Has gastric bypass destroyed your life?

I get it.  And I get the video.  The surgery may have been a catalyst in the sense that, for you and your wife, the weight losses allowed your real personalities to come into play. You could not do that until the weight was gone.  It didn't work.

I get it.  I got it the first time around.  (Maybe that should scare me )..Kidding.....now take what you have learned and go find that woman *****ally IS the right one for you!  And now, be grateful for the surgery that changed your life.........and go find it!  Good luck to you!  :)

It's not the weight loss surgery that ruined your life.  Those issues were there from the beginning.  You made some bad decisions, especially in the open marriage/separation without legal representation area.  Women can be some crazy *****es (well, men can be crazy too), so don't handle important things like this without legal footing.  I'm glad you found some relief, but most of us realize after a while that things that do not kill us only make us stronger.  You'll feel even better still when you don't blame any one thing for your life falling apart.

Dear Bill,

Thanks for your post and especially for the link.  I'm passing this one forward!

Bill,

Unfortunately, I think you are looking for something to blame your failed marriage on. More than likely, the issues were present before the surgery but the lack of communication covered it up. Now that you both have lost weight you both have freed an inter self. I think the best thing to do at this point is to get a good lawyer and  move on. Make sure that your children remain the top priority. I wish you the best.

My advice, if you really want to get custody of your kids do not to put your personal life out on the internet, especially if you are trying to make your wife look bad, that she wanted an open marriage etc.  That **** will come back to bite you, she will get the biggest shark in the divorce attorney tank and make you look like a raving lunatic.  I would get OH to delete this entire thread and not post anything about this anywhere.  Just my two cents.

I dont think GB ruined my life, just the opposite. The whole point is that despite this week my life isnt ruined, and my strength comes from a philosophy Im trying to share. No negativity.

I "get it" and the scary FACT that some here don't seem to understand that YES WL does "change' people and NOT always for the good ;)  I'm Glad that your able to rise up and take hold of your life and limit the negativity that's important :)

Unfortunately divorce happens, and  I think your Wife was on a Derailed Train long before this and you and your children are the casualties. I do hope things will work out for you in the end. I've dealt with a CRAZY EX-DIL and thankfully my son won Full custody of his children. So I do understand Dad's that LOVE their children and Mother's that don't (even tho that concept is very foreign to me )

I wish you a happier Life and continued success on your WL Journey!! my favorite thing to remember and say is KARMA IS GOOD  :)

Annie gets it! Finally. This is entirely driven by karma. A lot of us struggle with various issues after surgery, Im just trying to help those who are. Best wishes to you all.

Please get yourself a kick butt attorney. Don't worry about saving the world! Save yourself and you kids.  And, good luck.

Thanks for the link. I hadn't heard of Joe Rogan and I really like his message. I needed that today.

I urge you to look at all this in a completely different way. Don't fight with your wife. Surrender. If she says she wants the kids (full custody), tell her okay, because I want my children to have the most peaceful, secure, happy, drama-free life they can possibly have. Work out the visitation. Keep going to school. Believe me, I know your kids are your life. Of course I ALSO believe that you should love YOU more than ANYONE. That way, your children get a dad who can love others because he knows how to love himself.

You have to prove to NO ONE that you adore your children and would lay down your life for them. NO ONE. The ones you want to come out of this as happy, adjusted human beings are your children. If that means you are amenable to anything your wife asks, then you DO IT. You can even tell her: "I will not fight with you over our children. I want all of us to be happy. I'll agree to whatever you want as long as my children are happy."

I recommend Dr Wayne Dyer (who went through a divorce that was really nasty on both sides, and one day, he realized he had to stop fighting for his sanity's sake and for the sake of his children). Also, Eckhart Tolle's The Power Of Now is just a lifesaver. The writer Byron Katie helps us get on the path of dealing with REALITY, of dealing with how things REALLY ARE, not how we want them to be, and not how we wish other people would act. She is absolutely great. The book, "I Need Your Love… Is That True?" is a great introduction. Her book "Loving What Is" is another great one.

I urge you again: CHOOSE PEACE for your children. This is NOT about "I'm going to WIN, my wife is going to LOSE." This is about what is best for everyone (yes, including the mother of your children who you used to love). You can have your children's names tattooed on your body, but you don't have to do anything like that to prove your love to your children. You have to CHOOSE PEACE to allow their lives not to be ruined by their parents' disagreements.

I wish you all the love and luck in the world!