How did you break the news of having surgery? kind of long...sorry

Ok, so I am unfortunate enough to have an "Ex wife" in my life... who tends to be a ***** and lets just say we don't get along...

My fiance has two boys that we see every other weekend and holidays... and also any other time they have school or sport games.  We are active in their lives.. so she doesn't know i am having surgery, and i really don't want to tell her any details because i know she will just make her comments like she has many friggen times in the past about my fiance and i.  I am alot younger than he is and that didn't sit well with her in the beginning.. and then when i had my daughter, she made comments to my oldest stepson if i was at least 18...lol  she is such a *****! 

Anyway, so she is going away the weekend after my surgery and has asked my spouse if we can have the kids that weekend..and I am mad because he should have told her without hesitation No "Mel is having surgery." no instead he told her he would talk with me about it..that makes me feel he doesn't consider this a big deal, but he then told me he didn't know what to say because he didn't think i wanted her to know about the surgery... which i really dint want her to know.. and now he hasn't said anything that we can't... ok, so to make a long story short, I want him to tell her no because i need to recover, its going to be hard enough to care for the baby...not that they are bad kids, they are really well behaved boys 10 and 17 (which mind you the 17 year old DOES not want to come to our house because it is prom weekend and she doesn't trust him home alone which IS the whole issue in itself...who plans a get away trip on their sons prom weekend??!!  Mind you, this is the second year in a row she did this to the poor kid..)   there is so much more involved like driving the 45 minutes back and forth to get them because she wont EVER do that..she expects us to all the time and my fiance doesn't drive well after his stroke back in September..

So ANYWAY,  What I am getting to is What did you tell people who you really didn't want to know?  I'm feeling embarrassed about it...I find myself fumbling to people on why my decision was to do this... I really dint want to tell the EX about this but looks like i am going to have to...i think if he just says I'm having surgery, it wont seem that big of a deal... what are your thoughts...

"Probable Hernia Repair"   'nough said!!

AMEN!!!!! That is what I am telling people.

I know what you mean! So many lives connected, and some you're happy to know your business and others you're not.

I agree with Peach. You can imply you're having surgery or a procedure, or something like that without giving details. Something really ho hum like hernia or gall bladder should shut them up.

I'm trying to think up what I'm going to say. At work, I'm thinking I'm going to say that I have to take care of a "medical thing." I don't think I'll get questions. More tricky are the nosy judgmental types in my personal life.

You can also say you have a nasty stomach ache and you don't want to get the kids sick. Of course you can't say that in advance.

Good luck!

I did it the easy way. I told one person - the person with the biggest mouth, and the news spread like a contagious disease. (i hadn't expected everyone would find out like that, but after the fact, it worked out perfectly)

I love you, abcbrown!!  That is too funny!  And, so true!!!!!!

All that needs to be said is that y'all aren't available to have the kids that weekend.  Prior plans.  Why even mention surgery?

When the time comes to break it to my "outer" circle, I am planning to say "a female surgery".  Most people don't pry into that too much.  That's all they need to know for now.  My thing is that I don't need the pressure of everyone "checking" me out for loss, the nay sayers, the superior additudes, etc.  I am sure most of the people in my life would be supportive but as I lose weight and gain confidence, I will spread the news.

Hope you work it out,

NGD

Just tell her you're having surgery ...period. It's not any of her business. Just make sure you tell her soon so your stepson's prom doesn't get hosed because of her selfishness..

Yeah, you are all right... I could say Hernia repair.. or she doesn't need to even know... Its not even our weekend to have them, its not like we are saying we cant take them on our own weekend...  its none of her business... but i am sure she will find out by the kids.. the oldest has heard about it but not what i am having..he just knows i am having surgery... but what bothers me the most is my spouse has this mind set that he rather not upset her because its easier that way..i'm the one dealing with all of "Their" previous marriage stress and kids...and he rather not upset her??!?!?!...GRRRRRRR  thats why he hasnt said No to her yet...