8 months-long-pics
Although I pop in every couple of days, I have been so incredibly busy that I haven't posted in months. The short version is that I am the chief negotiator for a education sector group, so if you follow provincial politics you will understand how complicated my life is right now! And before this all started I signed up for an intensive online course, so time for extras is at a minimum right now! The good part is that I have more energy than I have ever had, so life is good!
So I will start by saying congrats to all who have had surgery, experienced NSVs and SVs, joined the queue for surgery or had anything else to celebrate!!!!
The numbers are good. My highest weight ever was 360 pounds. When I had surgery I weight 280. I now weigh 190!! In ten more pounds I will weigh 100 less than surgery and half of my highest weight...an accomplishment I had never dreamed of achieving but is now so close I can taste it! I have lost 64 inches overall. I measure faithfully and even when the weight loss slows, the inches always go down.
It hasn't been an entirely smooth road lately. I have gone through one major stall. I didn't lose a pound for over a month. It was a little frustrating, but I tried really hard to stay focussed and eventually the scale started moving again. The worst part was that the stall happened when I was 204, so I was anxiously waiting for that milestone of onederland. Since then things have been moving along pretty good, athough I did have another two week period since with only a .2 pound loss overall.
I think the hardest part has been the damaged skin. I expected it, but had no idea how bad it would get. In clothes I look fabulous. Naked I look like a deflated balloon. I really don't spend a lot of time dwelling on it, but I know plastic surgery is in my future (very distant future though!). My daughter starts university in the fall, but once she is done, the plastic surgery fund will start. I don't think it is even possible to descibe how bad it is. I expected batwings, but I didn't expect the arm skin to fold down toward the ground when my arms are by my side. I expected loose thigh skin, but I didn't expect folds of skin drooping down over my knees. I expected my boobs to shrink, but I didn't expect that I would be able to fold them completely in half because they are so deflated. I didn't expect so much loose skin on my back that when I lay on my side it folds over and touches like the crease on a bum. The only good part is my neck, which has tightened up much better than I expected. But it is all good, I would do the surgery again in a heartbeat...loose skin is a small price to pay...
The best part is my discovery that I actually like exercise! I have spent my entire life avoiding physical activity. Even as a kid I would play with my dolls before I would play a game of tag. I wasn't always obese, so it is not because exercise was always so difficult and painful, I just hated it. I hated sweating and I would get leg cramps and side cramps very easily. Now, I hate sitting still. I still haven't taken the plunge to join a gym, but I might do that for the summer. I have been so busy it would have been wasted money anyway. But I love to walk and do it regularily. I have even given jogging a try. I still feel very awkward jogging and I am very slow. In fact, my dog doesn't even have to jog to keep up with me!! But it gets my heart rate up, even with a short sprint, which makes my overall walk more productive. We don't have a running room, but I have heard there are "learn to run" workshops at our local arena, so I might sign up in the fall. I also hope to take adult swimming lessons in the fall. I know how to float, do the doggie paddle, tread water and play around in the water, but I never learned how to swim properly. Now that I have lost so much weight I am not nearly as bouyant in the water and have to work harder to stay afloat! I would really like to learn to swim, so that is on my list.
I really haven't had much difficulty with eating. I had one dumping episode fairly early out, ate sausage which is too high in fat. I think I had something get stuck once recently. I was eating peaches and I was talking with a group at the same time and suddenly my face started to sweat and I felt nauseous. My heart started to race and I really felt like I was going to throw up. I went to the bathroom and took some deep breaths and after about five minutes the feeling passed. I had only had about three bites, and I eat peaches all the time, so I assume I didn't chew well enough and something got a little stuck. I have been much more careful since. I have also had a few issues with drinking too fast lately. I need to remind myself to take small sips. It can be quite uncomfortable, even painful, when I drink too much too fast. I also had a lesson in why we don't drink right after eating recently. I had just finished dinner and there was a flavour in my mouth from a spice that I didn't like. I grabbed a glass and poured a small glass of milk (only about two ounces) and I drank it. I immediately got my first case of the foamies! What a horrible feeling...felt like I was going to gag. Next time I will just rinse my mouth with water or brush my teeth!!!
