OT - Would you ever date some one who went to prison...

Sorry... way OT

One of my girlfriends is also newly dating... she met a great guy BUT...

At least he was up front about it...

He and his wife were separated for over a year... living separate and all, but still "hooking up."  One weekend after they were together he told her that he met someone else and that he wanted to officially end the marriage.

3 days later he was arrested for rape... and they had his DNA.  Because she didn't have any marks or injuries of any kind they allowed him to plea down to Sexual Abuse First Degree Adult Victim... he did 3 years... he was afraid to fight it and risk more time... now he is a registered sex offender.

He's a father of a little boy that he is very involved with... he's allowed to pick him up at daycare and no limitations on children or anything else because his crime had nothing to do with any of that... it happened over 10 years ago.

I've met him and he seems really nice... but... I know you never know.

She has 2 kids...

SO... RUN, or see what happens?  I would have said RUN like crazy... but after hearing the story and having met him I can understand why she hesitates.... Am I nuts right along with her?

I personally would never date someone that was a registered sex offender just because of the impact it would have on my own personal life/career.

I'm a criminal defense attorney so I understand **** like that happens EVERY DAY. I see a lot of wrongly and falsely accused people get convicted all the time because that's how the system works. The system makes it very difficult for innocent people to fight there cases.

 Personally, I'd have a background check done on him.

Thanks guys... I would feel so much hesitation as well... but the poor guy... he even offered to set up a meeting with the detective that is "in charge" of his registration... she has helped him with issues before and is willing to vouch for him and his story.  He's filed some kind of good behavior thing in the convicting state once it hit the 10 year mark... it can take 6-18 months before it is even considered... so he's still waiting on that... and he's respectful... he's promised never to call her if that's what she decides.

I guess I never really thought about the impact it has on someone to be on the list... just thought, "good."

Sigh.  I feel so bad for both of them :-(

Its hard to say. You don't know the full story from both sides, and women lie, just like men. He could have been young, she could have been dumb, or vice versa. Either way, I would say stay out of it if its your friend, she's making her decision. She's continuing with the relationship.
A lot of people are wrongfully accused, or things are misunderstood. I don't think there is anything wrong with someone who has done their time. People do change after 10 years. Just sayin', I'm definitely NOT the same person I was 10 years ago.

I have to chime in here because my son was arrested for rape many years ago.  Not only was he arrested for rape the charges included rape with a forign object and rape of a minor under 14.  Well all charges were dropped as it turns out that the woman was 37, a prostitute that he at 19 thought was an older woman who was interested in him but when he told her he had no money she called the police (after stealing his wallet) and charging rape.  She was an asian girl and looked much younger than she was, as well as a hooker.  She made the whole thing up and had made him wear a condom (thank God).  There was no evidence of forced object, rape or anything else other than what it was.  However he was arrested for it and it stays a part of his record for the rest of his life even tho he was not convicted of it or had any other issues.  The record will not show that the prostitute lied about her age or that she was even a protitute.  His criminal record will show that he was arrested for rape with no conviction, forcible rape with a forign object  with no conviction and rape of a minor under 14 with no conviction.  3 charges that he did not commit  will be a permanent part of his record. Try and get a decent job with something like that.  He couldn't even join the service.    Now 15 years later he is trying to bring his wife to the US and has this on his record and it may prevent him from bringing her here.  Sometimes women use sex as a weapon against men, sometimes they get away with it.  Personally if the guy has had no other crimes in the last 10 years I would tend to believe he is ok. 

 Just because she had no marks or inuries doesn't mean she wasn't raped. Someone can hold a gun to your head and not leave a mark or make an injury. Personally... if she's serious about this man. I'd have him take a lie detector if he claims to be innocent. 

I think what she was saying is that his wife claimed rape after he told her that he wanted to "finalize" the seperation.  Not that he went out and raped some stranger.

It looks like they hooked up, he told her that he didn't want to see her anymore, she flipped her **** and called the police and lied and got him convicted.

The only thing he seems to be guilty of is making a poor decision to keep screwing his ex during a seperation. 

Just my opinion.

That is where my head goes too... and I freaking work with the local sexual assault response services... I mean I know it happens, but I also know how many rapists never do a day in jail, and that women don't often claim rape, go through a rape kit and everything.  It never went to court because he got scared and took the plea... he says he wonders everyday if he should have fought it... I mean, it was his wife, so he knew a lot about her, like she was bipolar... he wonders if that would have proven anything... but he was told up to 25 years if he was convicted, or 3 for the plea...

 My bad, I still don't believe it. I can't imagine someone who didn't do the crime willing to spend 3 years in prison. My hubby works for the police department and he said that even getting chargest against someone in a rape case is terribly hard, they must have had great evidence to be able to get a conviction.