Sometimes People Are So Freaking Ignorant!!!

 Last night my (extremely huge) family had our annual "Lewis" family Thanksgiving (yup, more than a month early) at my older sisters house. Typically my older sister and I don't always get along, but for the sake of my kids and my niece, I try very hard to not let her get to me. Well, I was down in the game room with the kids and when I got up to the living room I heard them all bad mouthing any type of WLS. I about burst into tears. They my older sister kept throwing out these 'facts' that you hear on tv, like the news, Dr. Oz & Oprah, and how it's does more harm than good because 'every' wls patient just loses muscle, they don't lose all their fat. (etc, etc, etc). Then my sister in law started  in about it too. The only person who said anything positive was my brother (who's usually a real a$$ about such things) and said that he can see why somebody who struggled with their weight would want the surgery to help them lose weight, especially if their weight was affecting their quality of life. He compared it to saying that if somebody told him he could have a surgery to make him quit smoking that he'd do it, as he's sure millions of others would too, and that if he was stupid enough not to use it as a tool to continue not smoking for the rest of his life then it was his fault for not dealing with his addiction while he was best able to (during the honeymoon phase of the surgery) then it was his fault the surgery wasn't a 'lifelong' success. 

First, I need to explain that the only people in my family who know of my looking into the surgery & had progressed to the stage that I have are my mother, husband & daughter. Well, my younger sister knew I was looking into it, but not that I've made the commitment to it that I have. So, there I walked into a conversation that showed me just how sad it is that some people who have wonderful educations (my sister is and audiologist & has a phd) and my sister in law can be so stupid and dense about these things. I felt like I was being attacked for my choice that I was making. When my younger sister saw how upset I was she took me aside on the premise that one of my boys needed me, and asked what was wrong, so I blurted my whole journey out to her so far and told her I could just see everybody in that room (but our one brother) just saying I was setting myself up for failure. I hate when people act & talk educated when they don't know crap of what they are talking about!! My lil sis is very interested to learn all about the ds surgery, especially as her husbands aunt & a few of their friend have had such success with wls (1 of whom is 8 years out and the poster child for wls success).  

Her advice, screw the rest of them, and she feels I shouldn't say anything to them when I have surgery, because they will just act like jerks to me. She says it's hard work to lose the weight & maintain the loss after surgery, but she knows that I don't sit on my butt doing nothing all the time & that I exercise regularly, so she's determined I'm going to be a success. 

Sorry, I just needed to complain where people might understand. 

How should I handle their ignorance? Especially as my surgeons office feels that I'll be able to have my surgery before Christmas, which is the next time we get together. Luckily, I don't have to deal with the "bashers" on a daily basis. I'm really considering my one sisters advice to not tell the others, would that be so bad??? That I'm just trying another "diet". Would that be so bad of me?

I wouldn't tell them anything. Why let yourself in for a bunch of verbal abuse from those people. What you do and how you do it is your business not theirs.
You need to ignore crazies like that. They will just make you miserable, life is to short to be miserable.

Just keep getting ready with your preparations for surgery. Your svelte body someday will convince You that you where right.

Keep on doing what you are. Good Luck

 It is totally up to you what you want to tell them. If you don't want to tell them about the surgery, don't!

If you do, hold your head high, let them know you had surgery and are ROCKING IT. You will do great and show them just how wrong they are.

*hugs*

Asshattery flourishes when smart people stand by and say nothing. I would send them each an email, telling them that you will be having weight loss surgery within the next couple of months, and that you were so shocked at many of the uninformed things they were saying that you chose not to participate in the conversation. Let them know if they'd like some factual information on WLS you'd be more than willing to share, and you look forward seeing them at Christmas. 

"Like."

I would just like to add that unless these people are paying your bills, they should shut the **** up.

Nicolle

Preach it girl!

I agree with this statement totally!

WLS does not fix dysfunctional families. This is a great example of someone who needs a good therapist....NOW...before surgery.... to help you deal with your family and their issues.

The fact that they have the power to upset you so much is enough evidence for me that you have stuff to deal with.

A good therapist is worth their weight in gold. I hope you will find one!!!

Then you can credit your DS with helping you deal with your family stuff, just like I credit the DS with my smoking cessation. An indirect effect, but very real.

I was going to agree with your sister (Screw them!), but like Bookfaerie's answer better since it seems a lot more practical and helpful. 

Try to forgive them for their cluelessness and continue on your path doing what you need to do for you!

Lori

You don't have to or need to handlle them... You don't need to tell them anything. You are an adult, and giving them information or even meeting them is an option and is your choice. 
You already made an informed decission and only you know why and how your decission was made. Neither you neither anyone needs to have uninformed "experts" giving you their opinions, let alone critize you or judge you for doing something for your health.  Is your life what is in the line here, not the color of your hair!
Do what you have to do and don't tell them anything. Once they realize how the weight is coming off of you if they ask tell them or just tell them that you are on Atkins or something like that.
I know what I am talking about because no one besides my husband knows I had the surgery and I plan to keep it that way.  I had been in meetings, pic-nics and eating outs and no one can tell that I eat different from the rest.  So no problem.  I wish you the best.  Do not give up.

Peace and good.

You can't save the world.

You should stand up and speak out if you feel its the right thing to do.

But to do so with the expectation that you're going to be able to overcome the lifelong indoctrination and daily messages they get about what they should think of fat and fat people will only end in disappointment.

My advice would be to speak your mind and move on. Make your own way in life, you won't be able to make much difference in what they believe.

Steve