So my surgery is on Friday and Wednesday is my last day of work. No one at work but one person knows what kind of surgery I am having. A few people have asked if they could ask what the surgery is and I have said "no" ,one person even said "it is not cancer is it?' of course I said no. But really it is getting harder and harder to avoid the question the closer my last day comes.
I don't know what to do as I am going to go back to work with a big weight lose then what do I say?
I want this to be private but it seems to be getting more difficult for me to pull it off.  Anyone have some been there done that advise?
thanks,
tata      

I didn't tell anyone pre-surgery.  I didn't want to hear "I know someone who died" or any crap like that.

I get why people ask - they are worried that you're really ill (or else they are just sick gossips).  I had that too - although I didn't even tell people (other than my boss) that I was having surgery until right before.  And then only if it came up.  Some people thought I had an emergancy surgery when I didn't come back to work. lol

I told people "I am having surgery Wednesday and will be off for a few weeks.  It's nothing major or life-threatening, just one of those kind of surgeries ladies my age sometimes need."  Everyone assumed it was "lady surgery" I think.

I had mine right before summer vacation (I'm a teacher) and then was off for two months.  So I came back MUCH thinner.  People asked - and I told them.  I'd just say "I had weight loss surgery" and then change the subject "How was your vacation?" Most got the hint to just shut up about it.

It depends on how open you want to be, before and after.  I'm in the same boat a bit - I'm not telling too many before, but afterwards, like you, there will be a significant change.  Perhaps something like 'stomach surgery' if you feel the need to say something, yet nothing, before you leave.  It's the return that's going to start the talk.

Then I think I will come forward.  Like you, I'm expecting the "Big C" inquiry, and want to stop that rumour before it starts.  I say it's better to put them straight right from the beginning, rather than try to stop the rumour train when it's in full steam.  But in the end, the decision is yours to make/secret to keep or share.

I also asked to allow me some privacy at work. On persistent soul got told if I came back sporting a perky set of "G" cup girls she would notice. (I am not big busted at all)

When she STILL persisted I winked and said that if the girls weren't up & obvious she could wonder all she wanted about my new penis!! LMAO

My team was only told that I was leaving two days before my final day and I still managed to keep it to myself.

I agree with Erica ... I didn't want the "my cousins sister in laws best friend knows someone who had that surgery and ... "



Chris

I had someone tell me - 4 months AFTER surgery "hey - you know that surgery is really dangerous?" lol. 

I said "REALLY!?!  Crap - where were you 4 months ago!?!"  People are dumb.

Good luck tomorrow Chris!!!

I have just been using the "I am having (or have had) surgery to deal with ongoing medical issues at the recommendation of my doctor" line.
Most have gotten the hint and dropped it, but some of the persistent ones I have had to say "please respect my privacy, my medical conditions and treatments are really none of your concern."

I'm lucky in that I can get away at my work without telling anyone about my absence ahead of time other than my immediate manager. She's great and as it is government, I know they won't ask questions beyond 'how long do you need' and I'm just going to ask for a general letter from the surgeon saying healing takes anywhere from 2-6 weeks, so I can go back whenever I feel up to it afterward (I work in court on a daily basis and don't want to risk any post-lunch embarrasments in the courtroom, I want to be back on relatively real food and comfortable with my new tool before going back to work). I, also, don't want to hear the hearsay from everyone with two cents, or worse before having the surgery. Afterward though, I plan to tell anyone at my office that asks. I really believe in the life changing/saving legitimacy of this surgery and and don't want to mislead anyone that the dramatic weight loss I'll be having is due to changes in diet and exercise alone. I'm not saying that this ought to be the approach everyone takes, and I am normally quite a private person, I just feel strongly that this surgery is nothing to be ashamed of and telling our story helps to educate others.

I didn't tell anyone at work what type of surgery I was having.  I had begun to lose weight months before in prep for the surgery, and my loss post-op has been more slow and steady, so nobody has noticed "rapid weight loss".  Everyone came to the assumption that it was "woman surgery" for me too, and I allowed, in fact nurtured that thought.

One very persistant person, I told that I had started to lose weight on the advise of my doctor prior to surgery, but the surgery was still necessary for my health.  And I left it at that...I don't think it's anyone's business but mine.

I told people I was having a surgery, and when they expressed concern, I just told them not to worry that it "was mostly preventative" and that I would be back in 4-6 weeks. Only one person actually asked me what the surgery was about, and I told him it was on my stomach. I think he assumed an ulcer.

I am sure as I lose more and more people will start to talk and make their guesses. But I have been vocal about really working on my halth this year, so others will assume it's just a diet thing.