Damn, damn and double damn....I am not ok and I need to face it....*long*
I have not been through most of the horrors you have, so I really have no idea what you are dealing with. I am so sad to hear about your struggles. No advice. Just a big hug and prayers for you.
The one thing that has always stayed in my head was the following words my pastor's wife gave me when I was 18 and struggling with not wanting to become like my mother (alcoholic, left when I was 14 and other issues). She told me to focus on the woman God created me to be, the one I want to be, the woman of purpose and inner beauty. To focus on what I do not want to be will push me to become that, because my whole focus will be on studying what I do not want to be. All my energy would be focused on the negative. But if I study what I want to be, I can become that, by learning what that looks like. Not sure if that strikes a cord with you or not. But thought I would share.
“Not many of us are living at our best. We linger in the lowlands because we are afraid to climb the mountains. The steepness and ruggedness dismay us, and so we stay in the misty valleys and do not learn the mystery of the hills. We do not know what we lose in our self indulgence. What glory awaits us if only we had the courage for the mountain climb. What blessing we should find if only we would move to the uplands of God.? JRM
I like your signature quote too!
“Not many of us are living at our best. We linger in the lowlands because we are afraid to climb the mountains. The steepness and ruggedness dismay us, and so we stay in the misty valleys and do not learn the mystery of the hills. We do not know what we lose in our self indulgence. What glory awaits us if only we had the courage for the mountain climb. What blessing we should find if only we would move to the uplands of God.? JRM
Thank you so much for that, it does strike a chord, it really does. I have to constantly remind myself that the things that happened to me are not a reflection of ME, but of the people who DID them, that my worth is based on my talents and gifts and not on the story that they decided to tell me about myself.
Courtney - Lap band to VSG revision
