My Husband is trippin!

I can see this from all sides.  My husband is having a huge problem dealing with the new me, but I am much more confident and outgoing then I ever was before.  I have definately changed and am very responsive to all the positive attention i get from other guys.  Just be careful...I personally refuse to go back in the box that the fat had trapped me in, but you need to weigh the pros and cons of everything...

This is really common after WLS.  Your new found confidence is bringing down his level of security.  Your weight loss surgery has not only changed 'you'... but it has changed him too!  It changes the dynamics of the relationship in ways that people never expect.  Sometimes the changes mesh... and sometimes they go in the opposite direction.  Some men are very comfortable with having a large woman that they think they don't have to worry about straying.  Its like an insurance policy.  Once that insurance policy is no longer in place... and other people start to notice you... compliment you... and be attracted to you, they get very insecure.  This is 'his' problem!!  He needs to learn how to deal with the changes in the way people see you and treat you.  It is nothing that you are doing!!!!  Unless you are blatantly shoving all the compliments that men give you in his face.... this is his problem.  As you said.. you have done nothing wrong!  Remember that!  If he is having trouble dealing with the changes in you then maybe some couseling will help to make him feel that you are serious about making the relationship work, and serious about never going back to the old ways!!!  Too often bad relationships make us fail.  We figure what did we do this for... I was better off being fat... at least he didn't accuse me of anything'.  That is totally wrong!!  You did this for you!  For your health, for the rest of your life... and if he's not willing to see you through this journey and support you without making you feel guilty about your newfound self confidence and body image.... then he is not loving 'you' enough!!  Be strong!!
Take Care,
Debbi

Thanks so much for that because partly I do blame myself and I know I've changed but I just thought he would be more happy with me changing.  I never imagined that I would be this happy with myself again.  I just would like it if my own husband was happy with me as well.

My husband told me he supported my decision for the WLS but was really against it right up until the day I had my surgery.  He just kept that to himself.

Now that I've lost 74 lbs he treats me completey different than before just like your's is doing.  I started going to a counselor to help me with some of the things he's been saying to me and the way he's been treating me.  Now my marriage of 13 years is over because he can't handle me being thinner than I was when we got married.  I was thin when we met 15 years ago and he told me recently he didn't really like me thinner because guys always noticed me...how is that my fault?

Anyway, my point is get someone to talk to before you go insane with all of the issues HE'S having with your weight loss.

Frankie