Advice for overweight daughter

Hi Denise, I know it is so hard to see your child hurting...especially struggling with issues you have had in the past. Here are a couple of things I had been told when I was concerned about my daughter's weight and health. First, at age 11, we should not be discussing "diet" with them. I was told that could lead to increased risk for eating disorders. We should encourage healthy eating and choices. It sounds like you are trying to cook the healthy things. The good news is that you control her environment at home and that will help her in the long run. The second thing I was told, was to get my daughter involved in exercise and/or activities. Some ideas include school sponsored sports or clubs, church activities, Y clubs, and just getting out and moving more. I'm sorry I don't have any other suggestions...just keep doing what you are doing by giving emphasis to healthy eating choices and moving!  You are a wonderful Mom!  Good luck to both of you!  Take care, Jill G.

Hi Denise: you put your heart into your words very well. i don't have a daughter but i was an overweight daughter and it looks like you are on the right track. she wants to do something about it.  my mom took me to ww and i hated it, did not fit in. my problem was sweets, being shy and loving to read. i wish there had been more sports for girls back then. my hub comes from a family of big eaters and neither he or his sister gained weight till they were adults cause they were in so many sports. as adults they've had to learn to slow down and eat smaller portions (rny for him) so your approach for holding off of dessert sounds right. or maybe only having dessert on fridays? i think the more active you are with her she will see her body change and it will motivate her better than any "diet". it is so hard isn't it? i know you only want her to have a happy healthy easy life and she has a loving family so she is already on her way there.  best of luck, wouldn't that be something if she won??? take care, judi j

Hi Denise, I know where you are coming from. My daughter is 14 and until this year she was wearing a 14 1/2 . I think once they start puberty I think that may also change her appearance. She is now wearing a size 6 ! Maybe join her in walks. I do think that WW  has classes for kids you may want to check it out. I wouldn't push a "diet" on her. I have been heavy since I can remember, even put on diet pills when I was about 14. For me the last thing I want to do is to have to remind her that she is heavy. Growing up and going to the store to find "big girl clothes" for me has made a lasting impression on me and don't want to do that to my daughter. I guess go on line and see if you can find a web site for pre teens. She may also feel better talking to someone who has experience with pre teens.  Good Luck, Sandy

I just wanted to cry when I read your post, my children struggle with weight issues too and all we can do is be there to support them, feed them healthy meals and encourage them to be more active. Sounds like you have a great approach and are a very loving mom, those two things are so important to a childs self esteem and developement, Hugs and prays for you both

Denise, I SO feel your pain and hers.  I also was a very heavy child as it never really changed.  I now have a son that is 9 and 135lbs.  Since I had my surgery we have been really working more on maintaining his weight and not so much on loosing if he does loose some great but I had a Ped. tell me that at this point it is better to maintain that weight till he grows into it than to make him start the roller coaster of diets at this point in his life. I think you are on the right track and yes WW in some places do have stuff but not really "just for kids" they attend the adult meetings and such.   I know you work alot and I was also a single mom for 5 years but what about a couple nights a week even taking her with you and going to the gym make it a fun for you and her night.  Instead of going to fast food try going to a grocery store to grab dinner and do the salad bar that lots of stores now have and you can make your own.  That is something that my son loved when we live in a bigger town we no longer have that option so instead we go and buy the ing. and do it here at home.   Another GREAT exercise at that age is Roller Skating.  There again we do not have thta in our town but it is a great tool. Hope a little of this helps and PM me anytime to talk we are really in the same boat. God Bless our kids, Jenny

Weigh****chers will take her but I believe she needs a doctors note. I started weigh****chers when I was 9.  I hope everything works out, she sounds likeme at that age. I tried to convince my parents on letting me go to a camp, or i think it was a cruise I cant remember. I tried everything on my own. Jus****ch her, my parents never really took it serious until I developed health conditions and got surgery, but years before that I started getting eating disorders *not eating and when i did eat ONE meal after 2 days id throw it up* I just dont want your angel to go through that at such a young age like i did. My prayers are with u and her Love, Kylie

Hey Denise, Good for you for being concerned and wanting to help your daughter!  I am very impressed that you are so pro-active.  Coming from an over-weight daughter, make sure there are no underlying medical conditions that are making your daughter's weight struggle worse.  Personally, I had hypothyroidism and metaboic syndrome and that made losing weight a medical impossibility without medical intervention.  So if you have your daughter on a reasonable diet and she is still struggling, maybe see about getting her in to have her thyroid tested just to be sure.  There is nothing worse than doing your absolute best on a diet only to have it not work at all.  If they catch her problems early hopefully they can get her on medications so she doesn't ever have to worry about being 100's of pounds overweight later, and looking at surgery as her only option. I hope you can find something to help your little girl, just make sure to remind her the whole time that she is always your baby and always lovable no matter her size.   

You can take her to Weigh****chers or you can get a 1200-1500 calorie diet from her doctor. There's nothing worse than being an overweight child. We can deal with rude remarks better once we are older but I'm sure your daughter is having a hard time with her peers. Encourage her to try a diet and try and keep things like fruit and veggies already cut up so she can have something to snack on so she won't reach for junk food. I wish you and your daughter the best.

Since her heart is set on going to this camp.....is it feasible for you to be able to send her if she doesn't win......if it's a good program she'll learn about food choices and portion control from someone other than you (which might help) that will help her to adjust to the healthier choices you are offering her.    My own parents tried everything for me when I was a kid......but because my overeating was a response to a very ill sibling.....and the attention she got, nothing they tried worked until I was 19......I wish I was in the position to pay for her camp!    Any way you can find a way to help her attend would reward her for her wonderful motivation.     Keep us posted.  Susan

Denise, Instead of "dieting" I would suggest putting the focus on eating healthy food.  I started dieting when I was 9 years old and all it did was make me obsess about food and feel like there was something wrong with me.  Reassure your baby that she is beautiful and worthy of living a healthy and happy life.   You can help her by making her environment support her efforts to eat in a healthy way.  I would start by getting rid of all the junk food in your house so that it will not be tempting or accessible.  Have snacks there for her like sugar free yogurt, fruit, cheese sticks, sunflower seeds in the shell.  Bake, grill or broil the meats that you prepare for your meals.  Let her help choose and prepare the vegetables that you eat.  If you buy starches, make them 100% whole grain.  Encourage her to drink lots of water and stop buying soda.  I would also suggest having her pack her own lunch to take to school, so you can make sure she has healthy food to eat there.   Get her involved in some type of fun physical activity.  Bike riding, cheerleading, marching band, dance, swimming or even walking with you.  If you incorporate these changes into her lifestyle as a way of becoming healthy, she will enjoy the process more. You sound like a great mom and she is lucky to have someone who cares about her the way that you do.