Friday Night Funny
The Ten Rules of Life:
Number 10 – Life is sexually transmitted.
Number 9 – Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
Number 8 – Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich .
Number 7 – Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and they won’t bother you for weeks, months, maybe years.
Number 6 – Some people are like a Slinky-not really good for anything, but you still can’t help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.
Number 5 – Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospitals, dying of nothing.
Number 4 – All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
Number 3 – Why does a slight tax increase cost you $800.00, and a substantial tax cut saves you $30.00?
Number 2 – In the 60’s, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
And The Number 1 – Life is like a jar of Jalapeno peppers. What you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.
“Don’t worry about old age – it doesn’t last that long."
Number 10 – Life is sexually transmitted.
Number 9 – Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
Number 8 – Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich .
Number 7 – Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and they won’t bother you for weeks, months, maybe years.
Number 6 – Some people are like a Slinky-not really good for anything, but you still can’t help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.
Number 5 – Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospitals, dying of nothing.
Number 4 – All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
Number 3 – Why does a slight tax increase cost you $800.00, and a substantial tax cut saves you $30.00?
Number 2 – In the 60’s, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
And The Number 1 – Life is like a jar of Jalapeno peppers. What you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.
“Don’t worry about old age – it doesn’t last that long."

Beth
Former RNY patient revising to Sleeve then DS.
Appts: Dietitian - January 21/19; July 16/19, August 13/19, September 17/19, October 15/19; Social Worker: August 23/19; DS Orientation: March 20/19; Internist: September 30/19; Surgeon: November 13/19 (signed consent).
Surgery Date: February 28/20.
MY RNY DIDN'T FAIL ME - I FAILED IT.