Not letting my poor choices define me

Sooooo... yesterday was kind of a disaster as far as staying on plan goes, but I'm not letting my bad decisions define me as a person. Today I am right back on track (the path is right where I left it yesterday afternoon, thanks to my new lifestyle!) and am motivated to try to learn from my experience and work towards not repeating it any time in the near future.

Here's what happened. I started the day with a huge cleaning/unpacking session to try to tackle some more of the packing boxes in the dining room and made a great dent in it. Then in the early afternoon I went to an appointment at a wedding venue with my mom to check out the place (it looked like a haunted mansion from the outside-- no thank you!). When I got home I was feeling kind of stressed because I still had to prepare stuff to bring to my friend's house at which my fiance and I would be celebrating new year's eve. So I had a quick lunch of tilapia and broccoli and started cooking (breakfast had been 3oz of smoked salmon). I made a really great looking layered taco dip and some crockpot spinach and artichoke dip (and I had bought a bag of tortilla chips at the store to bring as well). I planned on having a bite of each to taste them at the party, and planned a serving of wine into my calories/carbs for the day as well.

When it was dinner time, Matt and I had fried eggs with multi-grain whole wheat toast (I skipped the toast), we showered, got dressed and were on our way by 9:30pm or so.

On the drive over, I spilled the taco dip liquid (from the salsa part) on my dress and didn't realize it until I felt a wet trickle between my thighs (so much for trying to look sexy in my little black dress)... but the rest of the night went great.

Except for my poor choices.

After drinking my calorie-budgeted amount of wine, I had more, then two shots of Limoncello and an entire glass of prosecco. I ate WAY more than one bite of each of the two dips that I'd brought plus the tostitos (but man, they were good!), had a homemade cream-filled cupcake, a bite of cheesecake, a bite of regular cake, a little piece of Pannetone fruitcake/bread, and I think I also ate a piece of cheese. This was all over the course of about 4 hours, and was completely not what I had planned for.

I went TOTALLY overboard. I had gotten drunk and had lost control completely over what I was putting in my mouth. At one point I think my fiance had tried to give me a gentle reminder that I was going crazy and I gave him a dirty look and made a nasty comment to mind his own business. Sigh.

So, today I am moving on.

What I learned about last night was that drinking alcohol should not be a part of my routine (or really ever****il I am WELL settled into maintenance, and even then I'll have to really just limit it to special occasions and have less than one normal sized glass. I discovered that I have a low tolerance, get trashed easily, then make tons of awful food and beverage decisions. I also learned that I am able to pack it away more than I thought I could when carbs are involved... and that scares me. I don't want to stretch out my sleeve and eat over capacity. I don't want to eat junk food that won't do anything but bloat me and lead me to wanting more.

I won't let it happen again anytime in the near future. I can't. Not if I want to get healthier and continue on my path towards losing the weight that has held me back for so long. And I also won't let one bad night define me or hold me back emotionally. To really make this work for me, and to gain some kind of benefit from the situation I'm going to learn from it and make a plan to move on.

So, I've come up with this action plan for today:
-drink tons of water (I've already had 1.5 liters)
-get back to low-carbing it like before
-stick to what I've planned out and pre-logged for food for the day
-get active and exercise a little more today than I was planning to do
-share what I did and what I'd realized with people (you guys) to become accountable for my actions and discuss with my support group (my fiance) ways we can work together better to avoid slipups like this in the future

That's basically it. I just wanted to share with everyone out there on OH. I'd love to hear any comments or suggestions people might have.

I hope that everyone had a wonderful new year's celebration and continues to work hard towards their goals and for whatever it is in life they'd like to accomplish.

I think you have taken the first step- admitting what needs to change.
You can do this! Good luck for the New year!

I think I can do it, too. What was important to me was talking about it and realizing that I made a mistake, then moving on with a plan.

Good luck to you in the new year as well!

Disaster is a good way to describe my night too - except I didnt drink, so I cant blame it on that. Damn.

Back to the plan

Heh. We are human, and humans are not perfect.

What counts I think is not making a habit of having disastrous food/drink days, and moving on if you have to continue on towards our ultimate goal (whatever that may be).

You're doing great, Alison-- you can do it! :)

My only goal is to get through this day!!!  Nothing like a little freak out to start a whole new year :)

 wow.  you are awesome.  it makes me smile that you're willing to learn from what you didn't like & move on without a long stop in self-hatesville.  a little grace with ourselves goes a long way!  keep up the good work (& the accountability!)! 

Thanks, Duck. I have to though as part of my goal of self preservation. Taking a long stop in self-hatesville would put me right back to where I was 75 pounds ago and that's a bad place to be in my opinion. So, if all it takes is giving myself a little grace then I'm up for it.

And of course, with support like OH, it's a lot easier.

I ate crap food last night too. I had a little conversation with myself before bed because like I've said in a couple of other posts, this is the weight I've "failed" at a few times before. The mental block is mine alone and has nothing to do with food.

Thank you for sharing.

I'm journaling today (something I don't usually do) so that I can remember what this feels like for future "special occasions."

I'm glad I went through this now because I'm going on vacation in a couple of weeks and I think I'm going to need tweak my gameplan for the trip.

I totally hear ya on it. Good job planning ahead to do well on your trip-- anticipating areas where we might be tempted to go off plan is half of the battle.

Good luck!