Rude awaking

oh sweetie.... hugs. That's so hard to hear. I remember thinking that maybe all the "feeling left out" i felt was in my head, and as i lost weight, i realized it wasn't totally just in me, it was out there, too.

Hugs.

Well, honesty hurts like hell. I was crushed by some comments that I've heard from my so called friends. My closest best friend looked at me when I told her, and said as long as I wasn't skinnier than her on her wedding day. What the heck is that all about. Cruel horrible and are you kidding! I feel as though I've been the FAT friend this whole time, her security blanket in case her little butt gained a pound or two. So we've only got together for birthdays in the last year since I shared my news of surgery and now my past surgery. Our life change is not only our bodies losing weight and getting better, but our life outside our bodies too, get rid of dead weight, those who can't see the amazing people we are inside!! Wanna go for coffee someday, I'm there, we need genuine friends!

Thanks Robin, I had that from someone I work with who I told. Didn't take it on because we are just friendly co workers.. Just got chuckle out of. Never stops surprising me

This is all part of the journey! We would be kidding ourselves if we allow ourselves to think that our fat selfs did not in some ways inconvenience others... He'll it inconveniences us! Sooner or later your friends and family will spill the beans on how your weight problem effected them. I think that you are lucky to have friends who have the balls to be honest with you. Friends who are honest are worth their weight in gold! Friends who blow smoke up your ass are the ones to watch out for.., those are the ones who don't want to see you succeed.. So although the truth is hard to hear, use their words as motivation and look forward to no longer being "left out"!
My wife told me she felt deprived of her love of many activities after I gained enough that we could no longer do them (hiking, theme parks, backpacking...) it stung but now just about 6 weeks post op and we are hiking again... And you know what?
It feels amazing!
Tough love and honest is true love! Your friends care and want you to succeed! Cherish that!

I know some of my friend are awesome support, my best friend Bev is amazing. Went to orientation with me, reading books, watching YouTube stuff. She did say she can't wait for me to be thinner so we can travel more and theme parks. But I know she loves me and she wants me to have those experience with her..

Some people need someone to be " worst " then them.

It all is a wide eye experience.

I can't wait to go hiking and rowing

Like some others have said, you're doing this for YOU...not for them.   Yeah some friends may need to learn to be a little more tactful with their words and genuinely want you to be happy and succeed....as for those who like to suck the happiness out of you, call them on it or else say buh-bye.   Constant negativity is a form of stress and what does stress do to some of us here who are still learning how to cope with it?  Binge eat, and/or do any other harm to your health and body, etc. 

There's over 7 billion people on this planet who can be more supportive and happy for you and you deserve it!   You're changing your life for the better and if it comes to it, that includes better friends 

So I read this and thought...oh your friends think they are being nice and think that you sure the same view. I have to say, that when they said that they wanted to set you up on dates b/c you have a nice face but are too fat...I was shocked. I actually gasped, and I felt like I got punched in the stomach!!  I am shocked that people really don't think before they speak.

I have no clue why the even spoke on setting me up. I date more then my skinny / thin friends. I maybe overweight, but I'm completely comfortable dating and been actively dating. So that statement pissed me off..

Mandy, I don't blame you for being pissed off.  It's funny, because now that I'm a lot thinner than I was, I'm noticing a couple of friends from work saying really judgemental things about OTHER fat people - stuff they would never have said in front of me before surgery.  It's like they now feel safe saying these things in front of me now that I've lost so much weight.  They do things like watching their plates to see how much they're eating (especially if they unapologetically load up at a buffet) and gossip about it.  One of them has taken to saying, "Sorry, but..." in front of me before making some sort of comment like that, as if that excuses it.  And every time, I say, "I don't know why you feel the need to police other people's plates - how is it your business?"  I don't give an inch.  So sick of the fatphobia, and it really sucks when people think you're going to agree with them.

From your friends' comments, the one I find really unforgiveable is the one about how now they can set you up on dates.  The other ones, I can see as them celebrating that you'll have increased mobility, which is true - I have much more mobility, I can fit in any seat in any restaurant or theatre (something I couldn't do before surgery), could probably fit on amusement park rides now, etc.  It wasn't very SENSITIVE of them to say it in a way that sounds like you held them back before, but it sounds to me more like they're celebrating future NSV's in advance.

But the dating comment is gross.  I got married to my beloved at 320 lbs, and I looked ******g fabulous at my wedding, and he adored me then and he adores me now.  I would be telling your friends not to bother setting you up with shallow ******** who wouldn't be able to fall in love with you as you are now.  You'll find your own dates, thanks.

Oh, and PS, having met you a couple of weeks ago (hope you can make it tonight!) at the coffee night, I can tell you that you're absolutely beautiful right now.  Anyone who wouldn't date you now isn't worth dating.

Thanks hunny,
That was how I was feeling, I don't wanna be with one of their male friends if they only see my dress size