anyone reach goal but still feel fat?

I'm now considered to be of normal weight and have even passed my goal of 141, now weighing 133 pounds after 10 months post bypass. People ask me if I feel great andthey  tell me I look wonderful, even beautiful. Personally I feel no different and still view myself as fat and average looking. Trying on size 8 jeans and having them fit, even being a little loose, is a great feeling but that feeling soon ends. Of course I am happy I am thinner which also means I am healthier BUT I JUST DON"T FEEL like I weigh 133 pounds. My counselor suggested I go on the boards and ask if this is common for some of the members here. She is surprised at how I simply do not feel any lighter  stating that whenever she carries a heavy object and then puts it down she is greatly relieved. Comments anyone?

 

annie 

Your counselor simply doesn't get it. I suggest you seek a counselor who deals with body image/self-image etc.  Very common for people who have lost weight to still 'feel fat' as they have not dealt with their 'head issues'.  I hope you find the right counselor as this one is steering you off the path to recovery.

 As weird as it seems, it helps to cut eyeholes in a paper bag, put it over your head and look into a mirror.  The brain cannot register that the body attached to the head has changed.  Seeing your body without your head helps your brain see that the body has changed.

This is interesting, reminds me of the treatment for phantom limb pain (mirror-boxes).. I'll be trying this as I have issues seeing myself accurately when I lose a lot quickly.

I think it often takes awhile for the new experience to sink in. It's breaking habits of self image that you have had for a long time, and self esteem goes along with that.

Also, it can be scary to take on the new looks- looking thin opens up new possibilities that can be pretty overwhelming, and it changes our relationships. The fears have a part in people regaining their weight- there is a comfort and safety in being overweight.

You might want to work with your counselor on these issues, and see if she has experience in working with body dysmorphia, the technical term for what you are experiencing. It is very common post weight loss surgery, and with eating disorders in general. If she doesn't have experience, you might consider finding an eating disorder specialist to work with.

I have been speaking as a psychotherapist. Personally, I have also had to deal the reality changing, and taking awhile to catch up. Now I am loving my new freedom and ease.

Congratulations for your hard work and making goal!

meeeeeeeeeeeee!  I cant find myself in photos, I look for me and then see the thin girl with the dark hair and say to myself  "is that me?"  I am 18 months out and am a couple of lbs from my personal goal but I look down at my body and at my age look at the sag, look at my belly which is loose and think I am fat.  Not obese, but belly fat. 

I like the idea of the paperbag over the head, mirror thing that someone else suggested!  At first I found it to be funny, but I am going to try it!

Self image issues effect some post ops, but not all. Most post ops can develop a "mental adjustment" to their new image during the wt loss process.  But I do know several members of my post op groups who have had to seek professional counseling to deal with these self image issues. These post ops have lost 100 pounds plus, yet still think of themselves as morbidly obese.  There are even medical professional post ops who have this same issue.  Yes, it does happen.  Every post op is different, so what is "common"??  Her analogy doesn't make sense to me. DAVE

back in the early part of my wl journey, my surgeon told a group of us at a support meeting to plan for this, that it takes the brain almost 5 years to catch up with what your body has transformed to. I am over 3 years out, and have been at goal for over 1-1/2 years, and even now, I still see me fat. I fold my clothes and think "who am I kidding, no way will that fit" nevermind that I know they do. weird but true

I still go to the plus size section at stores. When I am in the "regular" sized
clothes I feel guilty. Like people are looking at me and thinking "whats that
fat chick doing in the juniors section". I know that no one is thinking that
 I just feel like they are. When I see myself in a full length mirror or my
reflection I don't know who that person is, I have actually startled myself.

Just to let you know you are not alone.

Dani

Does your counselor work with WLS patients? Has she ever been heavy herself?  My LCSW is a WLS patient herself and she gets it.  I'm 2 years out I wear a size 6 and weigh 135-140 pounds and let me tell you I'm still a fat chick in my brain..

it takes several years for our brains to catch up to our bodies.