X Post. Ive fallen and can't get up

Ruth, having known Mark since the beginning of Victory back when it was Victory Christian Center, he comes across just as well in person, I think even more so....He is so who he is and he is sooooooooo human!  Victory used to allow Mark to be more accessable than he is now, but  he still ministers to you as does the entire church. The music alone is unbelievable!!  Be prepared to stand on your feet a lot as the worship time is long but overwhelming. You will never leave there feeling like a failure and that you needed to rededicate your life over and over. You will leave feeling like you have just been refilled with strength to get through another week. 

Hi, Rita.
I responded to your other post, so I won't repeat myself here, but I just wanted to say how much I love you. My heart aches for you, as you walk this lonesome valley. It is lonesome, but you don't have to walk it alone.
I cried, reading the replies here. So many people love you. My goodness--who else but Debra would offer her very own dog, for a companion. That is so precious.
Please don't continue to eat your grief. You are worth more than that. I understand why it seems to help temporarily, but it will hurt you more in the long run. You are not a failure; you're just human.
Praying for You,
Mary

Rita, chin up, young person.  I haven't been doing carbs as in bread, pasta, rice, potatoes, but give me popcorn and I lose control.  And right behind that is chocolate.  My boss keeps the chocolate on her desk.  I've taken to asking her to come to my office if I need to talk to her to avoid seeing the bowl.  The popcorn, I haven't conquered that yet -- I've just stopped going to movies so I'm not tempted.  I've stayed static on my weight loss for two months now -- that is testimony on how ungood I've been.  But today is a new day, I've started back to exercising, and I'm doing  my best to use the things I can have to cure my cravings -- pork rinds instead of popcorn, chewable calcium, chocolate flavored, in place of chocolate (only two a day).  Try to think of a substitute for what you're craving and exercise, my friend.  You can't eat if you're riding a bike or walking outside.  As for grieving, the only cure for that is time.  You might take an anti-depressant for a few months to help you over the hump -- I know after my dad died I literally had anxiety attacks where I thought I was having a heart attack.  Be sure you're getting enough sleep.  If you're not sleeping well the exercise will help with that, too.  I'll keep you in my prayers.  take care.

Rita, I am so sorry for what you are going through....No one on here has had weight loss surgery, and lost two parents all in the same year and the two passings were with in months and still recent.... You are not only grieving your former self ,where you could eat what you wanted when you were empty, but you are also mourning the loss of your parents. You are totally empty right now....Your losses are overwhelming and it is understandable for all of us...It is harder to see it for yourself. You feel like you should be able to do better...Who says?? No one can predict how you are feeling or what you are going through.  I just can't imagine the amount of grieving you are going though.
 I know one thing...you are strong! I watched how you went through all of the things you had to endure with your mother and I have seen a tenacious spirit in you. You will get through this too. You have come to your friends for comfort and understanding and that is where you should come.  Like many have said....clean the house of the carbs...don't tempt yourself while you are in this state....
Come here for strength and for your friends to help you through...if it is every day, then it is everyday, until you can stand alone again...I know if anyone can get back on her feet....it is you! Please know I am praying for you. I am praying that God will fill your emptiness with the love you need right now. You are so loved by the members on here and those who you have helped at the hospital. It's our time to give back to you. Huggs!

Rita, I am so sorry that you are having to go through all of this.  You are NOT a failure.  Look at how far you've come!  I'm sorry you're going through this carb situation but I now know you are human like the rest of us.  You know as has been said time and time again we had surgery on our stomachs and not our brain or heart.  I know you have a broken heart and grief is a strong thing but you must go through that part alone.  We are all here for you in any way we can be.  I have also been fighting with carbs especially since Christmas.  Just remember the old Rita would have eaten and eaten and gained and gained through all that you have gone through.  I would suggest that you talk to either Dr. Walton, Dr. Brussard or Dr. Keller.  They care about you and would want to hear from you.  Sometimes we have the answers but we just need someone to listen.  You know what to do...depression is something I have dealt with in the past and continue to take medication for.  It would be no different than if you took high blood pressure medicine or insulin.  You most likely need it for a short time but if you do you do.  Just remember...you're human just as we all are.  God made us that way for a reason and he also gave you a very sensitive spirit.  You have been such an inspiration to me personally and I know many many others. 

I know that spring is just around the corner.  Our days will begin to get longer and that for me will be a God send.  The short daylight hours and leaving in the dark and getting home in the dark don't do much for my depression either.  Take care of yourself and just know that I CARE!!! 

