Meltdown
Ok, so I'm having a little meltdown.
Tomorrow I go for my little endoscope thingie, which is the last step in the things I need to do fo rmy surgeon to submit to my insurance...so yay. Not nervous about that, just frustrated that it seems to be taking forever (it's really not, my logical mind knows it's only been a month, but my female self feels like it's been years)
My husband and I completely changed out dietary habits, figuring that approval or not, it was something that needed to happen for both of our health (he's a firefighter, so he's already in good shape, just had to lose some love handles, which took him all of about 2 weeks)
We also started going to the gym 5-6 times a week together, and I started working with a trainer. I lost 15 pounds in the first few weeks (yay) and then my trainer announced that he's moving out of state. Suck!
On top of that, I quit smoking a month and a half ago....2 weeks using the patch, then threw those out the window, too.
When we started the exercise and diet, I felt good...better than I have in a long time. And now....I feel like crap. Everything hurts. I'm tired all the time again. It's like all this work for nothing.....and I'm having a bit of a meltdown.
My husband thinks it's because I really like my trainer and he's kept me motivated and this week is when he is leaving (oh yeah, and the new trainer...not sure I like her, and none of the others at our gym are really impressive, either).
We went to the gym tonight, and I just wanted to sit in the middle of the floor, light up a cigarette, eat a twinkie, and flip off all the pretty people....then cry for a while.
Ugh....thank you for reading my little pity party.....I guess it's time for me to put on my big girl panties and deal with it, huh?
Tomorrow I go for my little endoscope thingie, which is the last step in the things I need to do fo rmy surgeon to submit to my insurance...so yay. Not nervous about that, just frustrated that it seems to be taking forever (it's really not, my logical mind knows it's only been a month, but my female self feels like it's been years)
My husband and I completely changed out dietary habits, figuring that approval or not, it was something that needed to happen for both of our health (he's a firefighter, so he's already in good shape, just had to lose some love handles, which took him all of about 2 weeks)
We also started going to the gym 5-6 times a week together, and I started working with a trainer. I lost 15 pounds in the first few weeks (yay) and then my trainer announced that he's moving out of state. Suck!
On top of that, I quit smoking a month and a half ago....2 weeks using the patch, then threw those out the window, too.
When we started the exercise and diet, I felt good...better than I have in a long time. And now....I feel like crap. Everything hurts. I'm tired all the time again. It's like all this work for nothing.....and I'm having a bit of a meltdown.
My husband thinks it's because I really like my trainer and he's kept me motivated and this week is when he is leaving (oh yeah, and the new trainer...not sure I like her, and none of the others at our gym are really impressive, either).
We went to the gym tonight, and I just wanted to sit in the middle of the floor, light up a cigarette, eat a twinkie, and flip off all the pretty people....then cry for a while.
Ugh....thank you for reading my little pity party.....I guess it's time for me to put on my big girl panties and deal with it, huh?
I think you should stop for a minute and take some time to celebrate!! Screw the pity party!! I love your attitude!! You should be really proud of your self right now - changing your habits and QUIT smoking??? WOW. I bow down to you!!
One thing you should know though - the journey to healthier and happier life is not always filled with peaks - there will be many lows along the way because this is a mentally exhausting journey - there are lots of moments of just pure hormonal imbalances, as well as other emotions to sort through - anxiety, disappointment, fear, etc. I found that if you learn to embrace it, and just know that is an absolute part of the process - it makes it easier to just hang in there until it passes.
One thing you should know though - the journey to healthier and happier life is not always filled with peaks - there will be many lows along the way because this is a mentally exhausting journey - there are lots of moments of just pure hormonal imbalances, as well as other emotions to sort through - anxiety, disappointment, fear, etc. I found that if you learn to embrace it, and just know that is an absolute part of the process - it makes it easier to just hang in there until it passes.
www.sexyskinnybitch.wordpress.com - my journey to sexy skinny bitch status
11/16/12 - Got my Body by Sauceda - arms, Bl/BA, LBL, thigh lift.
HW 420/ SW 335 /CW 200 
85 lbs lost pre-op / 135 post op
~~~~Alison~~~~~
Hey, going through all those darn hoops can be stressful! I remember when my husband was doing his... geez it was a pain!
For me, the time before surgery was the most stressful part of the whole process. I was preparing for some major changes that I knew needed to happen, and I knew I needed to make them NOW, but I was still scared. That's a lot of adjusting to do! And I had all that time to play "what-if" games with my mind, which only made things worse.
