Am I skinny yet?

You know when you have fat days, everything seems depressing? Well, I know I didn't lose weight this week. I can feel it in my stomach and face when I do... no such luck. On top of that, I really want to swim, but hate my body so much and know that everyone will see me in a bathing suit. I love swimming, but won't go because of my size. Then to add to that feeling of self-loathing, I was studying outside with my roommate (BEAUTIFUL evening here in Florida) and boy did that turn out sucky(I know, great vocab.). My roommate recently bought a table and folding chair set from Lowe's for our patio. I sat in the chair before, but not more than 5 minutes. I guess the stress on the chair for longer than that was too much for it... as I felt it start to bend. It's noticeable that there is damage to the framework and armrests. I am horrified! I know I've lost a good amount of weight for only being 4 months post-op, but I wish I didn't have to deal with chairs breaking anymore. This just burst my non-existant bubble today. I just want to keep losing weight and not suffer with being fat anymore. I also worry a lot about hitting a plateau. I know it will come (and I fear that it already has with this week). I'm just really depressed about being me today (sorry for anyone who was in a good mood before reading my post). I guess I'll go. I just feel on the verge of tears, and have been that way all day. This chair breaking issue just topped off my crappy day. ~Alyssa... or actually today 352/297/goal weight -55 pounds, 4 months post-op

I'm sorry you're having a "fat" day, Alyssa. Try to focus on your accomplishments. You could still be pre-op (like me), not approved by insurance yet, waiting, and 55 pounds heavier than you are now. There is nothing wrong with wishing for faster progress. We've all been there. Just hang tight and keep your eye on the prize.

Kira, Thank you so much for your response! I was just horrified that this chair wouldn't hold my weight. I know pre-op my "fat days" were much more often and worse. It just hit me hard that day and I needed the support from you guys. Thank you so much! ~Alyssa

You know, I'm just like you - I love to swim. Anything with water, in fact, I love--snow skiing, swimming, time at the beach. At some point in college I was humble when I started gaining weight. Now, at the gym, I've been noticing, no one looks. Even when the drop dead gorgeous girls walk by, I look at the men's faces - 7 out of 10 don't even look. I say do what you love and f*ck anyone who makes you uncomfortable because with every stroke, you're building a better body. Every time you take a breath, you're making yourself stronger. Every time you complete your swim, you've done something that helps you get to your goal. So, maybe someone out there looks at you and thinks, "Gosh, she's not the right size." They'll see you in a few weeks and think, "Wow, she's lost a lot of weight!" Do what you love and the rest will follow. Screw anyone, who stands in your way! By the way, you might like to know there was a study done recently and the girls most likely to be picked up in a bar wasn't the prettiest girls in the place but the ones the guys said looked like they had the most confidence and were the most fun. The take-away is sports give you self-confidence, people will notice you are enjoying yourself, and you'll feel good about what you accomplished. That's what makes you attractive!

Shelley, Thank you so much for your pep talk! I really love swimming... you know that feeling. Sometimes when I'm washing my face and my hand are under running water I long for the pool. It's just so sad that I let other people's opinions stop me from being happy. I really am going to try and get the courage to go swimming. I printed out before and now pictures of me in my bathing suit (that I will keep on my vanity) to remind me how far I've come and how much better I look. I hope that helps me (and your little pep-talk)! Thank you so much! ~Alyssa

Awww Alyssa; I know exactly how you feel. It sucks sometimes. You, sweet friend, have lost 55 lbs. in 4 months! That is so awesome. Those "skinny" times are coming, where we don't worry about chairs or airline seatbelts or shopping in the "women's department". You have done so well, and you are so supportive of your friends here. Some days just suck. But overall they are wonderful, as you are. This is a journey, and there will, of course, be bumps in the road. But stay on the path and we will all make it together. You are beautiful!!! Chelle 291/261/145

Chelle, Thank you so much for your kind words! You are so wonderful and I was just flattered by what you said. People like you really make this forum supportative and I am so thankful for you posts! I'm doing much better (with a weight loss this week which suprised me) and good grades in school. I just needed your support and caring words to help me deal with that depressing fat day! Thank you so much! ~Alyssa

Alyssa! Here's a big kiss for you! (sorry, I couldn't find a "hug" smily) you've done awesome girl! I know it's natural to have down days...heck, I've suffered quite a few recently. But, just think.....next year this time, you aren't EVER gonna suffer from cheap chair-itus! You know it's true! I've been having trouble since banding, hadn't lost but 14 pounds since MAY 3RD! on top of it all, I have to use a walker cause my left hip has completely collapsed and cannot find a single doc to replace it at my weight. So, this was a last ditch effort for me. And it's not coming off very quickly. On top of that, 2 weeks ago was diagnosed with Diabetes 2 and just today was told the back pain I have is due to 3 compressed discs cause I walk stooped over with a walker...duh! Everyone has told me over and over that I have to excersize to get this off! NOW....they tell me I have definate osteoarthritus in my spine! what else??!! My point is, (sorry I rambled) we all have a lot on our plates. Keep looking at how well you have done! I mean, you just blow me away! I think you have done so well, And just think of all these bullets your dodging! I wish I'd found this back when I was younger. You are a constant source of encouragement to me as well as a lot of other newbies! Maybe that will help put a bandaide on the chair problem. It does suck (know what you mean. Been there, done that!) But you are doing so well. It won't be long before this is all a memory to laugh at! Hang in there! Marti

ALYSSA, HONEY I GO THREW THAT ALL THE TIME. IT WILL PASS AND IF IT DOESN'T JUST GET OUT OF THE HOUSE AND GET SOME FRESH AIR AND GO TO THE PARK AND TALK TO GOD HE ALWAYS MAKES THINGS BETTER. YOU ARE MY INSPIRATION I HOPE I CAN BE JUST WHERE YOU ARE AT 4 MONTHS. MARTI I HAVE BAD KNEES AND CAN'T HARDLY WALK AND I HAVE 5 DIS IN MY LOWER BACK THAT PLAY HELL WITH MY STANDING OR WALKING FOR ANYTIME AT ALL. MY ONLY HOPE IS TO LOSE THIS WEIGHT SO I CAN BREATH BETTER AND BECOME MORE ACTIVE. MAY I ASK WHAT YOU ARE EATING NOT BEING ACTIVE .LIKE WHAT SHOULD I DO ? I AM 5 DAYS OUT AND HAVE LOST 15 LBS BUT I AM AFRAID IF I EAT I WILL GAIN IT BACK. GLORIA PATRICA

Gloria, Let's keep in touch! I eat mostly solid lean protein (except once in a while we eat beef) We bought a side of beef and sometimes don't make it to the store for anything else ALOT of tuna, salmon I don't really enjoy either, but know they are good for me. All said and done, I'm about on target.....4-6oz. protein-1/2 cup or so of cooked veggies (I no longer can eat raw ones) and that's about it. I'm rarely ever hungry between meals and hardly ever add any starch. I recently found out that my blood sugar was running high, so started Metformin and tried to avoid all "carb" food. It's taken me all summer to get to this point though. Before, I was just making good choices on what I put in. I let the band do it's job on how much. I went to see my doc every 3 weeks or so for fills, till I got to this point. He was fine with that. It's very strange, now I don't have the "urges" for other foods. And I'm finally losing steady. Hang in there, it will happen. I was one of those folks it took 6 or so fills before it hit me. I have a friend with the VG band and she's losing alot faster than me, with only 2 fills! BUT....she's also much younger and more active. It's different for everyone. Marti 314/280/150