Never ending frustration

This right here - I do not want to let these comments sink in at all! I know I'm not too thin. I *know* this and I'm very happy with how I look and feel. I don't want to change the way I eat and so far I haven't. I'm terrified of maintenance and of regain. I want to be that long-timer who maintains my loss. I want to be that long-timer here at 10 years saying that I lost 230-ish pounds and 10 years later I was able to stay around that loss the whole time. Which is why the comments bother me so much - I have to be vigilant or the weight could easily come back IMO. 

I want to and have to keep fighting.

Good! The mental part is definitely the hardest, but in some ways that part does get easier as time goes on. Hang in there!!

I think it is hard on people that have seen us heavy our entire lives to see us thin and healthy. I said something about 3 months ago to my mom about being a size 6 and she was like- oh you don't NEED to be a size 6 that is too thin! Now I'm buying 4's and I'm not done losing yet.

A co worker also said i was 'too thin' this week- it did upset me but I'm letting it roll off my back.

I think from your comments this is just going to be a conversation topic you do not engage with your mother. Same as me. I keep it quiet and don't speak of it. I will answer her questions if she has some but this will just be a topic that is off limits. You don't need her gosh darn negativity as it is not healthy for your mental state.  same as the comments I get.

 

 

It's hard to teach an old dog new tricks... chances are despite what you say your Mom and others will say what they want despite asking them not too (some people will do it more.) 

You can change how you react...

I have a family member that literally never asks how I am... they go on and on about what is going on in their life, all the good or bad and I listen and when I can get a word in I comment... I used to get ticked, hurt, angry so I'd about 1/2 hour in say "well I'm doing well or guess what is happening here" and literally within minutes of talking I'd hear "OK well I better get going." Nothing I can do to change this person... I have choices (end the relationship not always possible), have a heart to heart and maybe it will change... or change my reaction/attitude... now about 15 minutes in I break into the monologue ;) and say my "guess what is happening with me" line and sure enough like clockwork it's a few minutes in and "OK gotta go" it's a game and a giggle for me now... it was much better for my blood pressure.

Your Mom is going say stop losing... Thanks for caring... are those new kitchen curtains? Did you get a haircut? What do you think of my new shoes? Do you ever have that mole removed from your back? Whatever random thing to toss it in another direction ;) LOL 

But you also have to stop talking about your weight loss or you open the door... You look great, how much have you lost... gets.. Thank you I feel great and it's not about #'s it's about health right... can I get an amen? How about those Cubs ;)

 

I caved into the pressure and stopped my loss.. I could have easily gone down another 10 to 20 lbs. I had to eat 6000K calories a day (a lot of simple carbs) to stop my loss. I do not agree with BMI scales, but the biggest issue is that we lose weight unevenly in our faces. It makes us look "drawn".

You may want to consider getting injectables in your cheeks. If I had known about when I was losing, I would have done it then when people were saying they thought i had a terminal disease.

Scott

Wow..6000 calories it is a lot of food and lot of wasted money...that basicaly goes to the toilet.  

Even before RNY I often had days I did not want to eat a lot of food. I was never "volume eater".  Sweets and carbs were my downfall.  I would bake a cake or cookies ...and eat them. I was - I am a great cook- baker. 

I know even if I had an choice - DS would not have been good WLS for me.  Probably VSG would be ideal... But then again - with my past sugar "addiction" - it may not work well for me weight wise.  But I honestly would exchange being as skinny as I am now for more normal life. 

I know some DS people IRL. When we go out to eat - I make sure they bring the extra butter.... And once I had my helping - the rest (not much left) is for them.  Lol. 

Their portion are as mine - maybe a tad bigger? But not by much.  They need to be careful about carb and grains as I am.  Or they gain.  Or get sick - gas, cramps, etc. 

And ..in a second year post op RNY - I also had to increase my calories to stop losing. And in my case - my body fat % got so low that it affected my hormons. (hormons are made from fat) 

I can't imagine having to eat more than I already was.. .  Some people need to be able to eat high volume and almost anything they feel like eating.  For those people - you need to eat - what ever it is - their stress, emotions, good or bad feelings - DS may be a good choice.  As long as they have enough money now and in the future for lots of high quality food, vitamins, minerals, doctor visits, lab work, etc etc...  Because if they done follow proper diet and suplementation for life - they'll simple die ... Or get very very sick.. 

 

That was posted on another thread about the a time just after I reached my goal weight. At that time, i was weightlifting 5 days a week and exercising the other 2 (active recovery). It is very common for weight lifters to need to eat more calories, because building muscle burns a LOT of calories. That is why they make mass building shakes for people that did not have WLS. I could have gone to the doctor and gotten digestive enzymes...but he would have likely made me wait, since I was at the very high end of a normal BMI....just barely at 25 (we know that did not account for my excess skin after losing 300 lbs).

I currently eat 3000-4000 calories a day on average. Sometimes more ...sometimes less. It doesn't go into the toilet....I have 1 good BM a day like clockwork. Normal consistancy. I don't have gas issues...unless I eat Tuna with extra mayo. I dont' know why, but that particular food just does not agree with me.

I am actually starting to weight lift again and on a "clean eating" kick. So my eating is much healthier than most. I do not typically eat fast food, I do not eat a lot of white products-not because I can't...but because aside from weight gain...those products can cause inflamation and other things. I do eat high protein and high fat diet...with a good quality high fiber carbs. On days I eat high sugar...especially now around the holiday...i don't sweat it, because it won't cause me to gain.


Good point about the labs/vits etc though!
I've had perfect labs for 10 years. I really recommend following Vitalady's plan for RNYers and DSers for newbies. It's what has kept me going. There are plenty of RNyers and DSers over the years that have had trouble keeping up basic supplimentation/labs and then come back years later with issues. Even with supplimentation, I've seen people with both surgeries requiring iron infusions (more RNYers post about that then DSers, but I suspect that's only because there are more RNYers) on this ste.

Wait? What? I just responded to your post on THIS tread?  Did you block yourself? 

No..this posted on 2 threads. Don't know why....OH glitch I guess.

Moms are moms, not experts in weight loss medical care.  Love her, but know when not to listen to her.