BAD day!!!!
This morning, very early, we got a phone call from our oldest son in Winnipeg MB telling us that our youngest son (age 27) had died.. of a pulmonary embolism(or so the doctors think)...
The youngest son passed out in the shower 10 days ago.. sprained BOTH ankles.. he was a big guy.. 6ft 3in and 450 lbs.. morbidly obese.. he refused to go to hospital ER for xrays to determine if the ankles were sprained or broken.. one was worse than the other. We visited our sons july 6th to 8th in Winnipeg and he was still bedridden when we left for home.. his wife had preplanned a trip back to Ontario to visit her parents and had booked a return flight to winnpeg for early august and had NOT taken out trip insurance so she went ahead and flew to London from Winnipeg this past Wednesday.. at his insistence.. she is devastated..
The oldest son was looking in on the youngest one.. morning and evening before and after he went to work.. and then late last nite he got a call from our youngest son to please come by as the youngest son was passing out frequently.. so oldest son called ambulance and informed them that his brother needed medical attention and that he was tall and very very obese.. so that they would be prepared with necessary equipment to take him out of the basement apartment.
Prior to last nite the youngest son refused to go to ER for xrays, we presume he was too embarrassed about his obesity and the fact that it would be difficult for the ambulance guys to take him to hospital.. and his stubborness and embarrassment contributed to his death (IMHO).
The ER doctor suspects a pulmonary embolism, I suspect deep vein thrombosis from being bedridden for about 10 days.. which contributed to that embolism..
Needless to say the news was devastating to us.. but at the same time, in my heart I have worried for years that his morbid obesity would lead to an early death as he would not consider WLS and he would not stick to a diet regime.. he was stubborn.. and there was nothing I could say or do to persuade him to take better care of himself.. he was young and in his mind, more or less invincible.. til it was too late.. now his wife is heartbroken, as are my husband and my oldest son, and of course me.. PARENTS ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO OUTLIVE THEIR CHILDREN.
My other son is morbidly obese also.. he had gone on herbal magic and lost 213 lbs in 18 months and then when he went off the herbal stuff they give you, he gained it all back in a short period of time.. I have talked to him several times about considering WLS as he cannot lose the weight by diet alone.. he is 33.. and I don't want to see his life cut short due to obesity related issues.. my youngest son's death was, in my opinion, directly related to obesity issues as he could not weight bear on two sprained ankles.. with a weight of 450lbs or more.. and he was too embarrassed about his obesity to call an ambulance for help to get medical attention and he was adamant that he would not call for help.. til it was too late and last nite he succumbed to adverse effects from immobility due to obesity and sprained ankles.. a blood clot did him in..
autopsy results will undoubtedly verify this fact..
Right now I am in shock.. hurting, stressed and all cried out, and trying not to eat forbidden foods etc.. have not been able to follow regular dietary regime due to having to take sudden flight to winnipeg, and such.. so have had to rely on protein shakes for quick meals to try to get protein in and avoid fast foods etc.. I could use any and all support or advice you can give on how to handle this whole mess..
its hard being the strong one in the marriage as hubby is devastated and does not handle death well.. being an old nurse I manage to present a calm and reasonably sane appearance but inside I am struggling with the grief..
thanks for "listening"
suzyq0052
The youngest son passed out in the shower 10 days ago.. sprained BOTH ankles.. he was a big guy.. 6ft 3in and 450 lbs.. morbidly obese.. he refused to go to hospital ER for xrays to determine if the ankles were sprained or broken.. one was worse than the other. We visited our sons july 6th to 8th in Winnipeg and he was still bedridden when we left for home.. his wife had preplanned a trip back to Ontario to visit her parents and had booked a return flight to winnpeg for early august and had NOT taken out trip insurance so she went ahead and flew to London from Winnipeg this past Wednesday.. at his insistence.. she is devastated..
The oldest son was looking in on the youngest one.. morning and evening before and after he went to work.. and then late last nite he got a call from our youngest son to please come by as the youngest son was passing out frequently.. so oldest son called ambulance and informed them that his brother needed medical attention and that he was tall and very very obese.. so that they would be prepared with necessary equipment to take him out of the basement apartment.
