The Oprah Effect (not what you're thinking)

I was wrong. One of the toughest things for a person to do is to admit when they've made a mistake. In my case, I was too quick to judge Oprah's transfer addiction episode as being anti-wls and therefore bad. (Read that as "she hurt my feelings".) But as the hours passed, and I kept coming back to thoughts about the show and this board's discussion about it, something happened. I found myself becoming more and more upset, questioning every aspect of my efforts to get wls. I had a complete melt down. I wailed to my sister, who said maybe I was moving too fast, that I should deal with my newly-discovered kidney stones first, that maybe I needed more time to get over my husband's death, and that maybe I should give "the right way" one more try. She said that nobody could force me to go through with it just because I'd been approved. I felt better, and went to bed.  I woke up the next morning and immediately began to think about it:  Was I addicted to food? OBVIOUSLY. I don't know if that makes me an "addictive personality" or not, nor do I care, really, because what matters if what I DO about it. Can I lose "the right way"? After thirty years of trying, I know the answer to that question - yes and then NO. WIll there be post-op complications and side-effects? SURE, but compared to the complications and side-effects of diabetes, heart disease, arthritis, they really aren't all that scary, are they? How do I see myself a year from now if I have the wls? If I don't have the WLS? I see myself walking, doing things versus sitting in front of the TV because my legs hurt too much to do anything. No brainer here. Despite my best efforts to reject Oprah and her show, it did force me to take a long, hard look at ALL of my demons. They will be going into surgery with me and will still be there when I wake up in recovery. If I don't recognize and REMEMERB that they are there, just waiting for me to screw up, I am doomed to fail again. I'm approved for NOV 9th. Unless these kidney stones call for a short delay, I am going to be there. The irony is that Oprah is theone who helped me make that final decision. Heh.  

There is a reason I don't have a tv, I can't deal with listening to other peoples opinions, advice or whatever about anything.  Its your life, there is no right way or wrong way to live it, to lose weight to be healthy, its truly up to you.  You have to do what is RIGHT for you, what makes you happy, what you think is in your own best interests.  I didn't let anything I heard or read sway me from having surgery.  I am nearly 19 months out with no complications whatsoever, nope I am not thin but I am 153lbs vs 283.5, so I think thats pretty successful.  I guess it just irks me that something that you heard on tv could make you think you might not want life saving surgery.  I don't believe anything I hear on tv and not much of what I read, I need to see the facts and figures for myself to make up my own mind what is right or wrong.  Its amazing how people try to sway us everyday.  This surgery saves lives and sometimes takes lives, its a gamble we take, but for me it was worth the risk to get rid of the diabetes that killed my mother and give myself a shot of living without chronic arthritis pain. Good Luck!!! Hugs Heidi

Miss Heidi ** hugs** I'm with you, people have to make the choice for themselves, the outside forces (IE - Medical companies, insurance companies, the fast food industry) want us to be fat, its more profitable for them for us to be that way. I have a hard time listening to all the BS that is on TV if we believed and lived by everything that they had to say we'd all be sitting in a padding room with a hepa filter tapped to our mouths.

Glad to see you are back, I didn't know you were going a way for a while I was worried. :-p

Heidi, I agree with you completely, very well said, my friend. And BTY love you new pic, trust it was your Halloween costume at Lexi, too cute and you look beautiful. Bet you had a ball meeting so many new and old friends. Continued best of luck and health Bev of Ormond Beach

"Hijack" Heidi,  I've been following your story since I joined OH and just wanted to tell you how you look and how great you have done.  Congrats!!! Susan B.

I don't know the whole story behind what was happening but I had Gastric Bypass 20 months ago.  Yes addictions transfer around and if we don't find a way to deal with one if we cannot have that addiction anymore we'll transfer to another one. Most people do.  I found myself in a good chunk of debt because shopping became my crutch. But I do have to admit even that is breakable with the right support. That is the key. Make sure that before the surgery you have a support system. At least two people that you can talk to about anything. From the feelings, to the wants, to the needs to the emotions. There will be things that you'll feel like.. wow I've got to be the only one.. and you aren't. Find someone else who understands.

WLS is a VERY VERY personal decission. It might not be the right thing for you to do right now. Then again I'm of the mind that struggling and failing is more harmful that surgery and succeeding.  Its good that you really did take a good look at the surgery. I think that everyone should before they have this surgery. And I don't think Oprah is anti-surgery. She is just of the mind that anyone can lose weight if they put their mind to it - she doesn't realize that there are a  million and one factors that might make it an impossible battle for some people.  I'm glad to hear that you are having the surgery. Put your faith into the task at hand and know that everything happens for a reason. it could just be that you needed to hear everything that your sister had to say and had to think about the goals you are trying to achive before you could be really successful with this venture.  Best Wishes.

I think taking a proactive approach, as you have, is incredible and certainly well worth it!  I also feel that having a team of friends and/or family in place that will really kick your azz if they see you start doing something inappropriate can be key. I just wanted to congratulate you on your decision and wish you the very best! Lori

I did not see the Oprah episode, but I sure heard all about it from my co-workers who wanted to know what my addiction had become.  I will admit that it has been shopping - for me - my kids - my husband, sisters, niece or nephews, parents - anyone just to shop.  I think I used it to keep busy so I would not think about food or eat the wrong stuff.  Now I am getting a part time job to solve the time problem while paying off my newly created credit card debt problem.  Hopefully that will keep me busy enough!  My biggest fear is to fail at WLS.  I am so strict about my vitamins and supplements as well as getting my bloodwork and follow up appointments. But I still have THE FEAR.  That in itself can become an obsession - and I think it is getting there for me too.  I have put the scale away as I was starting to weigh myself twice a day and was getting freaked out at 3 lb fluctuations.  And that was the most fluctuation I ever had!  I should be rejoicing at reaching goal and maintaining it for the last 13 months (+/- that 3 lbs.) but instead I obsess.......I will agree that no one is perfect, and if I recognize the obsession I can deal with it.  At least I am dealing with it while being healthy, able to play with my children, ride a bike and physically do things that I had been unable to do for 15 years of morbid obesity,  

Dear Wissixwe; I have to applaud you for your reconsideration and new resolve.  I went through the same thing with the death of my mother in 2004, thinking the same thoughts about my ultimate health, then deciding to go ahead with the surgery. You must do what is right for you.  Yes, look at the negatives as well as the positives, then make up your mind. Good luck!