Is Beauty Truly in the Eye of the Beholder? Perception or Reality? You Decide * Befor and Afer...

A couple days ago I posted my 7 months surgiversary facial close- up.  I was shocked and overwhelmed by the number of private messages I received.  The messages basically consisited of people telling me "I'm beautiful and goregeous.  One message even told me I was "drop dead gorgeous" ( I've never been called that my entire life btw)".  All incredibly flattering, please dont get me wrong.  However, I couldnt stop thinking that I'm still the same me that I have always been.  I truly thought I was all those physical attributes before, but rarely heard them.  I always saw the beauty and continue to see beauty in all life forms.  When I went out last weekend I was appoahed by people (men) who I know would have NEVER approached me before or even give me a second look, so why now? I guess Im cncerned that society really is that shallow and begs the question is beauty truly in the eye of the beholder? Or is thin always where *its* at wherever *that* may be.....Perception or reality?

I think you were pretty before and now, you just seem to glow more now, be proud of the woman you are not just on the outside but internally, I still believe your beauty comes from within and yours is glowing girl...

 I totally agree with the previous person who posted. I believe that when you feel better about yourself, you glow and send off positive vibes. However, I want to be honest as well. Some people are very shallow however the truth is that before we ever meet someone and know them, we have to be attracted to them physically and everyone has their own "type" they like.  Now, you can think someone is beautiful, get to know them and realize that they are not a good person on the inside.  When I meet my husband, I was very attracted to him, and if I wasn't I'm not sure I would have got to know him. I am not shallow but we do have be attracted to someone, IMO

Just be proud of yourself and your progress and know that you are a beautiful women! 

Actually, beauty is in the eye of the beerholder!

beautiful before and after. people are really shallow and think looks are everything. i love a person for who they arenot what they look like.

I agree that people ARE shallow, but let's think about it for a minute.... I think we all agree that we did this for our health, right? So we must have felt that the life we had before was unhealthy.

Most people ARE attracted to youthful and healthy people.  And looking better is a very strong indicator of overall health (since we don't usually get to see each other's x-rays and blood tests on the first date :) ).  We go by appearance to judge overall health, therefore, and this gets translated into "beauty."  

All the makeup tricks (women), hair comb-overs (men) and other things we do are, in some ways, to make us look more healthy (and youthful, of course) and cover up defects from less-than-smooth skin to baldness.

Losing weight makes most of us look a lot younger and healthier.  I think that is what people are responding to... And my dear, you look both of those in bunches.

Tom

Thank you to all *****sponded.  You truly helped shed shme light on what I was confused about.  I appreciate all your thoughtful comments.  Good luck on your life changing journeys:)

Jubjub got it right.  I don't think I could have said it better myself.  Actually, I needed to read his post to believe it myself. 
Maybe we also have more self confidence within us?  I still feel insecure at times but I know deep down I look & feel better so maybe that shows to others?  I know confidence is an attractive quality that some people admire.
But you do look great gurl so I can see why you are getting attention!!!

Physically, you are beautiful, then and now, but perhaps your heart shines a bit more now.  Let me try and explain. 

A topic I have been pondering, the more I lose.

On one hand, I am not attracted to heavier men.  I do not seem to be aggressive enough to flirt with any man I just met, but if I was, it would probably be with a man that is on the thinner side.  Maybe because my dad was always very thin.  Maybe because I have always been heavier and struggled with weight and like the idea of being with someone who does not struggle with their weight.  So, I totally understand a man that may not be attracted to a larger woman.

In general, I would hope I do not judge others by their physical appearance.  However, there are times and situations, I know I do.  I hate to admit it, but there it is.  Sometimes for safety reasons, sometimes because the thought pops into my head before I can filter it.  Sometimes I am just being prideful and judging someone else out of my own ignorance.

It does depend on where you are meeting people and in what situations as well.  Unfortunately, if you are out at a bar or party, you will meet those type of people, more often than you would in a different atmosphere.

Regardless of what weight someone is, I am always attracted to the person that shines.  You know the type.  The glass is always half full, life is full of wonderful things, let me be the one to serve and to help.  That is the person I want to be.

So with that said, no matter what weight I get down to or end up at.  I want to be the one that shines, the one that is the first one to offer help, the one that is willing to give up my own wants to meet the needs of others.  That is my goal.  To me, that is true beauty.  

When I was heavier, I constantly thought about me.  What were people thinking about my weight, was I the biggest in the room, will I get too out of breath on a walk, will I fit in the chair at the auditorium, so many selfish thoughts.  The more I lose, the less self focused I become.  I actually think I listen to others more and am more willing to help others as well.  It is just easier at a lighter weight.  I have tons more energy and abilities.

The people that only notice you now at a smaller size, were always there, they will always be there, but do not be too hard on them, perhaps you are just shining more?  Or perhaps they are just shallow and you will have to walk away from them or not be friends with them.  Some, well, are just jerks and unable to see below the surface.  They will get what they are looking for, but unfortunately, miss out on a much greater beauty, the one within.