Prior to last nite the youngest son refused to go to ER for xrays, we presume he was too embarrassed about his obesity and the fact that it would be difficult for the ambulance guys to take him to hospital.. and his stubborness and embarrassment contributed to his death (IMHO).
The ER doctor suspects a pulmonary embolism, I suspect deep vein thrombosis from being bedridden for about 10 days.. which contributed to that embolism..
Needless to say the news was devastating to us.. but at the same time, in my heart I have worried for years that his morbid obesity would lead to an early death as he would not consider WLS and he would not stick to a diet regime.. he was stubborn.. and there was nothing I could say or do to persuade him to take better care of himself.. he was young and in his mind, more or less invincible.. til it was too late.. now his wife is heartbroken, as are my husband and my oldest son, and of course me.. PARENTS ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO OUTLIVE THEIR CHILDREN.
My other son is morbidly obese also.. he had gone on herbal magic and lost 213 lbs in 18 months and then when he went off the herbal stuff they give you, he gained it all back in a short period of time.. I have talked to him several times about considering WLS as he cannot lose the weight by diet alone.. he is 33.. and I don't want to see his life cut short due to obesity related issues.. my youngest son's death was, in my opinion, directly related to obesity issues as he could not weight bear on two sprained ankles.. with a weight of 450lbs or more.. and he was too embarrassed about his obesity to call an ambulance for help to get medical attention and he was adamant that he would not call for help.. til it was too late and last nite he succumbed to adverse effects from immobility due to obesity and sprained ankles.. a blood clot did him in..
autopsy results will undoubtedly verify this fact..
Right now I am in shock.. hurting, stressed and all cried out, and trying not to eat forbidden foods etc.. have not been able to follow regular dietary regime due to having to take sudden flight to winnipeg, and such.. so have had to rely on protein shakes for quick meals to try to get protein in and avoid fast foods etc.. I could use any and all support or advice you can give on how to handle this whole mess..
its hard being the strong one in the marriage as hubby is devastated and does not handle death well.. being an old nurse I manage to present a calm and reasonably sane appearance but inside I am struggling with the grief..
thanks for "listening"
suzyq0052
Suzy my heart goes out to you and your family. I am sorry for your loss. It's very upsetting to know that being embarrassed caused a man to pass way to early. Just remember break down when you need to break down. It's not good to hold it all in. Cry, listen and just enjoy the stories that ppl have to share.
I'm just lost for words. My deepest sympathy to you and your family.
His story reflects me in some ways as I to would never call for help due to my weight. Two years ago I had a serious episode that resulted in my children calling an ambulance and I was so embarrassed to have them put my on a stretcher and insisted they let me walk.
I woke up 2 days later, admitted in hospital and realized then and ther I had to make a change.
It is my wish that every overweight person see and feel this pain and realize they are important in someone's life and they need to seek help.
Bless you and your Loved Ones.
His story reflects me in some ways as I to would never call for help due to my weight. Two years ago I had a serious episode that resulted in my children calling an ambulance and I was so embarrassed to have them put my on a stretcher and insisted they let me walk.
I woke up 2 days later, admitted in hospital and realized then and ther I had to make a change.
It is my wish that every overweight person see and feel this pain and realize they are important in someone's life and they need to seek help.
Bless you and your Loved Ones.
Wendy Luxton
I am so very, very sorry for your loss! I just can't imagine what you are going through. I hope that it is not all in vain, and your eldest son, draws enough strength to make sure his health improves.
To you, your family, your son's wife and all devasted, I send the biggest condolences and big hugs!
To you, your family, your son's wife and all devasted, I send the biggest condolences and big hugs!
Sandy
"The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up"
Mark Twain 
Dear Suzy,
This is so sad, it's hard to watch the ones we love suffer and refuse help, but you did all you can for him. Perhaps your strong will for your surgery can help your other son see that there is hope.
My prayers are there for you, be strong, focus on your goal, do it for your son, he would be proud.
Sue
This is so sad, it's hard to watch the ones we love suffer and refuse help, but you did all you can for him. Perhaps your strong will for your surgery can help your other son see that there is hope.
My prayers are there for you, be strong, focus on your goal, do it for your son, he would be proud.
Sue
Surgery Sept 13th 2011 Dr. Hagen
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