Consider who you are talking to...

It sounds like you are ahead of the curve on this issue and I hope that you continue to work to appreciate and honor yourself as you move forward in your journey.

Wishing  you continued success,

 Well for some people losing the weight wasn't enough. For some to keep hating themselves will not be enough.  For some, these problems would be there if the were fit and trim.  When you get to a certain age, you figure the wrinkles you have you have earned.  The stretch marks on your stomach after carrying your children are a badge of courage and love for those children you gave birth to.To those who find gratitude for being alive after they had their legs blown off in the Middle East and continue to see the positive in their lives.  So dealing with loose skin compared to what life could hand us could be so much worse.  So yes, loose skin is not pretty, but then again everyday above ground is a good day so be thankful for the things that are important and quit hating yourself for things that matter not in the grand scheme of life.  Jane in California

Hi Jane,

I really wish that I were able to see my own stretch marks and other issues as badges of courage and the map of where I have been in life. I continue to strive to do so and appreciate the perspective that I will try to do incorporate into my own life.

That said, like you, I'm so grateful for all that is and all that I have. I start each morning focusing on the things for which I'm grateful; this is as it relates to my weight loss journey and my life in general. As it has for many, life has dealt me a few ugly hands lately; however, the thing that keeps me moving forward is looking at what is in my glass, not the milk spilled on the floor.

I like and appreciate your perspective on this issue and on life in general. 

I hope I'll get back to CA some day; if and when I do, I hope I'll have the opportunity to meet you in person. 

All the best,

Where's the cotton-pickin' "LIKE" button when you need it??!!

:-)

There is often such a huge discrepancy between how a person treats themselves and how they treat others, and that is what is being addressed. Reality needs to be addressed and dealt with; that is not the same as kindness and compassion with ourselves as well as with others.

Thanks, Barbara!

Anne,

Thanks for the succinct clarification of the message I was trying to convey!

 

This is a great thread Barbara and I understand clearly where you are coming from and what the message is.  I personally can assess and critique myself and be totally honest with myself about my appearance and likes/dislikes about my anatomy ... whatever I can change or enhance I do because I want to/love to ... whatever I cannot or choose not to change I am perfectly fine with because none of those issues define me ... the exterior is just that ... an external appearance ... I rather cultivate my inner being ... where I find peace and rest and joy ...

I have said many times that I hate my butt .. I always did .. no matter the size I am I have my genetically inherited protuberance LOL ... however . .. it does not define me and I will not lose a wink of sleep or indulge in self-hatred because of it ... so I just alter the clothing that I purchase to fit accordingly and/or I make my awesome outfits to fit and still rock my big caboose LOL ... it is all good...

Yet I understand your point ..there is a great difference difference an honest evaluation of one self and another in taking that self assessment to the point of mistreating ourselves and others....

Love does indeed start with self and projects out to others... the exterior is just that ... an outside shell ... I remember when my husband had to have his forefoot amputated ...  we had tried for a whole year with his doctors everything in our power to save that limb ... when there was nothing else left but this one course of action we were determined to embark on this together ... he looked at me and asked how I felt about it ... I said honey if that foot is going to compromise you I rather have the man and lose the joint... and we KNEW that we would be fine... together we went shopping around for what we called 'Mr. Black foot" playfully ... a prosthesis to match his skin tone ... he had not even had surgery yet then .... Then the surgery happened 2 years ago ... friends here on OH and IRL stayed with me checking on me on the phone the whole time he was in surgery..and I was freaking out and panicking ... he went in for a full amputation and came out with only the forefoot gone ... A  BLESSING ...  the love from HERE and from my peers and friends and family poured in in all directions ... and today my DH is missing part of one foot and all the toes off of the other ... he just recently had more surgery done to the better foot and has recovered nicely and till this day we BOTH DANCE TOGETHER .... BECAUSE HE IS WALKING AND EVEN RUNNING ON THE TREADMILL AND DANCING TODAY .... WITH THE REMNANT AND WITH BARELY A TRACE OF A LIMP ... it did not define him and it did not define me .... we go out together dancing on the good foot ... because we refuse to curse our fire .... he is not a LIMB he is the man I love and I married ... there are many accessories available from no cost to great expenses to improve our appearances if we so choose if it so bothers us ... I rather cultivate and look at beauty from within...

Speaking positive things into our lives and our environment and to others is an awesome practice indeed!!!

Blessings and happiness and best wishes always on your continued journey.... YOU ARE A  BEAUTIFUL WOMAN INDEED!

((((MartitaLinda)))),

Where do I begin? Thank you is a good start. You always continue to bless me and others with your loving kindness and wisdom. Thank you for that. 

I was just talking to someone today. I have had and continue to have some significant health issues. I hadn't seen him in a couple of years and he asked me how my health was. I answered that I continue to have health issues, but continue to be grateful for the blessings in my life. I shared with him that I start each morning with a prayer of gratitude. It is not that I am 'Polly Anna', but I have learned that it helps me to focus on the blessings in my life rather than the difficulties. This doesn't mean I stick my head in the sand, but that rather I focus on the positive so that I can deal with the reality in the post productive way possible. 

After reading your response, I am sure that we must be related ;-) since we have such a similar view of life. 

Wishing you and yours continued blessings my friend, 

I used to have a tape in my head that played such negative and hurtful comments to myself, about myself and from myself. I beat myself up all the time. In counsling I learned a techique of looking at myself in the mirror everyday and for a full 5 minutes I had to look in my eyes and say "I love you"
The negative tape got replaced with a much more forgiving and understanding voice. One that gave positive and supportive feedback instead of the harsh negative namecalling. 
 
I think this is what you are saying. To replace the harshness with gentleness and the name calling with positve supporting words.

That its not about telling the truth or Lying. Its about how you say it to yourself.