My vitamin levels have been good. I was slightly low in iron at 3 months, but it was back up at six months. I have gotten into a good routine with vitamins and don't really find them a chore at all. In fact, since I haven't had anything sweet since surgery (not even going for no sugar added chocolates or candy, afraid it might be a slippery slope for me), my vitamins have become my little sweet fix. I have always hated swallowing pills, so I am happy to be on chewable vitamins forever!
I get double takes regularly now. The weight loss is so dramatic that people have to comment. I have honestly had nothing but positive feedback. I tell everyone about my sugery and I haven't even had a raised eyebrow! Everyone is very happy for me. I keep a picture in my purse from my highest weight and one from my surgery weight so I can remind myself (and show people who didn't know me then) about my overall transformation. I am very proud of what I have done. My family comments on how I look more like I did when I was a kid. I have had several occassions where I had to "introduce" myself to someone I have known for years because they didn't recognize me. It feels good! One of my colleagues has started the process because she has seen my transformation and she wants it too! I am so thrilled for her and can't wait to watch her transform too!
I am still finding it hard to shop. I have a hard time wrapping my head around the fact that I am no longer plus size. I have no shorts and went into a penningtons the other day to see if they had any. When I told the sales lady I was looking for shorts she said, "do you know what size she wears?" It took me a second to realize she thought I was shopping for someone else! When I told her it was for me, she said she doubted even the smallest size would fit! I did end up getting one pair in a size X, but it has a drawstring, so I can make them work longer. I went to VV and bought a few pair in a size 14. They are all a little tight right now, but will fit by summer. I fit into most size 16s right now. I bought one pair of capris in a 14 that fit. At my highest wore 5x tops and pants, at surgery I wore 3x tops and 28-30 pants.
The hairloss has completely stopped and my hair is nice and thick again.
For the longest time I was freezing cold all the time. The nurse told me it was all of my hormones out of whack. I guess she was right because it has leveled out. My body seems to match the outside temperature now. If it is warm out, I am warm, if it is cold out, I am cold. I don't sweat anywhere close to how much I sweated before. When temps got into the 20s and up, I walked around with soaking wet hair from sweat. Now, I get a little damp on my forehead and upper lip and under my arms, but that is just normal sweating to me!
I was always pretty sure they existed, but I now have proof that I have bones!!! I can see the ones on my neck and in my hands and feet. I can feel the ribs when I am laying down. My dimples have reappeared too! I also have a lap...I can put a plate on it, a laptop, a child...without the fear that they will fall off the too narrow ledge!
I think the best thing that has disappeared is my fear. Fear of breaking chairs, fear of being ridiculed, fear of not fitting (in a spot or in society), fear of not being able to keep up...just no more fear!
I am sure I could think of a thousand more tidbits to share, but this has already taken me half an hour to write! I need to get back to work :( I'll try not to stay away so long. Summer is almost here, which should give me some relief from my workload...
Tracy
This is a picture of me with my grandpa (93 years young!).
This is from a couple of years ago, but at the same weight as pre-surgery.
So I will start by saying congrats to all who have had surgery, experienced NSVs and SVs, joined the queue for surgery or had anything else to celebrate!!!!
The numbers are good. My highest weight ever was 360 pounds. When I had surgery I weight 280. I now weigh 190!! In ten more pounds I will weigh 100 less than surgery and half of my highest weight...an accomplishment I had never dreamed of achieving but is now so close I can taste it! I have lost 64 inches overall. I measure faithfully and even when the weight loss slows, the inches always go down.
It hasn't been an entirely smooth road lately. I have gone through one major stall. I didn't lose a pound for over a month. It was a little frustrating, but I tried really hard to stay focussed and eventually the scale started moving again. The worst part was that the stall happened when I was 204, so I was anxiously waiting for that milestone of onederland. Since then things have been moving along pretty good, athough I did have another two week period since with only a .2 pound loss overall.
