Explaining your weightloss.. My thoughts....

Fo 95% of the people in my life, I just stick with the truth. I mean, it got too complicated to think about how to hide my lack of energy, liquid diet, etc for 6 weeks after surgery. I couldnt come up with enough reasons why i ate so little, or why I wasnt eating junk, etc. I couldnt even begin to handle the "who knows what and who are they going to tell" issues.

That being said - my clients, total or mostly strangers who ask get the "diet and exercise" mostly because I dont have time/energy/desire to explain. For everyone else, Im happy to share where ive been, where im going, and what im doing.

 I tell the truth to everyone who asks b/c I never know who I am going to impact or help, like just tonight I went into a thrift store to pick up some pants and I got into a conversation with the woman who runs the place, she has been suffering with several serious health issues because of her weight and had been researching weight loss. I was able to share my personal story with her and guide her to sites and doctors etc. 

I didn't tell anyone but immediate family three years ago, I have an aversion to lying but no I do not think it is lying to not tell the world I had surgery.  Quite frankly it really offends me that people here are suggesting that you are lying by not telling all and sundry that you had surgery.  Its private.  No-ones business but your own if you want to tell or not and no-one - least of all other people here should try and make you feel guilty for your personal choices.

I havn't and won't loose weight because of this surgery.  I have and will loose weight because of diet and hard excercise.  And the fact that removing most of my stomach and NOT loosing the expected weight while only being able to eat more than 600 calories per day made my Doctors realise that my weight was not related to food after all.

At nearly three years out I havn't reached goal (I havn't re-gained either).  I'm journalling everything I eat and working out 2+hours per day - and now that my medical conditions are under better control I'm starting to loose weight.  No way I'm going to let my surgery take credit for the weightloss I am working so hard for, because at this point that would in fact be the lie.

I logged on just now to ask a question about this very topic.  I wish I had planned ahead of time although I don't know if that is realistic.  I always said that my surgery would not be a secret and I wouldn't lie about it, however, I just don't feel that is the business of some folks.  I have literally had people "mean mug" me as soon as my weight loss was noticeble and later they came to ask me how I was loosing weight.  Clearly that was just them being nosey.

Then there are others that I just don't feel like talking about it with because I know they are going to be negative.  Someone asked me yesterday what was I doing and my response was "not eating."  Is that dishonest?

But who cares if it's dishonest? You don't have to tell people anything. Maybe you could say dieting. You ARE dieting...

"You are dieting..."

Sometimes the truth is no ones business. To the people who are so set on telling the "truth", do you guys go to work and discuss your marital problems with your colleagues or if your spouse cheated on you or if your child attempted suicide or if you were sexually abused as a child? Do you discuss your sex life with everyone? What if someone happens to ask about these things? Do you discuss your other medical conditions with everyone? Don't think these things are comparable to surgery? I do. I'd sooner discuss some of those things with some people than this. My point is that I find this surgery to be a very personal thing at this point and I don't feel that I am lying by not telling people about it. I feel that I have the right to disclose my VERY personal, medical information and I choose not to, especially to people at my job.

I don't know what the heck I'm going to say to the people at work but I know that I'm definitely dieting and exercising, so that's not a lie and I know if they ask if I had "gastric bypass" and I say no, I won't be lying either but I also know that they need to stay out of my business.

I just went back to work and got the ooh you look great! I had already told most of my coworkers and figured the rest knew by word of mouth. But I was very open and they were great. Even the ones I didn't think would be. I even gained a walking buddy at lunch. She says I'm inspiring her but she's really motivating me to get my exercise in.

For me as of right now I'm not telling the majority of people. And if anyone were to ask me about my weight loss I will tell them I am seeing a dietitian and I am exercising. Maybe one day when I reach my goal weight and I am more confident I will be more open with others. Just for right now I don't want them all in my business. I am an incredibly private person, I always have been.

I even asked my Dr what he thought about telling vs not telling. He said you have to do what feels right to you. He said a lot of patients choose not to tell at first, then later on they end up telling everyone! 

Do what feels right to you and makes you happy! Good luck!