Question for single people w no family

Thank you hun, I'm gonna try and make it out to Danforth again soon.

I know I'm not alone, I have made lovely friends via OH.

 just trying to figure out how to handle the laid up time.  I'm gonna come home and be on my own. Wanting tips for how to deal with it. 

You don't have a friend you can have come by to see how you are or if you make OH or friends at support groups have them come by or get telephone number to text or call them if you need them. I know that is what others have done. 

Orginally I had a couple of girl friends game to come stay w me the first couple of days, drop in etc.

but during the process of this two of them are now pregnant. Lol. One will be 8 mths at time of surgery and she is having a rough pregnancy. So she is out. Lol

second friend also is pregnant. Will be 6 mths at surgery, right now she is having a rocky time also,and they just moved to Ajax. Expect for day of surgery and discharge I don't expect to see her, and I totally understand to.

my best friend has been in " remission" for MS, no active symptoms for over a 1.5. Until recently is having returning issues. I normally take care of her, I pray she doesn't progress anymore and goes back into remission. Because she won't be able to take care of herself if it returns worse.

Really,,, how much help am I gonna need? Honestly?

I honestly didn't need any help when I got home on a Friday.  I was very lucky.  Was out shopping the following day at Costco and then went into work on the Monday for a few hours.  I know not everyone is that lucky and you don't know until the time comes if you need any help.  The main thing is no lifting-so make sure your groceries and everything are all stocked up before you go to the hospital. 

I live alone and after surgery I went to stay at my parents for 2.5 days then was happy to go to my own place :)

My parents are great, supportive and caring but honestly I really just wanted to get back to my place to get into my new routine. I chatted with friends, was at support group 5 days out from surgery. Every person is different but you are probably going to want to find your new routine and find what your "new normal" is going to look like. 

The support groups are great and people have become really good friends.

I live alone.  My mom stayed with me the first night home but I didn't need her there after that.  I took 3 weeks off work but could easily have gone back to work after 2 weeks.  I have a desk job and found that I needed a nap for about an hour after work for the first month. After that life was back to normal.

Thank you. Appreciate that info :)

Hi there!      So here is a suggestion for you to try . I read it in a book recently.   When I had the surgery done I was married so I did have support so I can't speak from specific experience of immediately post surgery.  However I am now freshly separated and living with my cat.    

Anyway, the book I was reading was on how to handle separation.  One of the things I read was that you feel like a burden to your friends to be talking about the situation.. Even though we have to reach out and get that support, it can be draining and uncomfortable for the people (whether they are family or friends) to always be there for you.   So, the book suggests you spread them out.  In other words, you take control.  Call one friend this week and invite them over to visit you.    Next week call another friend and invite them over to visit you.    etc etc.  The concept is that all friends and family are willing to help and support but they can't necessarily do it every week. So get your support but you spread it out. That way a friend who helped/visited you in week #1 doesn't have to be tapped into again for several weeks.     You will feel better that you have reached out and gained some support and yet you you shouldn't feel a burden to anyone individual as you will be spreading out your need for support.    But the trick is you have to reach out... don't wait for people to reach out to you.   Its great if they do, but you can ensure you get what you need by asking for it. If they are friends, they will give it.     Don't be vague in your request... tell them what you need. A visit, help make a soup, pick something up from pharmacy, etc, etc.   

So although my book was on separation, I think the same techniques could apply here.     I am very independent so don't like to burden people.   But the book did help me see that we all need support and so you have to reach out and ask for what you need. But you can do it in a way that doesn't burden others.

Good luck.  Hopefully it works out.

Thank you so much for your advice. I'm very impressed with you, proud of you. You are handling all the "new" in your life well.

ending a relationship is so hard. But I have faith in you and your outcome

I did it alone (Other than my cousin letting me stay at her place for 3 days) I didn't even have someone to check me out of the hospital. I had to ask a friend I knew online but had never met before! (that would be Bellafeega) She came and sprung me from the hospital then I got in a taxi. I flew to Toronto alone, took the TTC by myself back to Billy Bishop airport 3 days later to go home. I have an 18 yr old son at home, but he didnt help me, I did not need the help. I just napped