Shame

Hi Janet. I love your new picture! I'm not sure about the 30th as I have another invite to a birthday party.

I'm working on my shame issues and getting to read the article from Dr. Guske's office is a life saver. It rang true for me.

Thanks for the big e-hug! Right back at you too.

Lucy

Hi Lucy, glad to "see" you.  We've all missed you! congratulations on the 9 lb loss, but even if you had gained we'd still be here to support and help you however we can, that's what families do. Acknowledging a problem is the first step in taking control of it. Enjoy you upcoming vacation & cruise. Hugs, Paulette

Hi Paulette. Thanks for your message. It's time for me to step up to the plate. I plan on having a great time on the cruise.

Hope you are feeling well.

Hugs,
Lucy

Lucy,

welcome back, I have missed your naughtiness.  The one thing I have learned is that when you stop looking for it, it will show up - love that is.  Congratulations on your 9lb loss, that is great, and remember you are a work of art in progress so keep up the hard work and it will all pay off in the end.

Hugs and Kisses

Hi Wendi. I've missed everyone too. I'm tired of being alone and thought that my transformation would get me at least into a steady relationship and it hurts that it hasn't happened.

I'm working on me now and putting that aside.

Thanks for your message.

Hugs and kisses back at you too.
Lucy

((((Lucy))))  I am so glad to see you posting again, though I haven't been good either with everything that's been going on around here. 

It's good that you have figured out what is going on and have plans in place to over come it.  You know that your OH family loves you and wants the best for you, but we can't help if you shut us out silly.  Congrats on the 9 lbs gone too, that is awesome!!  As for men....well don't let them get you down.   You just hang in there and hopefully I will make it to support group this weekend! 

thank you for  your kind words about me losing Shane as well, he sure is sorely missed around here.

Hi Monica. I know.... it's the shame of it that got to me. I  hope to see you on Saturday.

I lost my dog years ago and still miss her to this day. So, I definitely understand how you are feeling. {{{Hugs}}}

Love ya!
Lucy

Lucy,

I am sooo glad that you are back.  I was very worried about you.  You have been one of the major people in my WLS life, and without your support I wouldn't be at this point!  Just a word of reminder, we all have pain and reasons for our obesity.  We've all hidden behind our weight to stay safe at one time or another.  And we've all overcame that defense through our strugles and our growth and ended up on this board, at support groups and in the hands of our wonderful doctors.  This is the place to come when you are scared and hurting.  When life is letting you down and you feel like crying (or eating), this is the place!  Sometimes we become so strong for others on this board, we start to feel like we can't be weak at times.  But we are all here for the same reason, to GET support!  You will never let me down as long as you show up.  The moment you come to the board, you've succeeded!  Some people have lost hundred's of pounds, while others have gained hundreds.  They are all successes because they are here and in the conversation.  Stay in the conversation!!!  You are a beautiful and successful part of my life and that is not measured in pounds or inches.  That said, I acknowledge the pounds and inches!  I'm no expert, but my guess is that your other troubles are probably being handled in similar ways.  That is to say, you get scared and tend to avoid them.  I know that I do that from time to time.  But the honest truth about getting into a good relationship is that you've got to be at the dance to find a dancing partner!  And sometimes it takes a long time to find someone worth dancing with!  Hang in there!  As one half of the male contigent on this board (pipe in Barry!), I can assure you that you are a vibrant, beautiful and exciting woman and you will find that special partner just as soon as you clear the path for it to happen.  Stay in the conversation, keep dancing, and keep coming to the places that are healthy for you (like this board).  I'm going to end now because I know I'm getting "preachy".  But know that we love you and will always be here for you.  Paul

Hi Paul. I appreciate your message, really! Not preachy at all, just the truth. I realize that I have a lot of friends here. But, I'm the one who has to do this, use my tool effectively. Actually, I have two tools, my band and bypass - so I am doubly blessed.

I thank you for your kind words and promise to be here.

Hugs and Love,
Lucy

Paul,  I know this message was meant for our Lovely Lucy.....but as I am catching up on the Illinois Board....I came across this.  I really, really needed to read this...and it hit home, thanks.

As you know, I am having issues w/my band....and the one thing that is really weighing heavy on my heart is SHAME because not only am I still obese and struggling with my weight.....I am a self-pay as you know and seeing that I am having complications w/the band is hard because I feel I am the one that is completely failing. Along with the fact that I see check go out every month as I am paying on this...and as quickly as the check goes out for hte payment I wish the pounds went off w/it as well.

As I have issues and get on the scale and see the struggle it shames me to no end that instead of the scale going down now it is going up and it only stresses me out more and depresses me as well.

This morning I was so bummed out that I not only feel the weight coming back but the "inches" as well....I don't know....I just feel blah.  So, without a bat of an eye....I started "trying" to eat the foods that would comfort me.  Unfortunately, it gut stuck w/the first bite....puking/sliming/and pb'ng.....Sooooooo, so much for using it for comfort food.  The irony is that I had to laugh at myself at how pathetic even my comfort food was no longer comfort but pain.

Anywho.....what you wrote wa**** home, so thanks.