Not everyone will be happy for you!

Something to think about for pre-ops...make sure that you are doing this surgery for yourself and your health!!  I have learned the hard way that not everyone in your life will be happy for you when you lose weight.  I'm so glad that I did this for myself; it's the best thing I have ever done.  I wish I had thought about this beforehand, though, so I wouldn't have been so hurt by it.  110 pounds later, I can tell you that your relationships with people will change.  You will find out that not everyone you thought were your friends truly are.  I am so grateful to my friends from this site and my support system on MFP.  So...do it, do it, do it, but do it for yourself!!!

I have worried about this myself.  I'm not sure that it's always that people weren't your friends before, but that the changes in us have changed the basis of our relationships.  It's true that some people will simply be bitter and jealous and as painful as it is, losing those kinds of haters is like losing pounds--good riddance.

But sometimes people are less comfortable with us, and it's their issue, not ours.  I remember many years ago going to eat burgers with a friend and having her say to me, I love eating lunch with you because you're the only woman I know who won't look at me funny for eating two 99-cent burgers instead of just one! (I wasn't eating two myself, mind you--she just knew I wouldn't think less of her, and I certainly was eating my own share of bad choices.)  Would she find it uncomfortable to eat lunch with me now that I am making healthy choices?  If we were still regularly eating lunch together, would that change, because she felt so uncomfortable and vulnerable in her own choices that seeing me eat well would bother her?  Maybe.  Would it hurt me?  Yes. 

But it's not an issue because I seem to have lost her friendship over politics, instead!

LOL!

Anyway, you make excellent points, gamom.  We have to do this for ourselves.  Not our marriages, our spouses, or any other person.  We are the ones living with these changes for the rest of our lives!

I totally get what you are saying.  I truly understand that some don't mean to be jealous, but they are anyway.  One of my best "friends" is still heavy and she is really struggling to be around me.  It makes her depressed about her own situation.  We are still a work in progress! :)  Some people, however, can be just mean about it.  I actually had someone ask me if I had to work at losing all this weight or if I just had "that surgery".  I laughed out loud!  Thanks for your response, have a good one!

It certainly does change relationships and friendships for sure. Luckily, I was able to salvage my friendship with my BFF at work but it's still not the same as before.
It is nice to have friends here and on MFP, you being one of them! You look amazing gurl & I have always thought you were very pretty. Keep rockin' that sleeve gurl!!!

Thank you, sweet lady.  You are one hot mama yourself!!

People will often change as you lose weight. One good friend supported me and was my biggest cheerleader throughout the consultation and early days of surgery. But shortly there after, she started spreading lies and posted something on FB about how wls is the new emotional Viagra for women. SMH. This is from someone who has had a life long struggle with work. It's been almost 2.5 years and I am just now comfortable even speaking to her. Our relationship has been irreparably damaged

Emotional viagra?  I'm trying to figure that out.  It makes us want sex?  Or able to have sex?  Or...?

Gurl, I am trying to figure out what he meant about "emotional viagra" too... (giggle)

It sounds like a benefit, not an insult!

Woohoo! 

You know, this is why I hate FB.  I mean, it's not FB's fault, but people that don't get that putting something out there in writing is way more serious that saying it to someone in passing.  I say a lot of things as part of processing an issue (I'm very verbal!) but I use some discretion and NEVER write it down.  I may think you're an idiot today, but tomorrow realize I was being a jerk.  I don't want that posted on FB!!

My mother told me to never write down anything I didn't want seen printed on the cover of the New York Times.  This is even more important in our internet age.  What are people thinking!!