You're doing a great job, and anything you can do to be healthier the day you go for surgery is a great idea. It helps to make the whole thing go more smoothly.
Take a deep breath, and keep going. The good news is you had some experience with that trainer, so maybe you've picked up a few techniques you can implement on your own.
Give yourself a huge pat on the back. You've made a lot of great choices lately, and made some huge changes. And that takes guts!
For me, the time before surgery was the most stressful part of the whole process. I was preparing for some major changes that I knew needed to happen, and I knew I needed to make them NOW, but I was still scared. That's a lot of adjusting to do! And I had all that time to play "what-if" games with my mind, which only made things worse.
You're doing a great job, and anything you can do to be healthier the day you go for surgery is a great idea. It helps to make the whole thing go more smoothly.
Take a deep breath, and keep going. The good news is you had some experience with that trainer, so maybe you've picked up a few techniques you can implement on your own.
Give yourself a huge pat on the back. You've made a lot of great choices lately, and made some huge changes. And that takes guts!
Highest weight: 277 Starting Weight: 250 Surgery Weight: 241 Current Weight: 130
Goal Reached in 10.5 months :)
It really will get better. There are several things going on here that are causing you to feel weepy. For one thing, like I said earlier, you're going through a lot right now:
1) The preop stuff can be a pain!
2) You also just quit smoking, which was no doubt a big relaxer for you.
3) You also have been going to the gym and eating better, so I bet you've lost a few pounds already. When us ladies lose fat, the hormones that we were storing in that fat have to go somewhere, and many of us find ourselves feeling a bit off when that happens, because hormones make us emotional.
4) Add to all of that the fact that you're about to make a major change that will affect your anatomy permanently, and it's no wonder that you're feeling a bit weepy right now.
Be patient with yourself, take a step back, and try to remember that all of this is normal. All of it. And it will pass.
Now go take a bubble bath and relax for a few minutes... you deserve it :)
1) The preop stuff can be a pain!
2) You also just quit smoking, which was no doubt a big relaxer for you.
3) You also have been going to the gym and eating better, so I bet you've lost a few pounds already. When us ladies lose fat, the hormones that we were storing in that fat have to go somewhere, and many of us find ourselves feeling a bit off when that happens, because hormones make us emotional.
4) Add to all of that the fact that you're about to make a major change that will affect your anatomy permanently, and it's no wonder that you're feeling a bit weepy right now.
Be patient with yourself, take a step back, and try to remember that all of this is normal. All of it. And it will pass.
Now go take a bubble bath and relax for a few minutes... you deserve it :)
Highest weight: 277 Starting Weight: 250 Surgery Weight: 241 Current Weight: 130
Goal Reached in 10.5 months :)
I know exactly how you feel! I quit smoking in January. It was hard, but I knew it had to be done. My surgery process is very different than others, I got approved for surgery thru a research company. In order to qualify for the program, I couldnt be a smoker. That was my strongest motivation!!! I knew the rest of my life was going to change forever, and there was no way I was going to let cigarettes stop me!!!!
Also thru the process of this program, I discovered I had diabetes. I felt like the biggest failure at that point. I was trying so hard to comply with the qualifications of the research company, thinking sure, I'm super obese, but I'm healthy, right? Nope.
Sorry, didnt mean to turn your pity party into what seems as one of my own. My point of saying all that is I am 8 days out of surgery, and I couldn't be more happier at this point in my life! Meltdowns are perfectly normal, and heck, even healthy sometimes (as long as it doesnt last forever! Lol) I know I had a few of them during this process! Just remember, possibly very soon, your life is going to make an extreme turn for the better. Remembering that got me thru the worst of times. :-) Good Luck!
Tonight is my last night working out with the trainer I just adore. He's been such a motivator and supporter. And I've decided my husband is right.....losing my trainer is the reason for my meltdown.
Had my EGD today, and they had to remove a little polyp and there's this big area of irritation/gastritis, but the doc said it's nothing that would prevent me from having the sleeve...so yay.
Now, if I could just get rid of the weepies, and stop being all cry-baby, life would be good.
Had my EGD today, and they had to remove a little polyp and there's this big area of irritation/gastritis, but the doc said it's nothing that would prevent me from having the sleeve...so yay.
Now, if I could just get rid of the weepies, and stop being all cry-baby, life would be good.
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