OT - So Mad!! Need to Vent

So I had my surgery on March 21st - one day before my 40th Birthday.  My choice to have it then and not delay it.  I thought it was a pretty good present to myself and don't regret it at all. 

My family has been 100% supportive as they can.  My Dad doesn't really get it, but that is OK.  He has helped out tremendously with my son.

I was not paid while I was off so I had to come back to work 2 weeks post op.  I could have gone on EI, but financially that was not going to be possible.  I have an office job so there isn't a lot of physical work.  No one was going to be doing my job while I was away so the longer I was off, the more work there would be when I returned. 

My work didn't even call or send an e-mail on my birthday.  They also didn't call me until 3 days after I got home from the hospital and it was only to ask me what I wanted done with my pay cheque from the one week I did work.  I work in a small office of 6 people and they always celebrate birthdays with a cake and a long afternoon coffee break celebration.  I get that I wasn't here, but I would have thought someone of the 5 other people would have at least sent a message.  I didn't even get a Happy Belated Birthday when I got back.  My office is upstairs (no elevator) and they haven't once offered to bring up the mail or see if I needed anything.

Anyway to the part that pi$$ed me off the most.   I get to work this morning and my boss is setting up balloons and a sign on the front lawn.  I played dumb and thought - 'Oh maybe they are surprising me today'.  My heart kind of swelled and I thought wow that is really nice.  Well did I ever get a slap in the face.  There are two other staff members that are celebrating their birthday's this weekend.  The sign and balloons are for THEM!

I am exhausted so maybe I am overly emotional, but I just want to sit here and cry like a baby, not a 40 year old.  If it was the staff's family member or maybe even another staff member that did this it would be one thing, but the BOSS.  I guess I know where I rank now

Thanks for letting me rant - I am going to go an lick my wounds.

I can understand how you feel, I probably would have felt the same way. How does your office normally handle birthdays of someone who is off at the time? Maybe this surgery has a stigma where people who don't really know about it think privacy is an important aspect of it?
I think I would mention something to the person I felt closest to. My exes family always played this game of "remember when my birthday is or I won't speak to you for months". My least favourite game. Also, if you need help with tasks- ask.
I feel for you as I plan to go back to work 12 days after surgery...

Hi there

I totally understand where you are coming from. I work in a bigger office but have worked with these people for about 20 years.
When people are off for long periods or have family members pass away they are always taking a donation. When I had my wls nothing was done, when my Mom passed away nothing LOL
It was hurtful, but whatever.
I had my knee replaced in dec of last year, not one co worker phoned me. I had to e-mail to ask about something, but my so called friends here didn't even send me an e-mail, make a phone call. When one girl finally did call, she said "why haven't you called us" .................. hmmm, I did call her from the hospital and left a message.
They did send me a beautiful basket after I had been off six weeks LOL
Anyway, now you have me ranting LOL
Sometimes people just suck LOL

Didn't mean to take up your thread but you got me thinking
When I came back I just stopped doing other people's work like I had always done. I do my own(more than enough thank you )

Have a great day
Try not to let it get to you(ya listen to me LOL)

Take care

The last socially acceptable target of discrimination - the overweight person. It's wrong, but it's our cross to bear until attitudes change. And I don't see that happening in our lifetime.

Sorry you were treated that way. Try to focus on what your real friends (like the people here) say and do. Your coworkers are to be pitied for their classless behavior.

I hate to think the worst of people. But maybe they figured with you having surgery and being off they wouldnt do a cake since you wouldn't be able to enjoy it. But that doesn't mean they have to totally forget it either.

I would make a comment like "Gee I guess being off, my birthday was forgotten" I'd be dying to know why they forgot me, i'msure  there is a reasonable explanation. Doesn't make it right but my curiosity would get the better of me.

Sucks big time.

so HAPPY 40TH BIRTHDAY................  New year, new life....

I have to agree with Mister before me. These people are "just" co workers not family and clearly not friends. Maybe its time to draw the line in the sand and remember this time in your life when someone comes with that birthday card for you to sign. Mister is so correct, we are seen as the "fat people" and not valued for the people we are.
Stick with us here, your true support people.

Happy belated birthday       Ann

Much success on your weight lose journey

I feel for you!  I agree with the other posters, if you need help...ask!  Also, I think because we spend sooo much time with our co-workers that we think of them as friends.  I think there is a difference between our personal friends and our work friends "and never the twain shall meet"...or at least very rarely.  Maybe they don't know how to deal with your surgery, or figured, like I do in some cir****tances, that if I'm off work, I don't want to hear about work!  I'm sure they do care.

Anyway, happy belated 40th!!  Woohoo!!

Hi Kristie

Ah, I'm so sorry that your co-workers and boss made you feel so sad - that's so hurtful that they didn't acknowledge either your birthday or your surgery.  All I can think is that maybe they tried to gloss over it because they didn't know if you would want anyone talking about WLS - some people still feel there's a stigma attached to it. They also may not have wanted to do the whole celebration with cake because they probably thought that it would be in poor taste to offer cake to someone who just had WLS - who knows? I can definitely understand why you feel the way you do - I'd be very hurt also. My workplace was very good about sending flowers and cards when I had my hysterectomy, so I didn't experience that type of thing from them.  Try not to let it continue to get to you because you'll only be hurting yourself - just concentrate on how proud of yourself you are for having had this surgery.

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY TO YOU,  KRISTIE !!!!!!!!   

Deb

Seriously, I think you are overreacting.  It sounds as though they have always celebrated your birthday just like the others in the past.  This year on your birthday you were not there so no celebrating on the actual day and plus if you told them you were having WLS, would it not be inconsiderate of them to have a cake knowing that?  It is someone else's birthday obviously and it's time to celebrate theirs.  I went on mat leave 10 days before my birthday one year and guess what, no calls, cards or celebration for me that year and it wasn't a big deal, I wasn't at work so why would I expect it.

Happy Belated birthday - My office sends cards around to everyone too on their birthday and yesterday we had a cake for one guy - they totally forgot my birthday last month and i felt the same way as you.