I think the hardest part has been the damaged skin. I expected it, but had no idea how bad it would get. In clothes I look fabulous. Naked I look like a deflated balloon. I really don't spend a lot of time dwelling on it, but I know plastic surgery is in my future (very distant future though!). My daughter starts university in the fall, but once she is done, the plastic surgery fund will start. I don't think it is even possible to descibe how bad it is. I expected batwings, but I didn't expect the arm skin to fold down toward the ground when my arms are by my side. I expected loose thigh skin, but I didn't expect folds of skin drooping down over my knees. I expected my boobs to shrink, but I didn't expect that I would be able to fold them completely in half because they are so deflated. I didn't expect so much loose skin on my back that when I lay on my side it folds over and touches like the crease on a bum. The only good part is my neck, which has tightened up much better than I expected. But it is all good, I would do the surgery again in a heartbeat...loose skin is a small price to pay...
The best part is my discovery that I actually like exercise! I have spent my entire life avoiding physical activity. Even as a kid I would play with my dolls before I would play a game of tag. I wasn't always obese, so it is not because exercise was always so difficult and painful, I just hated it. I hated sweating and I would get leg cramps and side cramps very easily. Now, I hate sitting still. I still haven't taken the plunge to join a gym, but I might do that for the summer. I have been so busy it would have been wasted money anyway. But I love to walk and do it regularily. I have even given jogging a try. I still feel very awkward jogging and I am very slow. In fact, my dog doesn't even have to jog to keep up with me!! But it gets my heart rate up, even with a short sprint, which makes my overall walk more productive. We don't have a running room, but I have heard there are "learn to run" workshops at our local arena, so I might sign up in the fall. I also hope to take adult swimming lessons in the fall. I know how to float, do the doggie paddle, tread water and play around in the water, but I never learned how to swim properly. Now that I have lost so much weight I am not nearly as bouyant in the water and have to work harder to stay afloat! I would really like to learn to swim, so that is on my list.
I really haven't had much difficulty with eating. I had one dumping episode fairly early out, ate sausage which is too high in fat. I think I had something get stuck once recently. I was eating peaches and I was talking with a group at the same time and suddenly my face started to sweat and I felt nauseous. My heart started to race and I really felt like I was going to throw up. I went to the bathroom and took some deep breaths and after about five minutes the feeling passed. I had only had about three bites, and I eat peaches all the time, so I assume I didn't chew well enough and something got a little stuck. I have been much more careful since. I have also had a few issues with drinking too fast lately. I need to remind myself to take small sips. It can be quite uncomfortable, even painful, when I drink too much too fast. I also had a lesson in why we don't drink right after eating recently. I had just finished dinner and there was a flavour in my mouth from a spice that I didn't like. I grabbed a glass and poured a small glass of milk (only about two ounces) and I drank it. I immediately got my first case of the foamies! What a horrible feeling...felt like I was going to gag. Next time I will just rinse my mouth with water or brush my teeth!!!
My vitamin levels have been good. I was slightly low in iron at 3 months, but it was back up at six months. I have gotten into a good routine with vitamins and don't really find them a chore at all. In fact, since I haven't had anything sweet since surgery (not even going for no sugar added chocolates or candy, afraid it might be a slippery slope for me), my vitamins have become my little sweet fix. I have always hated swallowing pills, so I am happy to be on chewable vitamins forever!
I get double takes regularly now. The weight loss is so dramatic that people have to comment. I have honestly had nothing but positive feedback. I tell everyone about my sugery and I haven't even had a raised eyebrow! Everyone is very happy for me. I keep a picture in my purse from my highest weight and one from my surgery weight so I can remind myself (and show people who didn't know me then) about my overall transformation. I am very proud of what I have done. My family comments on how I look more like I did when I was a kid. I have had several occassions where I had to "introduce" myself to someone I have known for years because they didn't recognize me. It feels good! One of my colleagues has started the process because she has seen my transformation and she wants it too! I am so thrilled for her and can't wait to watch her transform too!
I am still finding it hard to shop. I have a hard time wrapping my head around the fact that I am no longer plus size. I have no shorts and went into a penningtons the other day to see if they had any. When I told the sales lady I was looking for shorts she said, "do you know what size she wears?" It took me a second to realize she thought I was shopping for someone else! When I told her it was for me, she said she doubted even the smallest size would fit! I did end up getting one pair in a size X, but it has a drawstring, so I can make them work longer. I went to VV and bought a few pair in a size 14. They are all a little tight right now, but will fit by summer. I fit into most size 16s right now. I bought one pair of capris in a 14 that fit. At my highest wore 5x tops and pants, at surgery I wore 3x tops and 28-30 pants.
