deal w/ this stuff differently.  You can always come here for support, we will hold your had thru this new phase of your life.  I will share in your excitement.  This is going to change your life forever and you will be able to reach each and everyone one of those goals you listed.  It's an amazing journey.  Don't let other people get you down.  Stay away from that stinkin thinkin and stick with the winners.  You need and should surround yourself with healthy, positive people. Hugs to you. Christina

Janet, remember you are doing this for you.Not the idiots at work who wear a size 2, not even really for your family or friends. You are doing this for you alone. Your co-workers are just that. They really don't care for anything except for themselves. You will be fine. When you want to vent, come in to the Illinois forum.  We are all here for you, cheering you on to the losing side. Lisa

It's so strange to hear you say this.  I'll be three years out on November 12 this year.  When I was preparing for my surgery, I didn't necessarily keep it a secret but I often had to take or make phone calls during the day.. or if someone came over to my desk and asked me about it, I would gladly tell them. At one point, one of my bosses actually pulled me into a conference room and told me I needed to stop talking about my surgery.  I really was stunned.  I couldn't imagine why!   I'm three years out now, as I said, and standing on this side of it, who cares about those people?  Honestly, I never found out WHY I couldn't talk about it or WHY it made other people uncomfortable.  I have a lot of theories why.. I think other people are just unhappy and think that when someone else goes out and does something about their own unhappiness, they just want to keep them "in the fold" -- stay miserable here with me!  I don't want to be alone. PSH!! Trust me, this WILL change your life in so many ways you can't even begin to imagine.  Always keep in mind that this change is FOR you, BY you and ABOUT you.  You don't have to make excuses or explanations or anything to anyone else about any of it.  Not the choice, not the action, not the result. There are more people in this world who ARE and WILL be so happy for you as you re-achieve your health and confidence.  Those bitter nellies will be a faint memory soon enough. Keep your chin up!

I have not seen you around in forever!  I just peaked in on your profile and it looks like there are some major changes coming in your life soon. I can not tell you how happy I am for you and monkey! Call me, text me, write to me, something! I miss you!

HI Janet, I am sorry that the folks you work with are being such jerks.  Just remember that this is a phase, ignore them.  As you can see now, they are not really your friends.  This surgery is for you and you alone.  If they cannot support you or share in this wonderful experience, then rid yourself of them now.  Since you have to work with them, keep a professional relationship, but nothing more. The people on this board will support you and cheer you on in your journey.  It is hard and painful when you find that people you thought you could  count on let you down. Best wishes for your surgery and remember we are here for you. Regards, Mary

My surgery is scheduled November 28th. I know how you feel. As your confidence grows people will change around you. It's already starting to happen. Just know you are doing this for the right reasons.