Oops, passed my century mark (and Ruggie's brief background story)

Edit:  updated title

Well I haven't been paying attention very well, and I went right past my century mark and didn't even really know it!  I've been so distracted with work and medical stuff recently that I haven't been as vigiliant as I usually am.  My partner gave me a really sweet greeting card congratulating me on my milestone, and I was all like "What milestone?" He said "You broke 100 pounds!"  I can be so dense sometimes.

I also don't think of it as my 'true' century mark, because I remember how big I was at my heaviest weight.  So, I'm under 180 now, and I met my bariatric surgeon when I was 280.  But a couple years ago, I was a blobby 310 pounds.... so I think in my head, I've lost 130 pounds, not just 100.  But the truth is on this current journey, it is 100 pounds. 

I always get torn on my ticker whether to put my 280 weight when I started my WLS journey or 310 at my highest weight.  What do you all do?

I've seen a lot of people hit their century mark recently, and want to congratulate all of your on your amazing success!

Congrats!

I chose to go with my highest weight - where I started when I first started looking into WLS. I guess I'm more proud of the 85 lbs I lost on my own so Im definitely including that lol. I keep track of both though in my sig line - just because they are kindof two distinct journeys.

CONGRATS!!  My ticker has my weight before surgery on it.  If it makes you feel better I say do the 310, you deserve to remember the extra 30 lbs you lost.  You lost them; celebrate that too. Here is where we can let it all out. We understand what you feel.  Its funny for me when people ask how long did it take me lose my weight, I tell them 20 years. That's how long I've been trying but I didn't have surgery until July 2011.  Enjoy your day and your WLS journey.

Well, I'll be honest and share a bit of my past with you.

Four years ago, I was in a poor state of life.  I was mentally unfulfilled and had a big hole in my mentality - that I filled with food and beer.  Oh, I ate and drank so much it was disgusting.  (I really hate to think of the shear volume of food in beer I crammed in my body at that time).  And the quality of the food was utterly poor - I started each workday off by driving through Burger King and getting TWO breakfasts.  Ugh.

I had an event and kinda hit rock bottom - I was "pre"-diabetic, on blood pressure medication, and had sleep apena.  My health got to the point where it started to interfere with my ability to work and perform research (really the drinking), so I decided to "man up" and stop pitying myself and .... start loving myself.  It took me a while to figure out how to do that.

I started eating less.  I started eating healthy.  I started eating vegetables.  I already knew how to bake and cook, but now I was learning to cook healthy!  I became a bit of a hermit - I went to work, then to gym, then to home, and invested all my energy into me.

In 13 months with diet and exercise, I went from 310 pounds to 210 pounds.  I felt like I could accomplish anything!

Then... my old job started getting really toxic (I mean really, really toxic - I'm not even supposed to disclose what was going on).  And I met my loving partner, so I wasn't a hermit anymore, and we started going out to eat, which I hadn't done for the past year.  And I worked more and went to the gym less.  And work got utterly horrible.... and I slipped.

I moved here to California into a new, healthy, supportive job, but after being in a toxic environment for years, I suddently felt "free".  I felt like it was time to party!..... and so I ate.  

I still don't know why or how I lost control, especially after I had done so well, I can only say that after years of a toxic work environment, I just felt so liberated that I was in permanent party mode for half a year.

And at the end of that half year, I was back up to 280 pounds.  Motherf-----

I felt like such a loser, I KNEW BETTER than to allow that to happen, and I was embarrassed to have packed those pounds on after getting my new, terrific job.  I felt like I could lead my team, my laboratory, as well, because I considered that a personal failure on my part.

I moped around for a couple months.  I mentioned how poorly I thought about myself to a dear friend of mine, and he recommended WLS.  I said something like "No, I don't want the easy way out" (I know, I know).  He said, "Well how long have you been trying to control your weight?"  I said "About two decades".  He said, "That's a long time to keep failing at something".  

A switch was thrown in my brain when he said that, and suddenly I couldn't get WLS fast enough.  I'm really thankful for that friend.  Otherwise, I'd probably be back up to 310 pounds again (especially after a holiday season), crying that I had to go back to Casual Male XL in order to find clothes to fit my body.

thanks for sharing...we are all struggling with the past ..great job !!

Hey Congratulations dude....it is so liberating isn't  it?  You will be at goal in no time!  And Ruggie.......quite frankly.....F**k!!   Casual Male XL  I hate those over priced ********!   You should come out to one of Dr.C's meetings in SJ  someday...frisco...Elina...macmadame... and I are usually there  be nice to meet ya IRL!

Hey thanks jimbo -

It sure is liberating... that's really the right word too... I feel free of things that used to burden me down.

Not only is Casual Male overpriced, I think I'm twenty years younger than the people they gear their fashion for.  Never found much I liked there.  I am so so so sooooooooooo happy to never step foot in one of those places again.

Actually, Elina's been urging me to come out to an SJ meeting so I can meet her, you, Frisco and the others - sounds like a really terrific idea.  I'll eventually break down and drive out.  I'm also going to be in SJ around March 5th or 6th - I have to give a talk there - might be possible to meet up for dinner too if schedules allow, but  I'll still aim for the Dr. C support group.

Well you've probably gained and lost weight all over the years he was doing it as a gesture from this journey and how nice of him to show how proud of you he is and encourage you (ahem). My highest and wls is the same to answer your question

Indeed, when I tallied up my gains and losses over two decades (which I had to do on surgical forms), I realized that if I never gained back a pound I lost, I'd be a 5'10" male weighing only 40 pounds!  That's how much weight I lost with yo-yo dieting before surgery.

Well that's gotta be the most thoughtful thing! Your partner remembered and KNEW you had hit a milestone (all dates and numbers aside)!

That's sweet!

I use my highest weight because I started the pre-op and then lost 21 lbs then surgery, I consider all of it "the journey". I wouldn't have lost the pre-op amount if I hadn't committed to the surgery, ya know?

Congratulations,
Donna