The hairloss has completely stopped and my hair is nice and thick again.
For the longest time I was freezing cold all the time. The nurse told me it was all of my hormones out of whack. I guess she was right because it has leveled out. My body seems to match the outside temperature now. If it is warm out, I am warm, if it is cold out, I am cold. I don't sweat anywhere close to how much I sweated before. When temps got into the 20s and up, I walked around with soaking wet hair from sweat. Now, I get a little damp on my forehead and upper lip and under my arms, but that is just normal sweating to me!
I was always pretty sure they existed, but I now have proof that I have bones!!! I can see the ones on my neck and in my hands and feet. I can feel the ribs when I am laying down. My dimples have reappeared too! I also have a lap...I can put a plate on it, a laptop, a child...without the fear that they will fall off the too narrow ledge!
I think the best thing that has disappeared is my fear. Fear of breaking chairs, fear of being ridiculed, fear of not fitting (in a spot or in society), fear of not being able to keep up...just no more fear!
I am sure I could think of a thousand more tidbits to share, but this has already taken me half an hour to write! I need to get back to work :( I'll try not to stay away so long. Summer is almost here, which should give me some relief from my workload...
Tracy
This is a picture of me with my grandpa (93 years young!).
This is from a couple of years ago, but at the same weight as pre-surgery.
Highest weight ~ 360, Surgery weight ~ 280, Current weight ~ 171
Referral to bariatric registry ~ April 29, 2011 SURGERY ~ September 27, 2011
My 
is Gailupnorth.
Tracy, first of all, you look great! You did an amazing job, and you do look great in clothes.
Thanks you also for sharing the "hanging skin" part, I think I needed to hear that! I am at 360 and expecting to have hanging skin, but I wasn't thinking as much as you mention. It is good to have your feedback on the matter!
Continue your journey and be proud of yourself and many thanks to you for sharing this with us.
Karine
Thanks you also for sharing the "hanging skin" part, I think I needed to hear that! I am at 360 and expecting to have hanging skin, but I wasn't thinking as much as you mention. It is good to have your feedback on the matter!
Continue your journey and be proud of yourself and many thanks to you for sharing this with us.
Karine
Gastroscopy: May 26th 2012 SW + HW 360
Labs: May 30th 2012 Post opti 341.2
SD: June 25th 2012 Post op 338.6
Thanks for sharing Tracy. Glad to hear that all is well in your world.
I think that if OHIP would cover the removal of excess skin post-op that this experience would be perfect because it's the only thing that we can't control but that continues to negatively impact our self-image.
Keep up the good work and we hope to hear from you more often.
I think that if OHIP would cover the removal of excess skin post-op that this experience would be perfect because it's the only thing that we can't control but that continues to negatively impact our self-image.
Keep up the good work and we hope to hear from you more often.
So happy to hear things are going well. Skin is an issue for me too. Wish the boobs were not the first to deflate. Buying bras has been a challenge. Have to find ones that fit the extra side skin!
Think I look great in clothes, can deal with the skin for now. Love shopping
Think I look great in clothes, can deal with the skin for now. Love shopping
Referral: August 2010 Orientation TWH: May 25, 2011 NP: June 8/11, f/u sleep clinic June 7, abd u/s June 14, SW: June 28/11 Nutrition Class: July 5/11, Dietician Aug 09, Psychologist Aug 25 Surgeon Sept 16th Surgery Date: Oct 11/11 HW:287, Opti wt: 260 SW: 242
My Angel is Sheri TK
thank you for sharing!! That was a great update on how you are doing and you look fantastic in your pics as well.
Steph
Steph
Referral: Aug 3, 2010 Info Session: Dec 12, 2011
Nurse Appt: Jan 30, 2012 Diet/Nut Appt: Feb 8, 2012
Surgery Class: Jan 24, 2012
Meet Surgeon: Feb 8,2012 Start Optifast: April 24, 2012
Surgery Date: May 8, 2012
Nurse Appt: Jan 30, 2012 Diet/Nut Appt: Feb 8, 2012
Surgery Class: Jan 24, 2012
Meet Surgeon: Feb 8,2012 Start Optifast: April 24, 2012
Surgery Date: May 8, 2012
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