Scared and unsure about WLS surgery!

I want to have this surgery so I can be a healthier mom and more active woman. My husband said "whatever" in regards to mke having surgery. I am scared because of the risk of death and the possible numerous complications. I have not and do not plan too tell my family because of thier negativity towards the surgery. We had a friend who had WLS and has had a lot of complications. She did "die" but they brought her back. They even "called-in" the family because they were for sure she would not make it. This is why I am afraid to tell anyone besides my husband. He said we are going to have to tell them because we will need someone to help out with our daughter while I am in the hospital. We do not live close to our families. Can any of you who have had the surgery let me know if WLS was worth the risk of death. I feel like I am totally alone in making this decision. I have researched WLS alot, but feel like I if I have the WLS it is selfish of me to put myself in that type of situation where the outcome may not cause me to die. Thank you to all who will lend me some support and insite. "Through Him all things are Possible" Dee

Dee I just posted this to Veronica.. I think this could go for your feelings as well... I went into surgery placing my self in Gods hands and I know he watched over me through my surgery... here's what I said to Veronica I hope this helps you ... "I can understand your fears.. and boy lack of support at home can make it really tough... Your friends saying you might die.. I can't lie to you and say no you wont.. cause its a fear we all have when going into this surgery... I think for me my greatest fear was dying fat.. and believe me I would have.. My health was rapidly going south and I decided to have the sugery because I had to take that chance to be a healthier mom for my kids. As far as your boyfriend.... he'd rather you be fat miserable and unhealthy??? His fear isnt that he wont be attracted to you its that you wont be attracted to him when your weight comes off. Lets face it when we lose weight we have more confidence and men see that!!! When you fear death with this look at all the success stories here on the board... THOUSANDS of us did not die... we are living testaments that this surgery works ... Don't let anyone talk you out of it IF you want this surgery.. you either want to be fat the rest of your life or you don't... Tell your friends to educate themselves on this surgery.. give them the link to this website and to all those who have had surgery and are here today ALIVE and LIVING again!!! You have all of us for support, I hang out mostly on the Singles board but feel free to email me privately if you need too. What this all comes down too is this.. what do you want... not family, not boyfriend, not friends... How do you want to live the rest of your life.. because thats all that matters...follow your heart..." Good luck with your decision

Well Dee I was having the same problem and I am taking some advice from other OH members. I have come to realize that what others say DO NOT matters to me anymore.We are having the surgery to betters our lives to become healthy for our childrens. I am sure many have had second thoughts about WLS but went through it any way and that was the best decision of their lives. IN the beginning I had absolutely not doubt I didn't care what others thought,but after hearing all the negitive things from those who I thought really cared I started to doubt myself as well as my doctors. And then all of a sudden this morning I was clearing out a box of things I had for about two years and came across my journal I had started at the beginning of my WLS research and found some very inspirational words that I had written. I hope these words will give you reassurance and motivation as it has been for me and whenever I start to feel down or discouraged repeat them as much as you need. So here goes: The reason for me to have WLS is because I've come to learn LOVE,GOD'S LOVE and knowing GOD loves me unconditionally I can love myself. By loving myself I need to be healthy,take better care of myself,care how I treat my body so I can live longer and knowing that being obese wasn't the plan GOD have for me. ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE WITH THE FAITH OF GOD. In Jeremiah 30 it reads "But I will restore you to health and heal your wounds,says the Lord, because they have called you an outcast: "It is Zion;no one cares for her".DO NOT GIVE UP IF YOU SLIP HAVE FAITH.

I am posting this here for both of you and I hope that it may ease your mind. I have heard that the healthier you are going in to the surgery reduces the risks of complications afterwards. For example- if you have heart problems, diabetes, and breathing problems, you are POSSIBLY more likely to have a harder time than someone who is going in with little or none. I am hoping that you will both pray about this and go from there. I myself am hoping to have this surgery the first part of 2006. I am sure there will be a time that I begin to doubt and I will have to reflect back here to the board. I have been a part of many support groups where people have told their stories. I have even visited the hospital where my step-mom's brother had complications after going home because he lifted something that he shouldn't have. After he went back to the hospital and had a second surgery, I went to visit. In the ICU bed he said (even then) that he would do it all over again. And he was just in the beginning of the weight loss process. I wish you both the very best of luck. Study your surgeon and feel warm and fuzzy about him. When you feel good about it and have prayed you will know in your heart what you need to do. God Bless You! Beth M

Hi Deanna, You have some legitamite concerns. I had some serious complications & severely regretted having the surgery . I was MISERABLE for about 2 months I was tired all the time & suffered with lots of nausea. I even wondered if a reversal would be possible! Now I'm nearly 7 months out( June 8) & everything is great. I've lost 100# & feel so much better.I lost 20# pre-op too. I'm not trying to encourage or discourage your decision. It's something YOU must decide. Best of luck! Kathy O.

Deanna I had WLS Aug 2004 and I had the same fears. I too knew someone that died after having WLS as a matter of fact she died three months before I had WLS. I had a lot of negativity as well, however I had to put my trust in God he and he alone know the date and time that he's going to call us home even if I had the surgery or not on that particular day if it was my time there was nothing I could do about it. So I just trusted God to see me through and I made sure that I was living according to Gods word. It's normal to have these fears b/c this surgery is major and you have to make a lifestyle change for the rest of your life. However if I had to do it all over again I would I had no complications at all be blessed Renee

Dee, I think we've all heard negative stories about WLS. Someone's aunt died, someone's cousin's uncle's brother-in-law... there exists much negative press, as well as experiences of others ... however, this time it's about you. Only you can answer whether or not WLS is worth the risk of death. Ask yourself if it's worth the risk of life. I don't know what, if any, your comorbidities are. Know this. You have to have supportive people in your life when you do this. You have to be strong in your decision, whatever that ultimately may be. If you have people who are going to sabotage your efforts, whether intentional or unintentional, you have to be prepared to back up what you are doing with the facts should you choose to. I used to be very defensive towards anyone who questioned my choice. Now my answer is that I did what was best for me. My WLS has alleviated a host of medical issues that included diabetes, hypertension, and high cholesterol just to name a few. Glad to see you here, posing your questions to those who know where you're coming from. I wish you all the best! Cathy

I am one month out and I totally and completely identify with your fears. That said, I feel wonderful, have lost 30 pounds and had zero complications. I feel truly blessed. I stressed, obsessed, researched, protein loaded before my surgery, talked to all kinds of WLS patients and took every kooky and true story everyone in the universe told me to heart. I worried about the state of my marriage, because there are a fair amount of WLS patients that get divorced after surgery. All of these things ran through my mind constantly. In the end, I decided that I want to be the most active, fit and healty Mom and wife I can be. I want the "outside" of me to match the "inside" and on the inside I'm pretty, sexy and ready to find the fun in every single day. My husband pointed out that WLS patients who get divorced after surgery might not have had great relationships before surgery. He reminded me that we've been married 15 years and are one of the happiest couples we know. (This, coming from a truly non-romantic cop... ) So... I did it... I had laproscopic RNY surgery on November 30th with Dr. Roger De La Torre in St. Louis. He's done more than 3,000 surgeries and has an incredibly high success rate. Even still, I did make sure my will was up-to-date. I wrote a letter to my husband, each daughter, my sister, my Mother and one to the family as a whole. They weren't opened, obviously, but I think the exercise gave me some peace and, in truth, it's not a bad thing to do anyway. After all, every day is a gift and you never know when your time will come. I'd be happy to answer any questions you might have.