Why Did You Bother?
Is this a recent photo Beth? She is adorable. I have 4 beautiful grandkids that were all in danger of being aborted. What would life be like without them? They each fill a need that no one else would fit into exactly like they do. 
I am only one, But still, I am one. I cannot do everything, but still I can do something. And because I cannot do everything, I will not refuse to do
the something that I can do.
Edward Everett Hale
Onederland 1/26/2010
What a beautiful child.
Notice I said "child". Not "option".
I fought too long and hard to have my two biological children to call a child an "option". My little girl lived two hours after my placenta abrupted. She weighed less than a pound. Six miscarriages later, I had my son. I had so many damned complications along the way that it's a miracle he's here - literally. My perinatologist gave me 50/50 odds that he would make it - when I was 28 weeks. He made it - thanks to an emergency c-section and a great NICU. And yes, he was fine - he's a wonderful, bright, loving child - he's an absolutely treasure.
I'm sure MM would tell you that her child - actually all her children are treasures.
Anyway I am afraid I am very pro-life. I'm not going to trash someone who feels differently but I will certainly support those who do their best to have their babies especially those who face overwhelming odds against success. I may not like it, but I haven't walked in their shoes so I have no right to judge.
With that said, yes, I find the suggestion that she should have had an abortion offensive.
And frankly, I don't think anyone should be the pregnancy police - if someone wants to have a baby, and they are willing to take care of that child, then no one has the right to tell them they can't or shouldn't.
Weight loss surgery is "elective" for some people - others face serious comorbidities and their quality of life is compromised. The WLS gives them a second chance. Some people are metabolically and physiologically impaired - and regain. Others don't deal with the issues that led them to be overweight, and they regain. Some people have unreated and undiagnosed illnesses - depression among them - that contribute to regain. Others simply get thrown curveballs by life.
I would think that anyone who struggled with morbid obesity would understand that. I also hope that those of us who have had the WLS of ANY type would offer support to others who are walking the same path. No one needs more "shoulda"s. Too many of those got most of us fat to start with. (Oops I said the F-word. OK I'm fat. I was a lot fatter. It is what it is. That word needs to be demilitarized - it needs to NOT be a value judgement about a person. But that's another post for another time.)
Look around you - at work, at the mall, at the grocery store, at your kids school. You'll see someone who is morbidly obese struggling. Maybe they have dropped something and can't bend over to pick it up. Maybe they are struggling to step down a curb, a little off balance. Maybe they are just there, going about their business.
Instead of getting judgemental here, walk up to that person. Help them pick up what they dropped. Offer an arm to help them step down. Smile at them and say start a conversation - say something nice. Find something to compliment them on. It may be the only time that day that person has been noticed, or had any positive human interaction.
I would hope by now all of us know this. We don't need to be the fat police. Part of the problem with society today is too many people spend too much time telling others what to do, and judging others - instead of regulating their own behavior.
Oops I did it again and got long-winded and hijacked a thread. I need to go back to the VSG board where I don't get pissed off and long winded LOL. But seriously - the sanctimonious judgement crap just doesn't go over well.
OK done with my rant.
MM, congratulations on your little one. She is beautiful. I know you wouldn't trade her for anything. And please accept my deepest sympathies on the little one who didn't make it.
Notice I said "child". Not "option".
I fought too long and hard to have my two biological children to call a child an "option". My little girl lived two hours after my placenta abrupted. She weighed less than a pound. Six miscarriages later, I had my son. I had so many damned complications along the way that it's a miracle he's here - literally. My perinatologist gave me 50/50 odds that he would make it - when I was 28 weeks. He made it - thanks to an emergency c-section and a great NICU. And yes, he was fine - he's a wonderful, bright, loving child - he's an absolutely treasure.
I'm sure MM would tell you that her child - actually all her children are treasures.
Anyway I am afraid I am very pro-life. I'm not going to trash someone who feels differently but I will certainly support those who do their best to have their babies especially those who face overwhelming odds against success. I may not like it, but I haven't walked in their shoes so I have no right to judge.
With that said, yes, I find the suggestion that she should have had an abortion offensive.
And frankly, I don't think anyone should be the pregnancy police - if someone wants to have a baby, and they are willing to take care of that child, then no one has the right to tell them they can't or shouldn't.
Weight loss surgery is "elective" for some people - others face serious comorbidities and their quality of life is compromised. The WLS gives them a second chance. Some people are metabolically and physiologically impaired - and regain. Others don't deal with the issues that led them to be overweight, and they regain. Some people have unreated and undiagnosed illnesses - depression among them - that contribute to regain. Others simply get thrown curveballs by life.
I would think that anyone who struggled with morbid obesity would understand that. I also hope that those of us who have had the WLS of ANY type would offer support to others who are walking the same path. No one needs more "shoulda"s. Too many of those got most of us fat to start with. (Oops I said the F-word. OK I'm fat. I was a lot fatter. It is what it is. That word needs to be demilitarized - it needs to NOT be a value judgement about a person. But that's another post for another time.)
Look around you - at work, at the mall, at the grocery store, at your kids school. You'll see someone who is morbidly obese struggling. Maybe they have dropped something and can't bend over to pick it up. Maybe they are struggling to step down a curb, a little off balance. Maybe they are just there, going about their business.
Instead of getting judgemental here, walk up to that person. Help them pick up what they dropped. Offer an arm to help them step down. Smile at them and say start a conversation - say something nice. Find something to compliment them on. It may be the only time that day that person has been noticed, or had any positive human interaction.
I would hope by now all of us know this. We don't need to be the fat police. Part of the problem with society today is too many people spend too much time telling others what to do, and judging others - instead of regulating their own behavior.
Oops I did it again and got long-winded and hijacked a thread. I need to go back to the VSG board where I don't get pissed off and long winded LOL. But seriously - the sanctimonious judgement crap just doesn't go over well.
OK done with my rant.
MM, congratulations on your little one. She is beautiful. I know you wouldn't trade her for anything. And please accept my deepest sympathies on the little one who didn't make it.
Like the butterfly, I have the strength and the hope to believe
In time I will emerge from my cocoon... Transformed. Kirsti A. Dyer, MD, MS
How wonderfully blessed you are. Such a beautiful angel!
Let Your Heart See What Your Eyes Cannot. * WWW.DSFACTS.COM
* Duodenal Switch Information Zone-> www.duodenalswitch.com/
* Dr. Hess' first DS patient 23 yrs ago->http://www.dshess.com/->Click link left column->First BSD/DS
* DS laparascopic animation->www.youtube.com/watch * DS animation->www.youtube.com/watch
* Vetted DS Surgeons-> http://www.dsfacts.com/North-American-Duodenal-Switch-Surgeo ns.html
* DS Forum->http://www.obesityhelp.com/forums/ds/a,messageboard/board_id,5357/
* Vitamins Source->www.vitalady.com
Be the kind of woman that,when your feet hit the floor in the morning,the devil says,"OH NO, She's Up!"
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