I didn't want this to happen

I had only told two neighborhood friends that I was having WLS surgery.  One because our families are close and they would notice the change in my eating, and the other because so too had the surgery 2-1/2 years ago. 

Today, another neighbor invites me to a party and when I asked what I should bring, she was acting weird and said she was not sure if we were having food just ****tails.  Further along in the conversation, it comes out that she knows about my surgery and doesn't know how to feed me, that is why she doens't know if snacks will be served.  I was dumbstruck.  I NEVER wanted to be treated different.  I didn't even know how to respond.  I told her not to worry that I can adapt (plus I would eat ahead of the party anyway).   I am really upset now.  I do not care that she knows too much, I am just upset because now I am being treated unlike others, which was what I feared all along. 

Anyone else have to deal with this?  I did later tell ask her to keep my surgery to herself because even most of my family members do not know about the surgery.

Chill out and take it in strides. At least they are not trying to be an ass about it and put a lot of stuff you shouldn't be eating on the menu. Maybe you should make a suggestion that they have something to eat and that way it won't seem like it's all on you. Then if you are close enough to that person or know someone that is and don't mind them telling, just tell them "I don't mean any harm but I was a little thrown back by the fact that ....... and then maybe you all can move on from there. Maybe even suggest a few items that you can eat and just nibble a bit.

In a good dozen people, six would be offended because someone didn't take their food issues into consideration and six would be offended because someone did.  If you want to have everyone believe you don't think it should be a big deal, then don't make it one.  Go to the party and enjoy yourself.

Linda

I haven't had to deal with this about WLS but this kind of thing has happened to me more than once in other situations where I told one or a few people something meant to stay between us and it got out (not wide-spread but they didn't keep their word).  So annoying!!  When I was considering WLS, I debated whether to tell anyone.  I finally decided not to tell anyone because I didn't want anyone to tell someone else or feel pressured to lie if someone asked about me.  I understand how you feel though.  It sounds like you dealt with the person who didn't originally know about your WLS.  I can't really say whether or not you should approach the blabber.  Do you know who said something?  Did you ask them to keep it private?  You wouldn't want to cause friction but maybe gently remind them not to share your information(without bringing up that you know they already told someone).  You can also say that if someone gets curious, tell your friend that person should talk to you.  That gives them an out. 

I second what Linds S. said.  Let it all slide.  Loris

I find it better that she was thinking of you rather than not, I have some friends who don't think at all... and it really irritates me, I think of their kids food allergies so why not think of my food issues? I don't find the two situations any different.. Be happy that she was being so nice about it and offer to bring a dish WLS friendly that all would enjoy.

Have a good time at the party!

Thanks everyone for the great advice.  I am a bit calmer now and will let it go.  I am still annoyed that someone did not honor my request to keep it private.  Lesson learned for the future.

I wouldn't get upset with someone who's trying to be helpful, even if it doesn't feel good. You can tell anyone who expresses concern about what you're consuming, "Oh, don't worry, I'll manage." Then move the conversation along to another topic. If anyone tries to coax you into a conversation about the surgery that you don't want to be involved with - "I'm not discussing that."  (Not "I really don't want to discuss that," which leaves the option open if they're persistent.) Then smile, discuss something else. This too shall pass - some brand-new neighborhood buzz will replace you as the topic of interest.

By people knowing now, they won't be making up their own reasons for your rapid weight loss later on.