Why Did You Bother?
Heidi, this is probably one of the saddest, most judgmental post I've ever read on OH in the 6 years I've been here.
Seriously what the hell are you trying to accomplish? Just because you haven't regained (much) doesn't give you the authority to judge others that have regained. IT HAPPENS, addictions are tough no matter what addiction it is the person experiencing it has to FIGHT the addiction oftentimes for life.
Then the gall to make that comment about abortion to Beth along with diagnosing her health issues has left almost speechless.
YOU need to back off, look at and take care of yourself and stop judging others.
Seriously what the hell are you trying to accomplish? Just because you haven't regained (much) doesn't give you the authority to judge others that have regained. IT HAPPENS, addictions are tough no matter what addiction it is the person experiencing it has to FIGHT the addiction oftentimes for life.
Then the gall to make that comment about abortion to Beth along with diagnosing her health issues has left almost speechless.
YOU need to back off, look at and take care of yourself and stop judging others.
Proximal RNY Lap - 02/21/05
9 years committed ~ 100% EWL and Maintaining
www.dazzlinglashesandbeyond.com
ANDREA 
I came back to peek at the place i got so much positivity and encouragement from, and I see this.
Heidi, you are the one who got me to never come back to OH. Good for you. I hope you and your blindingly screaming red font and head-up-your-ass guilt-fest are happy.
God damn.
Heidi, you are the one who got me to never come back to OH. Good for you. I hope you and your blindingly screaming red font and head-up-your-ass guilt-fest are happy.
God damn.
Anne-Marie (Amry)
Tangental pixie of chiming in and support through the usage of cuteness overload.
S L E E V E D!
If someone annoys you, don't let them run you off. Just block them.
There is too much good support here to be run off by any one person.
Come back - you'll find much positivity and support on this forum. (And you can always hang out on the VSG forum - for the most part we're really nice over there - most of the time at least!)
There is too much good support here to be run off by any one person.
Come back - you'll find much positivity and support on this forum. (And you can always hang out on the VSG forum - for the most part we're really nice over there - most of the time at least!)
Like the butterfly, I have the strength and the hope to believe
In time I will emerge from my cocoon... Transformed. Kirsti A. Dyer, MD, MS
On April 7, 2011 at 1:59 PM Pacific Time, shiftling wrote:
I came back to peek at the place i got so much positivity and encouragement from, and I see this. Heidi, you are the one who got me to never come back to OH. Good for you. I hope you and your blindingly screaming red font and head-up-your-ass guilt-fest are happy.
God damn.
Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who said it, no matter if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense. - Buddha
I read about wls failures all the time, people who made it to goal and gained it all back or people who get revised to another surgery because the first one didn't work as expected.
I, Heidi, am not a failure. I, am a revision patient because I couldn't keep food down with my Lap-Band. Perhaps I didnt always chew 30 times before swallowing but even when I did, I threw up. I suffered throwing up for 2.5 years before switching to the sleeve that i am doing extremely well with.
It leads me to the question of why did you have wls in the first place, what exactly was the motivation and the expectation and what is your responsiblity in all of this.
I, had WLS because I am married and at 391lbs could not get pregnant. I would die to have a child. I, DID NOT have WLS to get skinny or avoid or get rid of a single co-morbidity because I didn't have one. I, expect to get pregnant in about a year. EVEN if that means getting RH, which btw I am now hypoglycemic and never was pre- WLS. MY motivation is to create a family. MY responsibility is myself. I got therapy to deal with my issues. THAT is my responsibility.
I can tell you for a fact I carry around a ****load of guilt that I had to resort to surgery to fix my inability to diet and keep myself from becoming diabetic which means I take a serious interest in keeping myself from regaining. I made it to my goal and I keep myself in check or my surgery keeps me in check and I remain where I am because I refuse to fail, I refuse to let anyone say look there goes another one who gained it all back, what a waste of our insurance dollars, they lose the weight and then start eating and drinking and stop trying to take care of themself.
It is super clear to me, and I am saying this as a therapist who deals with Bariatric patients on a daily basis, that you have not done yur due dilligence in finding a therapist and working out your issues. There is no reason to harbor and carry around guilt for being human. It is clear to me that you are determined to never be your mom. It is clear to me that something happened in your past that made you this way. It's not your fault Heidi. You need to seek help and let it go. You are young and have so much life to live and whatever it is that you are carrying around is preventing you from living it fully. I am not suggesting that eating and drinking is living life by any means. What I am suggesting is that you have some control stuff going on. What happened to you that took your control from you? What are you trying to undo in your past? I don't believe this all stems from your mom's passing.
Everyone knows that person who had wls and turned into an alchoholic or the one who gained it all back. Do we have a responsiblity to keep ourselves healthy at whatever goal that means because we were given a gift of a second chance? For me the answer is yes, I try to be a rolemodel of wls success because its important to me to keep diabetes as far at bay as possible and I want to be as thin and healthy as is possible for me.
Why do people become fat? Perhaps genetics, perhaps food addiction, perhaps trauma, sexual abuse etc etc..... Those reasons do not go away because of surgery. Why did you become fat? That doesn't go away either. People regain and turn to other addictions because they have not learned to deal with that void. Because they have not dealt with their pain. Don't be fooled by your seeming success on the scale. Control is just another addiction. You are no better or no worse than the rest of us.
Will I ever be a size 2 again, more then likely not, but I am squarely a 6 and here is where I plan to stay. Honestly gaining more weight makes me depressed, its bad enough I have size 4 skirts that are tight, its amazing what 10lbs can do to your size, but I celebrate where I am, yes I said celebrate like actually go out and say yeah me on my recent wls anniversary.
