Having my weight loss noticed or not...

I am down 95 pounds from when I started the VSG journey last year, and at least 110 pounds smaller than my all-time high in 2004.  Still, I am constantly amazed at people who notice and people who don't (and people who notice but don't say anything). 

I always clutch up a little if I'm going to see someone who hasn't seen me since surgery.  Because there'll be questions, compliments, etc.  How agressively interested are they going to be ("no, really, tell me everything").  Mostly, these are clients and work colleagues - I've seen most of my friends! 

So I have had a recent round of this at work.  I had lunch with a fellow who I've worked with over the past 20 years, but hadn't seen since surgery.  I was with another coworker.  We sat down, he greeted me warmly, and went on to never say a word about how I looked.  I had a similar experience with my gf's brother, who came to stay with us for a few days recently.  I video-chatted with another coworker in Texas who never said boo. 

Today, I just finished a meeting with a colleague I see every few months who comments every time he sees me that I'm continuing to lose weight, how good I look, etc.

You know what?  I think I like it better when people don't say anything.  I don't think I *like* people paying attention to what I look like.  What I like next best is when people say, "you're looking great" and leave it at that.  What about you guys??
 

I do not like the attention and would rather people do not say anything

I think a lot of times people do notice but aren't sure it's ok to say anything. I am happy when people notice, but at the same time it's embarrassing to me. I really get embarrassed to say how much I've lost, 118 pounds, it's like saying how far out of control I had been or something. If you say a big number like that it's so shocking. Honestly I can't wrap my head around that number myself. I actually prefer people that I don't know well not to mention it. Congrats on your weight loss, you look fabulous by the way!

I so agree with this.  Most people really don't have any idea how much weight we've lost and I am also kind of embarrassed to say... admitting where I was at I think.  Especially at work I would say something like "over 50 pounds now" or "a LOT" with a smile and try to leave it at that.  I think generally the comments on weight and looks between men and women are the most awkward and I'm not surprised that it's usually men who make no comment at all, and for that I'm thankful as it's most awkward for me!

I'm still pre-op, so I haven't had quite the same experience yet. In previous weight loss attempts, I really appreciated the simple comment. Something like "Wow- Look at you! You look great!", and then getting to the subject mater at hand. I know that people notice- how could you not? Plus I like some acknowledgement for my hard work. But I agree with you- people going on and on about it just make me uncomfortable.

 I have had a few people tell me later when they didn't say anything that later when they heard someone else say something then they thought it was safe to comment some say they are not sure what to say did I lose it due to illness am I still sick is it sensitive and then how might I take it if they say something it is like you say they notice but they are trying to say you are still the same person so who cares what you weigh why comment . 

 I tend to be shy and reserved.  Those people that I am not close to, I prefer to keep it high-level or professional and not in my personal business. I like to "fly under the radar" and live my life.

 I am a bit of an attention ***** (yeah, I said it, so what? LOL) so I LOVE when people fall all over me (I can't even tell you what kind of ruckus I caused at DH's yearly BBQ/high school reunion this weekend, had several of the boys ask me to run away with them, it's a good thing I really love my husband b/c I had plenty of options that night LOL). 

I enjoy turning heads, of both people who know I used to  be fat and those who don't. 

I enjoy the positive attention and revel in compliments!  My favorite compliment is when people say, "You look so happy!"  My second favorite is anything to do with my muscles, because I work hard for them at the gym.  LOL

I have realized that I don't need to be invisible -- I am a beautiful, healthy, kind, smart, compassionate person who doesn't deserve to be ignored.  I am much more comfortable being in the spotlight now, more than ever before in my life.  I can thank my counselor for helping me to overcome the need for invisibility. 

I am totally open about my surgery and love sharing information about it, especially if it will help someone who has ruled out bypass and lapband and doesn't know anything about the sleeve.  So far, 3 people have had sleeve surgery, or have a date set, because of me.  I work at a hospital, so I also like to educate other health care professionals about the sleeve, so compliments and questions provide an opening to do so.

That being said, I really don't care if people don't say anything.  I certainly don't need to be the center of attention and don't feel slighted if someone doesn't compliment me or ask me about my weight loss.  People don't need to compliment me, and some people may not be comfortable discussing another person's weight.  Once in a while, if I'm having an off day, I may not feel like mustering the energy it takes to respond to all the questions and compliments, but that's pretty rare anymore, because I'm usually happy and energetic as a rule, now.

 It used to make me super uncomfortable, but considering at this point that ive lost the equivalent of an obese person - I can't hide from the fact anymore. Ive had people who saw me at 420 and not again until recently who have said they dont recognize me. So, it's actually a little awkward when ive encountered 2-3 people who have not said anything because its like...really?  But I have a few co-workers who took the sexual harrassment training a little too seriously and refuse to make comments about anyone lol. 

I do hate the co-workers though who make commetns every single day and mention every single day "oh youve lost more weight" blah blah when i'm like...no really I havent. We had this conversation yesterday. It goes from being nice/friendly to almost condscending to me when they need to exaggerate and go to the extreme. I'm sure they do it out of some pre-conceived notion that people want to hear compliments all the time, but i have my limits.