Judgementalism

i think, what Jenn meant, (and most certainly what I meant) is that bullies don't USUALLY become bullies just out of the blue. They've got some inner pain from something (whether it be learning it from their parents, or from something like sexual abuse)

They deserve compassion, not retribution (other than limit setting, to help them realize that their behaviour is not an appropriate way of dealing with their emotions).

Your son learned, from whoever perpretated that abuse, is that the weak can be victimized. And he didn't want to be the weak one any onger.

I'm so glad for your son that he's doing well now. Due to compassion from his mother.

I certainly did not mean to judge parents, i think we all do the best we know how to do (for some people, unfortunately, their best is pretty poor).

Thanks Monica...

I think that Monica stated it exactly correctly in that regardless of your very unfortunate situation, children learn to be bullies some way or another. And what I did also say was that we need to feel sorry for them....or perhapsshould  rather have said to feel compassion for...these children. They are obviously hurting in some way or another....from any form of abuse at home - or wherever - physical, verbal, mental or other. Bullies are created, not born. I try to teach my children that they are feeling pain, of some sort, and that's why they act out. I think they key to trying to get along in this world is simply to be able to think about things from another's perspective. 

A great book on the subject is by Jodi Piccoult : 19 minutes.  

I agree with you Karen. As someone with a weight problem, I can beat myself up enough over and over and over. So when I come here I hope I can have support and feel among those who understand.

And what do we see on the news this morning? I guess the guy has more guts than he is given credit for....

(As quoted from CHCH News)
"Well it turns out that Rob Ford isn't done with his Cut the Waist Challenge yet. Sunday on his weekly radio show he said he was done with his weekly weigh-ins and the diet. He said that his reaction was because his brother Doug was frustrating him with some little digs, but he went on to say he has never qut anything in his life, so he says he will continue his diet but in private,but he will show up for the final weigh in on........ June 18th, and he is 30 pounds lighter than when he started this thing."

So much in the public eye. He may have spoken in frustration. He may have wanted to quit. But it would appear that he is simply going to do this in a way that works for him.

For me, that is similar to my journey. I fall, I blow it, I have to change my plan, but I won't give up.

i wish him all the luck in the world. at least he picked himself up again.

can't wait till he gets to be a buff a*****e

his brother Doug is cut from the same cloth, isn't he?

you took the words right out of my mouth...

Totally agree Karen!!

I have heard some pretty "not so nice" things come out of some people's mouth and I have actually spoke and told them to shut it. The response i get is not what I expect, people see me as small and some don't know that I was bigger before and then they say not-so-nice comments to me... it's weird.
Sometimes if I know the person well enough, I will really let them have it and them show them what I used to look like; they change their tune after that.

Some people.....

Totally agree and like Leanne, I've had people right in front of me making comments, that are down right rude, that should definitely remember me as being obese.  I was so caught off guard that I didn't say anything at the time, but I'll tell you, their stock went way down in my mind they will definitely get an earful if I ever hear it again.  It's hard to believe just how shallow some people are.  Like some of the other comments, that is not the way I raised my kids and I am damn proud of how they turned out!

When Karen first posted (yesterday) about Rob Ford quitting his public dieting/weigh-ins, I had begun typing a response - and I will admit (with chagrin) that it was pretty nasty.

That's because I've met Mr. Ford (twice) and dealt with him on a couple of occasions for city business.

I did not post that reply because I felt it was inappropriate. This is a public forum.
My personal feelings about a politician should not be aired in public especially when the forum is ABOUT a different issue.

Weight is not just an image issue, as we all know. It is about health. It always comes back to health.
If someone is unhealthy, they need support and help. If the lack of good health is caused by abusive or addictive behaviours, they still need support and help. Period.

And most of you are MUCH kinder than I - and seem to be instilling good values in your kids as well. Kudos.

We all need to be reminded to be kind from time to time - and I've taken the hint.
Thanks all.