Love ya (((huggs)))
Debbie

Hugs to all of you, and thank you for all your kind words and suggestions. I'm just feeling so incomplete right now. I guess all I can do is take one day at a time. Tomorrow will be a month since I lost my Dad. Just can't quite grasp it yet. I definately am going to start by getting all things out of my house that I shouldn't have. I really don't have that much, but what I do have keeps calling my name.And you know what? I don't even enjoy it. I think that is what makes me the maddest. I just feel all alone, and I know that I am not.My parents were my foundation and my rock, and while I am happy for them that they are in a better place and together, I just want to see and talk to them. I want to give them a hug and a kiss. I want them to tell me everything is gonna be okay. God bless each and every one of you. Rita

Rita,
I read your story and saw your wonderful pictures of your dad and I believe I know what he would say to your right now. And so I'm going to say it.   Keep your head up sweetheart.  Keep putting one foot in front of another and things WILL get better.

It's only been a short time.. What you are feeling is so very normal and right even though it is so hard.  There is nothing wrong with you, you are not weird or wrong to feel as you do.  Somtimes it helps me to put on some praise music, light some candles and get on my knees.. I may cry and cry but then I sleep the good sleep of a soul cleansed for the time being of grief.

Bless you sweetheart.  It's going to be okay....

Ok Rita this may sound weird but when family loses get to me or my mom we take a trip to the cemetary and have a long talk with the person. Yes I know they arent there but being close helps and we do this quite often I also aftentake them something they loved in life. Chocolate cherries for my grandpa, a beer for my uncle, Jack Daniels sample bottle for my cousin we lost in Iraq, Buttermilk for my grand ma it helps me keep them in my heart.  I pray that you ae eased and able to get a handle on this emotional trap that has you caught in a cirle. I will be thinking of you.

Rita, I am sorry to hear this. I know a couple of years ago I was at a very low depressing part of my life. I was faced with all of a sudden becoming a 32 yr old widow alone with two kids and I didnt feel like I could do nothing at all. Depression had me down even to the point that I was neglecting my kids of myself and love. I got to a low that I never want to experience again.  I didnt care about anything, and that included myself. I blamed him for dying and I was dealt a dose of condemnation for not being the wife that I should have. I allowed myself to get into addictive behaviors that didnt do a thing for my depression. Then one night I realized that I couldnt take care of myself and my kids in my own strength...I was hurting so bad and needed strength and unconditional love from someone who understood how I felt. I gave my life totally to the Lord and allowed him to help me get through those tough times. He didnt take me out of them, but he carried me through them. I for once in my life had hope and realized what I had still and I knew that He wouldnt put more on me than I could handle. I did recover from the bad place in my life, it took alot of talking to Him and being open. I got my life back, even in the absence of my husband. I realized that he loved me and this man has deposited sooo many things into my life that I am grateful for. I am grateful for the time, yet short, that we had together and I know that he was placed in my life for a reason. Every day that I look at my kids, I see him, God is amazing. He will always have a place in my heart...always. I will keep you in my prayers, and Rita fall into his arms and let him cover and love you....his ears are always open and he is strong enough to carry you through. Love and big Hugz

But those who wait upon the Lord
Shall renew their strength
They shall mount up with wings like eagles
They shall run and not be weary
They shall walk and not faint
                                                        Isaiah 40:31 

Hugz,
LaDetra

Hey Rita!  I am so sorry that you are going thru all this.  I lost my Mom in Aug. 06 from a long battle with ovarian cancer.  I still feel like she's just gone on vacation or something.  I still catch myself thinking I need to call her to share my day or something exciting that happened.  My Mom was the one person in this world who knew me.  Really knew the real me.  She always knew just what I was feeling and what to say to make me feel better about things.  She was always the first person I shared my good news with also because she was always happy for me and wanted the best for me. 

Although I have a very loving husband, dad and sister, I felt very alone in my grief because I wanted to be strong for them and not let them see me get down.  The thing that kept me going was knowing that Mom didn't want us to be sad because of her.  When she was sick, the only thing she was worried about was how her illness and death would effect all of us.  Whenever we talked about it, she was not afraid for herself or worried about what she would have to go thru, but what we would have to watch her go thru.  If she could be that strong for us, I could be strong for her and keep everyone going.  So anytime I start to feel down, I just imagine how it would hurt her for me to get down, and I'd have a good cry and that is a great release.

Everyone has posted some great ideas on things you should do.  I suggest you try them.  All of these ideas will help but there is not one single thing that will cure it.  I can tell you it does get easier as time goes by and the hurting will ease.  I can also tell you that your parents are together and they will always be with you, checking in on you.  If they are like my parents, they want you to be the happiest you can in your life and to live it to your fullest!

Just know what your are feeling is normal and you have all of us here for you! 

Love and God Bless!
Jen