"Whats to celebrate on my birthday, the day I came into the world to two parents, one of who didn't want me, conceived on a night of drunk passion on new years. Yeah my birthday doesn't mean very much to me at all, but my wls anniversary means the world to me, its the day I decided to be free of the bondage of excess weight."
ding ding... There it is... right there... You are free from fat. but inside you sound to me as though you have felt unwanted for the great majority of your life. You sound like you equate alcohol with stupidity and mistakes, you being one of them, in your head at least. You may be free from fat but until you get your self some much needed therapy you will never be free from your feelings of being a burden on everyone. Your parents, the health insurance company, your job, etc etc etc... You need to find your self worth somehow. I promise you wont find it on the scale. You talk about taking care of your son as being your responsibility. Thats not being responsible, that stems from your feelings of being a burden. I see right through that mask you wear. You are basically saying I wont let him be a burden like I am. So you will enable him and let him be your burden (although you will never admit that out loud) instead of letting him fall and pick himself up. You aren't being responsible or doing anyone any favors. Please please seek the help you need. There is so much happiness out there to be had!
And I say **** you to anyone who tries to take my day away from me, success is a choice, I chose to not fail wls and that does mean some sacrifice. There is no ice cream on earth that tastes as good as a thin healthy body feels. Period.
I, Heidi, am not a failure. I, am a revision patient because I couldn't keep food down with my Lap-Band. Perhaps I didnt always chew 30 times before swallowing but even when I did, I threw up. I suffered throwing up for 2.5 years before switching to the sleeve that i am doing extremely well with.
It leads me to the question of why did you have wls in the first place, what exactly was the motivation and the expectation and what is your responsiblity in all of this.
I, had WLS because I am married and at 391lbs could not get pregnant. I would die to have a child. I, DID NOT have WLS to get skinny or avoid or get rid of a single co-morbidity because I didn't have one. I, expect to get pregnant in about a year. EVEN if that means getting RH, which btw I am now hypoglycemic and never was pre- WLS. MY motivation is to create a family. MY responsibility is myself. I got therapy to deal with my issues. THAT is my responsibility.
I can tell you for a fact I carry around a ****load of guilt that I had to resort to surgery to fix my inability to diet and keep myself from becoming diabetic which means I take a serious interest in keeping myself from regaining. I made it to my goal and I keep myself in check or my surgery keeps me in check and I remain where I am because I refuse to fail, I refuse to let anyone say look there goes another one who gained it all back, what a waste of our insurance dollars, they lose the weight and then start eating and drinking and stop trying to take care of themself.
It is super clear to me, and I am saying this as a therapist who deals with Bariatric patients on a daily basis, that you have not done yur due dilligence in finding a therapist and working out your issues. There is no reason to harbor and carry around guilt for being human. It is clear to me that you are determined to never be your mom. It is clear to me that something happened in your past that made you this way. It's not your fault Heidi. You need to seek help and let it go. You are young and have so much life to live and whatever it is that you are carrying around is preventing you from living it fully. I am not suggesting that eating and drinking is living life by any means. What I am suggesting is that you have some control stuff going on. What happened to you that took your control from you? What are you trying to undo in your past? I don't believe this all stems from your mom's passing.
Everyone knows that person who had wls and turned into an alchoholic or the one who gained it all back. Do we have a responsiblity to keep ourselves healthy at whatever goal that means because we were given a gift of a second chance? For me the answer is yes, I try to be a rolemodel of wls success because its important to me to keep diabetes as far at bay as possible and I want to be as thin and healthy as is possible for me.
Why do people become fat? Perhaps genetics, perhaps food addiction, perhaps trauma, sexual abuse etc etc..... Those reasons do not go away because of surgery. Why did you become fat? That doesn't go away either. People regain and turn to other addictions because they have not learned to deal with that void. Because they have not dealt with their pain. Don't be fooled by your seeming success on the scale. Control is just another addiction. You are no better or no worse than the rest of us.
Will I ever be a size 2 again, more then likely not, but I am squarely a 6 and here is where I plan to stay. Honestly gaining more weight makes me depressed, its bad enough I have size 4 skirts that are tight, its amazing what 10lbs can do to your size, but I celebrate where I am, yes I said celebrate like actually go out and say yeah me on my recent wls anniversary.
"Whats to celebrate on my birthday, the day I came into the world to two parents, one of who didn't want me, conceived on a night of drunk passion on new years. Yeah my birthday doesn't mean very much to me at all, but my wls anniversary means the world to me, its the day I decided to be free of the bondage of excess weight."
ding ding... There it is... right there... You are free from fat. but inside you sound to me as though you have felt unwanted for the great majority of your life. You sound like you equate alcohol with stupidity and mistakes, you being one of them, in your head at least. You may be free from fat but until you get your self some much needed therapy you will never be free from your feelings of being a burden on everyone. Your parents, the health insurance company, your job, etc etc etc... You need to find your self worth somehow. I promise you wont find it on the scale. You talk about taking care of your son as being your responsibility. Thats not being responsible, that stems from your feelings of being a burden. I see right through that mask you wear. You are basically saying I wont let him be a burden like I am. So you will enable him and let him be your burden (although you will never admit that out loud) instead of letting him fall and pick himself up. You aren't being responsible or doing anyone any favors. Please please seek the help you need. There is so much happiness out there to be had!
And I say **** you to anyone who tries to take my day away from me, success is a choice, I chose to not fail wls and that does mean some sacrifice. There is no ice cream on earth that tastes as good as a thin healthy body feels. Period.
Looking for a great time in NY! Come to the OH Long Island Conference 2011! Use Coupon Code LebowitzNY11 for $30 off and a free t-shirt and tote bag! All proceeds will be donated to the OAC
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