Is it normal to still see yourself as ...

I am 8 months post-op and have done pretty well.  I'm still losing even though it has considerably slowed down the last month or so.  I'm down nearly 80 lbs and have gone from a size 18/20 to a 12.

I know I have lost a lot of weight because every one tells me they see the dramatic difference. i see it in the size of my clothes and old pictures of myself.

However, I still look in the mirror and see all the imperfections, and still see myself as a very large person.  When I was 249 lbs, I would have thought a size 12 was a very average, normal-sized person.  Yet, now that I am here, I still want to continue losing weight and still see an overweight person who still has a lot to lose.  Is it normal to see myself that way?  Is it common after WLS to see yourself as a "fat" person even after having such very good weight loss?

I haven't really set any goals for myself because I haven't been under 200lbs in so long.  I've always said i don't want to be "skinny" or look like a toothpick.  I figured I would know when I got to a happy weight/size, and just keep striving for a healthier me until I am satisfied.  I'm starting to wonder if I will ever be satisfied or happy.  I seriously think my mind's eye might be warped or damaged.  I look in the mirror and literally tell myself to shut up and be grateful that I am not the 249lb woman I once was.  Even if I still do see myself as "fat" I'm no where near as "fat" as I used to be so suck it up and get over it.  LOL

Anyone else experience this?

 

It's all mental. Ive lost 230 lbs, had plastic surgery, and can still wake up and thnk Im a fat blob...the problem isnt my body, it's my head. So yes, very normal. 

I think what you are experiencing is perfectly normal. People who are pretty and think they are ugly experience something called body dysmorphic disorder. No matter how much plastic surgery they get they are not satisfied. We experience the same thing. In our minds eye we see ourselves at our worst not matter what is said by someone or not matter what the scale says. It takes time for our minds eye to catch up with what is in the mirror.

I look in the mirror and I see all the scars and the flab and the stretch marks. My wife just sees a guy who is 80 lbs lighter than I was 3 months ago. I see the wrinkles under my chin but everyone else sees a guy who's head is half the size it was 30 months ago.

Remember you are and will always be your own worst critic.

What you describe is all very normal. You said you haven't set any goals. Why not? Don't have to be number goals or scale goals, but maybe setting some would be helpful in your process of accepting yourself and not allowing your psyche to control your continued journey. You want to be pleased with yourself thus far and you should be pleased. Easy for me to say, but you need to get there too. I am sure I will probably be the same way. I can already see some of this in me. I had a day where I felt like a fat blob and I was actually losing weight. I cannot convince myself that I am the person I see in the mirror and in pictures. There is a disconnect. We have to get there. Set some goals for yourself. Don't be afraid to reach them successfully. You can do this.

Thanks for the encouragement to set a goal.  I think I will do that -- If I meet my goal and I think I should go further nothing says I can't change it.  :)

Now that I realize my perception is so horribly warped, I need to find ways to get my eyes and brain into seeing what's real.  I don't want to gaze at my ass in the mirror and say, "Wow that is one huge ass - we gotta work on that" when in actuality I am a size 4.  i guess i just want to train myself now, so that I can see myself for I AM and not for what I WAS.  :)

I love what you said "see myself for what I AM and not for what I WAS"

I'm 6 months out and wearing a size 8.  I still feel like a size 12.  12 was the smallest size I had ever been so this size is all new to me.  Doctor said it takes a while for your brain to catch up. I still have 10 more I want to lose.

Im 3 months out and down 98 pounds and I often have days where I have to open my photos and check my "before and current" side by side photo for a reality check as my mirror brain tells me I don't look much different.

It's weird how our heads work!